Read once, then minimize to save screen space.

Forum Overview

Post on the forum to get support, tell your story and reach out for help when feeling weak!

You will never be alone in this struggle again.

The GYE forum is anonymous platform of group support, and a life-line of chizuk for hundreds of people in exactly your situation. 

To use the forum you need to first become a member of the site, sign up here.

After signing up to the site, go to the forum, enter one of our boards and press "New Topic" to begin posting! 

Welcome, Guest
Welcome to our forum! Introduce yourself here (anonymously, of course) and get a warm welcome from the rest of the community!

TOPIC: My sad story 11683 Views

Re: My sad story 28 Aug 2018 15:23 #335071

  • Hashem Help Me
  • Current streak: 1009 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 1853
Chassidishe buchur wrote on 28 Aug 2018 04:31:
what do i do when were half way through elul and i fell almost every day of elul?


Maybe its time to speak with someone about this.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: My sad story 04 Sep 2018 05:13 #335265

its cool to see so many people helped by this site. but im still stuck. i'm not ready to talk to anyone. i'm ready to be in touch by email. anyone who thinks they can help me please send me an email chassidishebuchur@gmail.com

Re: My sad story 04 Sep 2018 13:17 #335269

  • cordnoy
  • Current streak: 147 days
  • NOW ONLINE
  • Moderator
  • I'm sailin', for I've got to be free
  • Posts: 11236
  • Karma: 516
Chassidishe buchur wrote on 04 Sep 2018 05:13:
its cool to see so many people helped by this site. but im still stuck. i'm not ready to talk to anyone. i'm ready to be in touch by email. anyone who thinks they can help me please send me an email chassidishebuchur@gmail.com

Just read thru this entire thread again. What I noticed was that you have not addressed or replied to anyone's comments at all. Yes, on page 2 you thanked people, but that's it.

I have been helped by this site. I have had email conversations, calls, whatsapp's, texts, and I even met about threeI minyanim of people. That didn't happen overnight; it was a slow process, but it began with engagin' in conversation, somethin' that you haven't done yet, but somethin' that I strongly encourage you to do.

YouI wrote in your first post that tanya says you can't do teshuvah on masturbation. I don't know tanya, but I was willin' to bet that no such thin' is said. Thankfully, I saw changin' wrote that, and it seems he even knows what's written there. Engage. Etc. Emailin' with one or two people might help, but communicatin' on the forum will work even more.

Godspeed to you
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: My sad story 04 Sep 2018 23:54 #335286

  • Markz
  • Current streak: 87 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 7162
  • Karma: 373
Chassidishe buchur wrote on 04 Sep 2018 05:13:
its cool to see so many people helped by this site. but im still stuck. i'm not ready to talk to anyone. i'm ready to be in touch by email. anyone who thinks they can help me please send me an email chassidishebuchur@gmail.com

Cord is 100% [Of course - what did you think???], but if you want some consolation, browse around and you'll discover and "see so many people on this site" still stuck and not ready to talk to anyone

I suggest you make a new group with these brothers in arms with the 1 pre-condition of no talking. As it's Elul, many are in any case practicing Taanis Deeboor so you'll get a large chèvre. Please keep me posted how you guys all do!!
My Story---------Dov Quotes


What works for me:
ForumInternet Restrictions




FREE LUST TRUCK TOWING
Click HERE to checkout;
100 Day Success Stories: cordnoy, Dov, Gevura and more...
• Awesome Threads Saved for You
• Cast Your Vote

GYE Plenty Solutions
➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk

➣ Nice Trucking Story

Re: My sad story 05 Sep 2018 02:57 #335289

I suggest you make a new group with these brothers in arms with the 1 pre-condition of no talking. As it's Elul, many are in any case practicing Taanis Deeboor so you'll get a large chèvre. Please keep me posted how you guys all do!!

Lol, good one markz!
Feel free to pm me, I'm a bochur, attend weekly live "SMART recovery" meetings.

הנותן עיניו במה שאינו שלו, מה שמבקש לא נותנים לו, ומה שבידו נוטלים ממנה

(סוטה ט, עמוד א)


ולכן אל יפול לב אדם
וכו' גם אם יהיה כן כל ימיו במלחמה זו כי אולי לכך נברא וזאת עבודתו לאכפיא לס"א תמיד 
(תניא פ"כז)

Re: My sad story 06 Sep 2018 12:05 #335355

  • lenegditamid100
  • Current streak: 1891 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Fresh Boarder
  • we want moshiach now!
  • Posts: 7
Hello to you all from kan tzivah
I relate to everything you all said.
This is a dangerous disease, but with a cure!
Proof to that is that I stopped and I'm clean for more then 28 months.
Before I stopped, I have been watching and needing to masturbate two the times a day.
I davened beavodah and still do. I was not a faker and I still I'm not. When I was misbonen and davened it was for real. I had chinuch from real mashpiim... But it didn't stop my sickness. 
Chassidus doesn't help someone with bipolar not with allergies.... So to with this.
I have a lot more to say, but gotta start my day
Feel free to email me or private message me.
Chassidus is raich, yiddishkeit is raich especially with being clean
Keep it up!

