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just trying to do the right thing
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TOPIC: just trying to do the right thing 32453 Views

Re: just trying to do the right thing 16 Feb 2018 16:45 #327058

  • Iampowerless
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Hi everyone who is ready for some Yankel erev shabbos thought's??  here it goes.........

One thing that catches my eye when i read people's posts, is that people who are looking for sobriety are very busy (and rightly so) with avoiding triggers, getting filters and going to the Gym Etc, but i don't see too many people talking about a tool called mindfulness (this tool and website was recomended to me by my therapist and i think it's a great tool) i've been using  this tool to calm myself when i'm feeling extremely anxious and stressed i lie in bed and start listening to some of this mindfulness audios www.excelatlife.com/downloads/relaxation/audios.htm and afterwards i feel extremely calm and able to just sit through my urges. again it's just another great tool in the sobriety puzzle! Let me know your thoughts on this tool. wishing everyone a clean and enjoyable shabbos

 Your Friend Yankel!
Important quote from Cordnoy
"The need is a perceived one. There has not been one reported case on these pages of a death occurrin' on account of not fulfillin' that need

“I avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward.” 

"My recovery must come first so that everything I love in life doesn’t have to come last."

My Story
                       

Yankel's Daily Inspirational Quotes
Last Edit: 16 Feb 2018 18:20 by Iampowerless.

Re: just trying to do the right thing 18 Feb 2018 07:26 #327098

  • Iampowerless
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Here is my present situation: it's 2:20 AM i can't fall asleep i am extremely stressed out.i tried listening to my mindfulness but it didn't really work. I left a long voice mail in hashem loves me mailbox.etc etc etc etc (you get the picture )

But regardless of my extremely uncomfortable situation and feelings that i'm facing now i realize masturbating and pornography will not help me in any way shape or form feel better rather it will cause me to feel really low and depressed about myself so i guess i'll just have to sit through my feelings as uncomfortable as they are and the good part to this situation i guess is that gam zeh yaavor!

 Lots of love your friend Yankel!
Important quote from Cordnoy
"The need is a perceived one. There has not been one reported case on these pages of a death occurrin' on account of not fulfillin' that need

“I avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward.” 

"My recovery must come first so that everything I love in life doesn’t have to come last."

My Story
                       

Yankel's Daily Inspirational Quotes
Last Edit: 19 Feb 2018 00:39 by Iampowerless.

Re: just trying to do the right thing 18 Feb 2018 16:03 #327107

  • chaimyakov
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I haven't read through your topic from the very beginning, so if I am repeating something I apologize, but I think it is something worth repeating never the less. 
For me, there are times when I am not able to fight for whatever reason.  Intellectually I know that acting out will not help me, but that is rarely enough for me to control myself.  What do I do, battle on in abject misery? No!  In SA it is termed surrender.  I say, out loud if possible, "Hashem, I am too weak to fight this on my own.  You are all powerful, so please take this away from me and destroy it and while You do so I will be hiding in the corner."  Usually that is all it takes.  Sometimes though, I have to make a follow up request(possibly/probably because I am really not surrendering). 
The challenge I face with this method, and some others, is remembering this tool is in my tool belt.  I must use the tool in order for it to help me.  A hammer left in my tool belt does not fix the nail sticking out of the floor.
Hatzlacha and Kol Tuv.

Re: just trying to do the right thing 25 Feb 2018 16:09 #327459

  • Iampowerless
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Hi everyone happy sunday!

Anyways, baruch hashem i've been trucking along pretty nicely lately and today i reached 62 days clean 
I've been thinking about Purim a lot lately, is it ok for me to get drunk or should i worry that if i'm drunk i won't be in the right state of mind which could cause a fall?? what are my fellow GYE friends thoughts on this topic??
Looking Forward to your replies
 Love Yankel!
Important quote from Cordnoy
"The need is a perceived one. There has not been one reported case on these pages of a death occurrin' on account of not fulfillin' that need

“I avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward.” 

"My recovery must come first so that everything I love in life doesn’t have to come last."

My Story
                       

Yankel's Daily Inspirational Quotes
Last Edit: 25 Feb 2018 16:10 by Iampowerless.

