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Make it to Yeshiva
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TOPIC: Make it to Yeshiva 6606 Views

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 26 Oct 2020 02:09 #356698

  • YeshivaGuy
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Shutting off my phone/cutting off from all technology etc for the next 2 days as a detox.
Will keep it in my friends dorm room.
Hope everyone stays well.
Will update y’all bezras Hashem upon return
Last Edit: 27 Oct 2020 23:55 by YeshivaGuy.

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 28 Oct 2020 00:06 #356769

  • YeshivaGuy
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51 Days clean BH.
Hope everyone’s doing well

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 28 Oct 2020 04:43 #356794

  • YeshivaGuy
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In bed now going to sleep.
Yetzer says “hey why don’t you masterbate? That’s geshmak!”
And I’m like “Nope.”

Gn

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 28 Oct 2020 04:47 #356795

  • Grant400
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YeshivaGuy wrote on 28 Oct 2020 04:43:
In bed now going to sleep.
Yetzer says “hey why don’t you masterbate? That’s geshmak!”
And I’m like “Nope.”

Gn

You are a mighty warrior!!! Thanks for sharing!! 

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 28 Oct 2020 17:31 #356820

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You are an incredible person. People of your caliber whole this world together. One of the holiest posts I have ever read. May Hashem continue to grant you strength

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 30 Oct 2020 00:11 #356885

  • YeshivaGuy
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It’s dinner, and I’m a shtikl bored.
The Yetzer offers his unsolicited advice to masterbate etc...
What a weird response to boredom.
Either way, I politely decline the offer!
53days clean BH

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 01 Nov 2020 00:34 #356934

  • YeshivaGuy
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Let’s call a spade a spade.
Masterbating feels geshmak.
Internet feels geshmak.
Aveiros with girls feels geshmak.

I agree with the Yetzer, it does feel geshmak.

But I’ve chosen to live an elevated life of true fulfillment and joy.
A life of Cheirus and meaning.
I don’t want the life that the Yetzer Hara wants me to have.
So I won’t take his advice.

Rather I want the life that Hakadosh Baruch Hu desires me to have.
And so I shall heed his words.

Hard? Painful? Annoying?
Sometimes, yes.
But it’s אמת.
And I cant bring myself to pursue a life of שקר.

 I remain, evermore bound and committed to this life of Avodas HaShem.
To a life of Dveikus and Ruchnius.
And I shall create a life of Kedusha v’Tahara regardless of circumstance.

But you come late to minyan/Seder sometimes, how will you live a life of kedusha- ur a faker!?

My response: I don’t care. The past does not define me. I have no choice. I know I’m not perfect. I know I’m not worthy to be an Oved HaShem. 
But there’s no alternative!

On Rosh Hashana I said to HaShem,
”HaShem, if you won’t allow me to have a year of Dveikus, Ruchnius, and Aliya, then take away my neshama. Don’t give me Chayim. Because I don’t want life if I won’t be connected to You.”

This mindset I maintain.
And I stand unequivocally devoted to a life of Avodas HaShem despite my shortcomings.

55 days Clean.
Gut vuch
Last Edit: 01 Nov 2020 00:35 by YeshivaGuy.

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 01 Nov 2020 04:54 #356939

  • Hashem Help Me
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For the record, self control is gantz geshmak too.....
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 02 Nov 2020 01:34 #356981

  • YeshivaGuy
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Almost fell today.
Was closer than I’d like...
Staying strong.
Time for NightSeder.
Take care

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 02 Nov 2020 06:24 #356988

Keep it up bro!! I like that "never giving up" mindset!
Joined as a single bochur, Bh broke free (but still on watch) by using the tools on this website, therapy but mainly through getting married. 

הנותן עיניו במה שאינו שלו, מה שמבקש לא נותנים לו, ומה שבידו נוטלים ממנה

(סוטה ט, עמוד א)


ולכן אל יפול לב אדם
וכו' גם אם יהיה כן כל ימיו במלחמה זו כי אולי לכך נברא וזאת עבודתו לאכפיא לס"א תמיד 
(תניא פ"כז)

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 03 Nov 2020 01:42 #357022

  • YeshivaGuy
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More taiva today...
Amazing how my Nekudas HaBechira seems to still be 50-50 despite my hard work...
Every day feels like I can go either way.
Every day I choose this life that ive chosen to live.
Confusing... I hope someday this will be beyond my Nekudas HaBechira and I  can move on to bigger things...

Anyway, time for NightSeder
See ya
Last Edit: 03 Nov 2020 01:45 by YeshivaGuy.

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 03 Nov 2020 05:13 #357034

  • wilnevergiveup
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Excuse me but fifty plus days clean in place of what was most likely a much more common occurrence simply means you are able to tell yourself no far more than in the past.
If that is not a reflection of your nekudas habechira moving higher then please explain to me what is.

Be honest with yourself, give yourself credit, the nisayon is not going to disappear, but being able to say no on a consistent basis is clearly a higher level even though the urges are still there.

Here is a very important yesod; the "bechira point" doesn't change our nisyonos, just how we react to then. The nisyonos will always be there the question is whether or not it's an option.

Keep pushing and keep inspiring!

All the best,
Wilnevergiveup
Check out My thread

Daily Dose of Clarity

(עשה רצונו כרצונך (אבות,ב:ד

Feel free to email me  wilnevergiveupgye@gmail.com

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 04 Nov 2020 19:22 #357082

  • YeshivaGuy
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Been following the election way way too much...
Trying to realize that even if ** ends up, chalila, losing- HaShem remains in control of the world. Of Israel, the economy, and society’s stability.
Klall Yisrael has survived and thrived under much harsher situations than what may, chalila, come to rise in the future.
Trying to have that Bitachon.

I really need to commit to disconnecting from the world of politics- of “cause and affect”
and connect to the world of ״נצח ישראל לא ישקר״

I hope to plug myself back into that world through continued Shmiras HaBris, Limud HaTorah B’hasmada, and cutting myself off from the toxic subconscious hashkafos that permeates secular society.

May we be zoche

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 05 Nov 2020 01:56 #357091

  • YeshivaGuy
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We’re friends here so I’ll be honest.

I feel gross, down, and like garbage.
Prob a lot cuz was up till 4am following the election which ruined my day.
Told my friend not to let me download news apps again.
Today was a bust.
Exhausted, edgy, and nervous cuz my lack of Bitachon with the election...
Shver sedarim etc etc

What’s the eitza? You guessed it!
Masterbate?! Bad vids? That will def make me feel better, right?

Nope.

Now I cut off from the politics etc but I’m feeling withdrawal...
I BH was never a guy to watch tv etc for many hours before.
So watching the news last night for 8 hours kinda fried my brain, Ive never had this before...

So ya, that’s my current matzav.
Brain fried, tired, feeling apathetic-like I can eat unhealthy or masterbate etc...

But hopefully after a good night rest I’ll be fine, and then there’s Shabbos...
We also have day 60 coming up bezras Hashem!

I just feel so gloomy, but I guess it makes sense, no?

Shkoyach
Last Edit: 05 Nov 2020 01:57 by YeshivaGuy.

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 05 Nov 2020 02:17 #357092

  • Markz
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I looked on the ballot and they had some strange names like Donald and Joe. 

Why was YeshivaGuy not one of the candidates on the list? I’d rather have voted for you!!
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