Re: My sad story 06 Sep 2018 13:22 #335357

  • mzl
  • Current streak: 28 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 996
lenegditamid100 wrote on 06 Sep 2018 12:05:
Hello to you all from kan tzivah
I relate to everything you all said.
This is a dangerous disease, but with a cure!
Proof to that is that I stopped and I'm clean for more then 28 months.
Before I stopped, I have been watching and needing to masturbate two the times a day.
I davened beavodah and still do. I was not a faker and I still I'm not. When I was misbonen and davened it was for real. I had chinuch from real mashpiim... But it didn't stop my sickness. 
Chassidus doesn't help someone with bipolar not with allergies.... So to with this.
I have a lot more to say, but gotta start my day
Feel free to email me or private message me.
Chassidus is raich, yiddishkeit is raich especially with being clean
Keep it up!

It doesn't follow logically. It's a proof that with your brain, if you do the things you did, you can stop. It's not a proof for other brains.

Re: My sad story 07 Sep 2018 01:14 #335371

  • lenegditamid100
  • Current streak: 1891 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Fresh Boarder
  • we want moshiach now!
  • Posts: 7
Could be, and could be not
There may be different opinions, and it's ok for you to disagree.

Back to my post from this morning:
I was on GYE for 7 years until I became clean.
Yes, seven years!!

I started to be interested in women at age 11. Started masturbating at age 14 and couldn't stop. I loved to daven and feel my emotions, but that did not help.I never knew that it is not ordinary to not be able to control when to masturbate and when not.I would have this problem for another long while, and wishing maybe my rabbi will broach the subject. Never happened.I fantasized daily. Until age 24. Sometimes just 15 minutes while others for hours.I was a popular bachur. Teachers liked me, and friends. But I always felt inadequate. Thought people only compliment to make me feel good. They don't really mean it.I felt like a hypocrite. This chassidishe bachur on the outside, full of yiras shomayim etc.. but with an uncontrollable sex drive in the inside.Who I'm I?Got an email account at age 20, and one month later I was hooked to porn.It killed me.I got to GYE pretty quick. They spoke about 12 steps, but I had all my ideas about it. Is it kosher? Even if it is, does it follow the same values as chassidus? (I'm Lubavitch btw).I found this other program. It helped me a little, but then realized it is really strong Christian. So stopped.Was in touch with several people. Each with different methods. But nothing helped in long term.At age 23 I still did not have fetishes (did not get aroused when seeing women on the street and more).Someone told me, "if you don't take care of your problem, it will progress". And it did.Needed to watch longer to get aroused, needed to change the style video, going from more aggressive videos, then to less etc. Always needed to change to get aroused. But always needed to continue, and could never stop.At age 27 I was married a few years, two children and a new job. But needed to masturbate two to three times a day! I stopped enjoying it. It became a necessity.

And then I hit bottom. 
Since that day I'm clean.I'm now sober since may 10 2016, Beis Iyar 5776.

Correct this is me, and everyone is different. At the same time, I have many friends who are clean and are made of completely different characteristics then me. They are cold, thinkers, non emotional, but Sober!!
I know the pain of living in the crazy porn world/masturbation. My heart is broken of just thinking how much you all are suffering. remembering how I felt. Lost, lonely, worthless and no hope.

Re: My sad story 07 Sep 2018 02:07 #335374

  • mzl
  • Current streak: 28 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 996
Still not convinced that it's a proof in the mathematical sense.

Re: My sad story 07 Sep 2018 02:23 #335375

  • lenegditamid100
  • Current streak: 1891 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Fresh Boarder
  • we want moshiach now!
  • Posts: 7
That's ok.
I'm not trying to convince people.
Some people may relate to my story.
If one does, then they're are simple methods to deal with it.
It works for many people. It mainly works for people who tried all other ways but couldn't stop (completely). 
If someone else who is clean for more then 100 days and says they have a way that works for them, it's worth hearing.

Mzl: maybe you can share with me the method that's keeping you sober? You shound like you are smart, capable and older--so probably clean. I would love to hear how you do it.

