hey how you doin'?

I’m alive…
Hope you guys are good.
54 days of Shmiras Eynayim btw.

YeshivaGuy wrote on 05 Nov 2021 03:42:

THATS AN ABSOLUTE LIE. 
[sponsored by the Truth app]

You have hundreds, perhaps even thousands of SE days. So stop knocking yourself, cos you know where that gets you…

Markz wrote on 05 Nov 2021 04:11:

Thanks buddy, but that’s not what’s giving me a hard time. Things have been very difficult in other areas of life. But still, it’s nice to check in with you guys who I know care about me.

I am the victim of all injustice.
The world around stares at me and laughs.
And I, remain bound by my past and robbed of all present and future.

I wish you all a less torturous existence than my own.

Gn.

I'm so upset, I thought I was the victim of all injustice. Especially with Trouble around ...

anonymous.lost.everything wrote on 07 Nov 2021 04:37:

Well the good news is that it’s me. So you can rest easy now.
Its not right though, for me to vomit all my negativity onto you guys, especially since I’m not explaining anything at all.

Take care dear friends,

YeshivaGuy

I was joking (dry humor.) I got your pm. I think we should exchange phone numbers so you *can* vomit some of that horrible stuff. I mean it. Support groups are so you can get support, ie feel better.

YG,

Your "vomit" is music to our ears.
​You are a leibidike mesilas yesharim, and an integral part of many lives.

Stay strong, bro.

IMG

Have a Good Shabbos.
I can say no more.

keep it up we're rooting for you

Hope you all are well.
Good luck

Ps. I broke a streak of around 80 days with no bad vids a few days ago. Back on the bandwagon though.

YeshivaGuy wrote on 24 Nov 2021 03:41:

Great to hear from you YeshivaGuy. I hope the challenging situations you are going through are starting to improve. Wishing you much success in Torah, Kedusha, Health, Happiness, and everything else.

P.S. Maybe you could figure out how to drag Grant back

Captain wrote on 25 Nov 2021 14:55:

Thank you very very much.
In the “situation,” things have gotten worse but that’s progress- learning to feel past pain etc…
I can discuss more on PM whoever wants.

For whatever reason I’ve been in a hotel room myself since yesterday, and didn’t realize the prob of the tv…
Cumulatively I watched movies with porn in it for like 7/8 hours…
I stopped watching last night after the movie stopped and exited out somehow. Bh I took it as God saying “I give a damn about you” (pardon my French) so that’s good.
Pretty insane and scary how such explicit stuff barely even gave me an erection…

Was first time having my own hotel room so never thought of that. I gotta figure out how to avoid this problem in the future.
Whoever has experienced this and has an eitza, please lmk.

Anyway, trying to not let it get me down and to move on and enjoy this miny vacation.

Good Shabbos,

YeshivaGuy

Was feeling a lot of anger/anxiety this evening, a gaping hole in my heart getting ever deeper by the moment.
Tried calming down etc, didn’t work.
Saw bad gifs/masterbated.
I just want to feel good when I feel so so bad.
I hope to find a good group therapy to fill that void.

Layers and layers of tumas keri has drowned this miserable frail shadow of a man. 
Only silence is heard. 
For silence is all that I can say.
Sleeping now to numb the pain that I don’t feel, only to greet another day of false salvation and hope.

Enjoy your life,

Gn