What a Hall of Fame post!

IWL, your exuberance, tenacity, and drive to KOMT is eminently evident and a tremendous chizuk to me (and probably anyone reading your post)!

The RBS"O should continue to give you much Divine assistance in this battle and all facets of your life!


We should be zoche to be on the way to Yerushalayim before Tisha B'av arrives tonight.....

With much brotherly love,
Muttel 

Amazing stuff Reb IWL, keep it going!

Your dvar Torah is spot on. What you have is connection. The closer we are to Hashem, the more we can feel the pain of the churban and galus. You can 'celebrate' on Tisha b'Av because the sadness comes from the deeper relationship that you are developing.

Continued hatzlacha!

Beautiful vort! And MAZAL TOV! 

Aveilus is a step in building what we've lost. If we don't care for it, we don't mourn it. Therefore, Chazal say, Moshiach was born on this day, as it's a day of rebirth. 

Celebrating a month doesn't have to be with extravagant parties, it's a deep and personal celebration of growth, purity and rebuilding. 

There's no bigger day to celebrate it than Tisha b'Av, when we begin the process of rebirth and rebuilding. 

Obviously, we're mourning the incomplete geula, but we're showing that we want it fully. We want the ומלאה הארץ דעה את השם, and והא ראיה, look at the רצונות of ours! 

KOMT!

What a beautiful, emotional vort!
You've made my eyes teary... and that's with me being some 3500 miles distance from you... but we're in this struggle together and our Neshamos are all connected!

As we'll be laining tonight: 
חסדי ה’ כי לא תמנו כי לא כלו רחמיו. חדשים לבקרים רבה אמונתיך
There is no end to Hashem's רחמים, so we'll never give up, every day is a new start..

Keep up your great work!

בדמעות של התרגשות
UpAndDown

הודו לה׳ כי טוב כי לעולם חסדו

60 Days! I never thought I would go that long without porn. I didn't think it was possible. I was sure I was doomed. And with thinking like that, I was. But with Hashem's infinite patience and kindness, I discovered GYE and you, my dear friends. I am forever grateful for all of your support, and specifically that of HHM, without which I'd never have gotten off the ground. The combination of reading your stories and the chizzuk I got from them, friends I've been in touch with, and real accountability (HHM!), have been one awesome combination.

All the above is true. But this moment of honesty brings me to some other truths (not to be confused with "alternative facts"). On the one hand, as I go longer without porn, I think I can feel the habit aspect of it slowing slipping away. On the street, my eyes don't linger, it's very rare for me to take a second look. These are huge accomplishments. And yet, on the flip side, the excitement of winning, the thrill of meeting new friends united by one holy mission, the high of racking up the days , it's faded a bit. (Did I mention that I wrote a poem #418758? Now that is high.) Now, I find myself becoming a bit complacent. And complacency is where the YH hangs out. While I BH haven't had any falls, I've felt myself slipping a little here and there.

Fortunately, I'm pretty sure I know what needs to be done. You see, I am only here today, at day 60, thanks to HHM's accountability program. It's been the most powerful tool I've wielded in this fight, and the one I've see the most success with. That being said, I think I've become too reliant on it. I've gotten lazy regarding the positive, the עשה טוב.

So, I need to start reading TBOTG again. Every day. So that not looking stays joyful. Also, I need to reach out to more of you. This has been hard for me, and I've only spoken to a few you. (Oh yeah and one of you has a broken phone, as has been mentioned. Not your fault!) Part of my issue, aside from the initial uncomfortable feeling, is purely technical. I BH have a full schedule (like I'm supposed to be doing something else now lol) and not much downtime. The little downtime that I do have is usually spend it with my wife and kids. On top of that, for better or for worse, my wife (mostly) has no idea about any of this, and that's really inhibited my ability to have relationships and discussions on the phone. So I'm a bit stuck on this one. But I'm determined to figure it out, because the warm feeling I get shmoozing with one of you about this most הייליגע struggle lasts a long time, and I know from reading these forums how instrumental it has been for many of you. And I want in! So, if anyone has any suggestions with regard to my wife, please let me know! Now, with Hashem's help, to 90 days we go, and beyond!!