Re: My sad story 07 Sep 2018 03:54 #335379

  • Hashem Help Me
  • Current streak: 1009 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 1853
lenegditamid100 wrote on 07 Sep 2018 01:14:
Could be, and could be not
There may be different opinions, and it's ok for you to disagree.

Back to my post from this morning:
I was on GYE for 7 years until I became clean.
Yes, seven years!!

I started to be interested in women at age 11. Started masturbating at age 14 and couldn't stop. I loved to daven and feel my emotions, but that did not help.I never knew that it is not ordinary to not be able to control when to masturbate and when not.I would have this problem for another long while, and wishing maybe my rabbi will broach the subject. Never happened.I fantasized daily. Until age 24. Sometimes just 15 minutes while others for hours.I was a popular bachur. Teachers liked me, and friends. But I always felt inadequate. Thought people only compliment to make me feel good. They don't really mean it.I felt like a hypocrite. This chassidishe bachur on the outside, full of yiras shomayim etc.. but with an uncontrollable sex drive in the inside.Who I'm I?Got an email account at age 20, and one month later I was hooked to porn.It killed me.I got to GYE pretty quick. They spoke about 12 steps, but I had all my ideas about it. Is it kosher? Even if it is, does it follow the same values as chassidus? (I'm Lubavitch btw).I found this other program. It helped me a little, but then realized it is really strong Christian. So stopped.Was in touch with several people. Each with different methods. But nothing helped in long term.At age 23 I still did not have fetishes (did not get aroused when seeing women on the street and more).Someone told me, "if you don't take care of your problem, it will progress". And it did.Needed to watch longer to get aroused, needed to change the style video, going from more aggressive videos, then to less etc. Always needed to change to get aroused. But always needed to continue, and could never stop.At age 27 I was married a few years, two children and a new job. But needed to masturbate two to three times a day! I stopped enjoying it. It became a necessity.

And then I hit bottom. 
Since that day I'm clean.I'm now sober since may 10 2016, Beis Iyar 5776.

Correct this is me, and everyone is different. At the same time, I have many friends who are clean and are made of completely different characteristics then me. They are cold, thinkers, non emotional, but Sober!!
I know the pain of living in the crazy porn world/masturbation. My heart is broken of just thinking how much you all are suffering. remembering how I felt. Lost, lonely, worthless and no hope.

This post is a must read for any newcomers. Keep inspiring!
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: My sad story 07 Sep 2018 09:40 #335384

  • mzl
  • Current streak: 28 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 996
lenegditamid100 wrote on 07 Sep 2018 02:23:
That's ok.
I'm not trying to convince people.
Some people may relate to my story.
If one does, then they're are simple methods to deal with it.
It works for many people. It mainly works for people who tried all other ways but couldn't stop (completely). 
If someone else who is clean for more then 100 days and says they have a way that works for them, it's worth hearing.

Mzl: maybe you can share with me the method that's keeping you sober? You shound like you are smart, capable and older--so probably clean. I would love to hear how you do it.

I hear what you are saying. Just because it's no proof it doesn't mean it's meaningless. Your experience means something, but if other people think they can apply what you did and EXPECT the same results, they may be be disappointed. Then some people may conclude it never works, which would be silly. That's all I was saying.

Re: My sad story 07 Sep 2018 18:36 #335391

lenegditamid100 wrote on 07 Sep 2018 02:23:
That's ok.
I'm not trying to convince people.
Some people may relate to my story.
If one does, then they're are simple methods to deal with it.
It works for many people. It mainly works for people who tried all other ways but couldn't stop (completely). 
If someone else who is clean for more then 100 days and says they have a way that works for them, it's worth hearing.

Mzl: maybe you can share with me the method that's keeping you sober? You shound like you are smart, capable and older--so probably clean. I would love to hear how you do it.

Hey, what method did you use to recover?

Re: My sad story 14 Sep 2018 17:42 #335513

  • mzl
  • Current streak: 28 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 996
Ihavestrength wrote on 07 Sep 2018 18:36:

lenegditamid100 wrote on 07 Sep 2018 02:23:
That's ok.
I'm not trying to convince people.
Some people may relate to my story.
If one does, then they're are simple methods to deal with it.
It works for many people. It mainly works for people who tried all other ways but couldn't stop (completely). 
If someone else who is clean for more then 100 days and says they have a way that works for them, it's worth hearing.

Mzl: maybe you can share with me the method that's keeping you sober? You shound like you are smart, capable and older--so probably clean. I would love to hear how you do it.

Hey, what method did you use to recover?

I think we are piggybacking on someone else's thread. Some people get upset about it.

Re: My sad story 26 Sep 2018 03:22 #335777

It’s about time you get a kosher phone!
Time to create page: 0.68 seconds

Are you sure?

Yes