Hi guys.

I'm new here.
Dunno what to expect...
I've been having problems with shichvas zera since I was 12 yrs old, before I even knew what I was doing.
I have since tried numerous times to stop but never managed for more than a couple of weeks.
I'm now 8 years after I started, i have seen large amount of pornography, including some SSA material, and I don't know what to do with myself.
I constantly feel rotten, and I don't have a personal connection with my yiddishkeit.
 I'm holding at the last straw.
i hope this program will be able to help me, and I hope that I'll be able to stick it out...
all chizuk appreciated...
Thanks

Welcome to the forum. Stick around it's lots of fun!

Sorry to hear you're feeling down

What program do you mean?

I'm talking about the all gye programs.
joining up to the desperado group

Unfortunately I feel your pain. I think the most damage is done by the idea that if you do a lot of porn you cannot get up in the morning to go to shul, can't learn etc. But if you think about it it's precisely when you are at your lowest that Hashem is closest to you and the behaviors of a Jewish life are most beneficial.

הרוצה לטהר wrote on 10 Jun 2018 02:33:

That's awesome!

Some guys take a long time to figure out what they want / need - It looks like your Truck is well primed and ready to roll!

הרוצה לטהר wrote on 10 Jun 2018 01:21:

Of course, you have a real problem that all the chizzuk in the world will not solve. Also, it might not be an addiction at all, so I'd recommend not using that word so lightly about yourself. We will talk, iyH. 

Though chizzuk isn't what really helps in the long run, it sure is nice when great folks give it! And to be encouraged in the precious value of davening and other aspects of avodas Hashem by the good people here is a gift. Yivorech'cho Hashem, mzl!

And I hope we talk soon, rotzeh letaher.

הרוצה לטהר wrote on 10 Jun 2018 01:21:


Hey, welcome.

Your story sounds quite similar to mine...I can definitely relate to that rotten feeling, having no connection to yiddishkeit.
I'm just getting started on the road to real recovery but thank God I'm in a better place now than I was a few months back, and have high hopes for what the future will bring.
May you also get there soon, keep posting and stay connected.