With gratitude and determination, 
iwantlife

iwantlife wrote on 13 Sep 2024 16:17:

Re: the wife. I told my wife I'm talking to people to "mentor them" and I know several holy brothers use that technique too. (I may have stolen the idea from one of them.) But that works for me since my wife knew I joined GYE when she caught me.

I still do all my schmoozing not in her presence - I am sure people in my office wonder why I keep on answering the phone and running out of the building
Many people sacrifice night seder occasionally in order to work the phones. A commute is good too. The basic idea is somehow lack of time didn't stop you watching porn, so it's not a great excuse when it comes to working on the solution.

Keep on crushing it!

Well, I am pleased to report to the lomdei GYE (not to be confused with smaller yeshivah known as 'BMG'), that this morning I achieved a new high score on the popular game Sidewalk Examiners. As I was walking home after dropping my baby off at the babysitter, I notice a woman coming towards me on the sidewalk. Having now seen her once, iwantlife thought to himself, 'From this distance, looks like a good one, let's look away and get some early-morning שכר'. As she drew closer, I see her gesturing towards me. I look up and, lo and behold (always wanted to say that) it's my wonderful wife! What a happy (if not slightly strange) surprise!

iwantlife wrote on 17 Sep 2024 15:27:

I'm curious: did she still look as good after the lo and behold?

iwantlife wrote on 17 Sep 2024 15:27:

Love it! Thanks!
מעניין לעניין באותו עניין...
R' Yitzchok Silver once described a similar situation (re Chesed begins at home..):
A Yungerman walks down the road after Kollel holding his heavy Gemara.. he sees from far a woman pushing a double stroller with heavy shopping hanging off the handles and a few more bags in her hands and 5 pitzkelach walking along... he thinks to himself Oy nebach, she's struggling to get home with all that shopping and 7 children... I should really give her a hand... but hey, it's not really appropriate... but lema'ase it's a Mitzvah of Chesed... yes..no..yes..no.. He decides to do it. So he runs along to help her... as he gets closer he discovered its his wife! He says to her: "Do you mind taking my Gemara for me I just need to catch Mincha.."

thompson wrote on 17 Sep 2024 18:03:

​Ah R' Thompson, a valid question! To be precise, I question your validity! (No seriously, you might want change your avatar, as your name is thompson, yet your picture is that of thomson (different mustaches))! 

Now to your excellent question, I'll be quite frank. The picture that my כח הדמיון cooked up, based on my initial look, was probably more fantastic and unreal than that of my wife, I will concede . But upon seeing that the woman I was avoiding was in fact my wife, I dare say she looked much better, for I was seeing far more than a pretty picture standing in front of me.

iwantlife wrote on 17 Sep 2024 19:06:

Love this! So well articulated! 

chaimoigen wrote on 17 Sep 2024 19:12:

Unreal!!!!

If we would only think like this about our wives!

138eagle wrote on 17 Sep 2024 19:33:



I didn't always. Too often I still don't. B"H today I was zoche, at least for a fleeting moment. I have no doubt that not watching porn or masturbating for 60 plus days has something to do with it...

iwantlife wrote on 17 Sep 2024 19:43:

Definitely!!!

I can relate to the feeling. Lately I feel that my wife has changed.

But after some thought, I realize it is me.

So today is interesting. Apparently furious at my successes of the past 48 hours (by this I mean my previously mentioned Sidewalk Examiners Surfers achievement and oh yeah, did I mention I was zoche to meet our illustrious leader, HHM, in-person the other day?! A boost of chizuk if there ever was one!), the YH is pulling out one of his old tricks: I'm sick. Oh yeah and tired too, baby was up last night. (Whaddya know, that's the name of my thread.) Add to that the pressure I have to meet a deadline for something at the end of the week. Pre-'65 (clean days), this tremendously uncomfortable and uchy feeling, both mental and physical, would have me reaching for my porn pacifier. However, thanks to HHM's accountability program, that's simply not an option. That being said, I'm still feeling a bit listless, so posting here to make myself feel a bit better!