I also do something like that.. go over to the kid who was giving me a hard time and plant a kiss on his angelic sleeping face (even thoough when hes awake it aint always so angelic..)

Yeshayahu 41:6 wrote on 24 Feb 2023 07:10:

אהה!!!!!!

Ok guys, for anyone who was sitting on shpilkes wondering if i would live to see another day when my wife found out about GYE, you can all breathe a sigh of relief. I spoke about it with her, telling her that its a group of bnei aliya discussing mens issues and sharing each others' struggles and successes. I did NOT reveal my struggles with M though. 
She did however have trouble understanding one. Why the anonymity? Why cant we get to know each other by name, wouldnt that be so much more meaningful? So we're making an exclusive purim party for all members of GYE at our house details to follow.....
ok ok ok ok chill! im kidding!! 
Women are different than men (i say that at the risk of being canceled) and they connect better when everyone knows everything about everyone so an anonymous forum is not understandable to her. But she was happy i found an oilum to connect with. She was always asking me to find someone out of the house to vent to. 

Vent away brother

very happy that she is not giving you trouble about this. 

what exactly did you say that it is doing for you though? Does she think it’s just about davening with better focus and getting tips and tricks on how to learn better? 

Also what’s a shpilke

iLoveHashem247 wrote on 26 Feb 2023 03:16:

English equivalent “on pins and needles”

Gevura Shebyesod wrote on 26 Feb 2023 03:54:

Chap? 

Yeshayahu 41:6 wrote on 26 Feb 2023 01:50:

Sho! I couldn’t sleep…
BH! I’m so happy things worked out…H’ should help further!
Btw I’m all in about Purim party… but just watch out cause when I get drunk your wife will find out everything. But don’t worry there will be minyan there for…

iLoveHashem247 wrote on 26 Feb 2023 03:16:

A small Purim show. 

The GDL was planning to mess our Shabbos but then they found out about Chaptszem. 
Chap?

iLoveHashem247 wrote on 26 Feb 2023 03:15:

Lol not quite. She knows that the focus is kedusha struggles i just told her that i found it to be a forum for men to get support with any issues like parenting stress or general worries. She doesnt know much more than that.

Yeshayahu 41:6 wrote on 26 Feb 2023 05:18:

As a 22- year old Bochur, please take all this advice on dealing with parenting stress...

Wanna share some good news. Friday is often stressful by us, we're working on it but it could still be an ordeal. For the last month and a half or so, at the conclusion of a crazy Friday I would self pleasure before going to shul (great way to go into shabbos, no?). This past Friday was one of those crazy ones. I had a bit of a meltdown, a whole subject in itself, but as much as i wanted to release the stress with self pleasuring, I DID NOT! once again i felt empowered by the fact that we're in this together. 
8 days clean bH, lmaala min hateva!

Yeshayahu 41:6 wrote on 26 Feb 2023 18:02:

I want to repeat: "l'maal min hateva!", my friend, you are a serious inspiration! Keep posting and sharing your powerful words with us!

You are amazing! That takes a lot of inner strength, I totally get the hectic Fridays thing. Have lived that reality for years - but I’ve been working with HHM on planning ahead and working on our Fridays, and it’s been very rewarding. Feel free to pm to discuss

Having a hard time today..
I learn with a 9th grader by night seder in a local yeshiva. I missed a week when my wife had a baby, she actually lost a lot of blood, had to get a transfusion and needed more recovery time. My kids were away for 3 weeks so i didnt miss then. Then i missed when i went to pick them up. I just missed last night because my 3 year old has strep and my wife wasnt feeling well either.
This morning the 9th grade rebbe gave me a tongue lashing. He said I come only 15% of the time! (that would mean less than once a week, can any of the math geniuses here confirm that?) I tried explaining what was going on and he cut me off saying if a guy has a baby he can miss one or two MAYBE three nights...
The boy i learn with has social issues and he was actually with a different yungerman at the beginning of the year and it was a complete disaster because he was trying to "change" him to make him "fit in". Then he was switched to me and after a few days he was much happier. Because i respected him and didnt try to change anything. He still had many issues with other guys. The rebbe told me a while ago that the kid said he wanted to kill everyone including the rebbe, but that if rabbi "Yeshayahu" was there he wouldnt do it! Did he express any respect or appreciation that i was the only one who knew how to "deal" with this kid (nothing to deal with, just a little respect)? nope. How about the times i came during the afternoon or on shabbos when i didnt have to and wasnt getting paid? no mention. He doesnt know how to manage this kid, so if i dont show up hes at a loss of what to do. When i DO show up, he forgets that either of us exist. When im not there, he suddenly remembers that he has a difficult kid on his hands.
I tried challenging him on the 15% thing, and he cut me off again saying "i dont want to be midakdek on the numbers". WHAT??? if i came 85% of the time and he said 83%, ok thats not being midakdek, but to say something so outlandishly false is just completely disrespectful and hurtful.
Im sorry for venting, I dont know what else to do..