Re: just trying to do the right thing 26 Feb 2018 00:09 #327478

  • lifebound
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Wow, 62 days! That's over two thirds to 90, amazing.
Re: drinking, you're probably the best one to answer that...I would say there's no need to get blackout drunk if there's a chance you'll lose control.

Re: just trying to do the right thing 26 Feb 2018 02:01 #327498

  • ieeyc
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i wish you alot of hatzlacha on that question with drinking, there were times where i held myself back from drinking from this fear and fell anyway and there were times where i drank and fell , after i got sober,  or soberish, so hatzlacha and Daven to  Hashem that please whatever happens  let me remain clean  and get through purim clean , Hatzlacha!(and a freilichen Purim!)

לב  טהור   ברא   לי   אלקים , ורוח  נכון    חדש  בקרבי

  to all my friends who heeded my request  to be so generous and give me a negative karma  for the sake of me acquiring       
                                                . humility ,i humbly  thank you                                                                                                 

Re: just trying to do the right thing 26 Feb 2018 04:21 #327507

  • i-man
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Hmm this is really a situation where you have to know yourself and be honest with yourself.

Does alchohol make you feel more loose and hefker regarding this issue ? (for many it does)

Are you going to be around women and girls  at parties ,hanging out, wearing costumes  ect? 

as by  everything - the more the Kedushah the more the Tumah next to it so  yes Purim can be very challenging in this regard
kol hakavod that youre making the gameplan ahead of time 

Hatzlacha have an uplifting, clean, and fun purim!

Re: just trying to do the right thing 19 Mar 2018 07:38 #328541

  • ayidel
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Hi yankel there hasn't been an update in a while from you 
how's it going
it seems you're heading in the right direction
KOT
Last Edit: 19 Mar 2018 07:39 by ayidel.

Re: just trying to do the right thing 19 Mar 2018 14:34 #328554

  • Iampowerless
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@ayidel you are right i've been feeling pretty lazy lately and a bit depressed to put an update. but when i see others care i realize the importance of an update!
​B'h in regards to staying clean i hit 84 days, this Shabbos Shabbos Hagadol i'll iy'h hit 90 days clean so that is b'h great news.
in regards to my feelings and emotions there are still plenty of days where i could feel very low and depressed and anxiety. when i spoke to my rosh yeshiva last week he told me he feels besides for seeing a therapist to help you learn to "ride the waves and learn how to deal with emotions" which baruch hashem has taught me to be able to stay clean regardless of what i'm feeling and that acting out is not going to solve my problems, it's very important to make small lifestyle changes to try to add more meaning to your day. because therapy has thought me to survive but now i need to actually LIVE so i guess that's the direction my recovery has to head now!

 Love Yankel, Your Friend Who needs to start living!
Important quote from Cordnoy
"The need is a perceived one. There has not been one reported case on these pages of a death occurrin' on account of not fulfillin' that need

“I avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward.” 

"My recovery must come first so that everything I love in life doesn’t have to come last."

My Story
                       

Yankel's Daily Inspirational Quotes
Last Edit: 19 Mar 2018 14:35 by Iampowerless.

Re: just trying to do the right thing 19 Mar 2018 17:27 #328571

  • Markz
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iampowerless wrote on 19 Mar 2018 14:34:
@ayidel you are right i've been feeling pretty lazy lately and a bit depressed to put an update. but when i see others care i realize the importance of an update!
​B'h in regards to staying clean i hit 84 days, this Shabbos Shabbos Hagadol i'll iy'h hit 90 days clean so that is b'h great news.
in regards to my feelings and emotions there are still plenty of days where i could feel very low and depressed and anxiety. when i spoke to my rosh yeshiva last week he told me he feels besides for seeing a therapist to help you learn to "ride the waves and learn how to deal with emotions" which baruch hashem has taught me to be able to stay clean regardless of what i'm feeling and that acting out is not going to solve my problems, it's very important to make small lifestyle changes to try to add more meaning to your day. because therapy has thought me to survive but now i need to actually LIVE so i guess that's the direction my recovery has to head now!

 Love Yankel, Your Friend Who needs to start living!

My kind of guy ;-)

KOL!!
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Re: just trying to do the right thing 25 Mar 2018 04:19 #328887

  • Iampowerless
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A Gut Voch everyone baruch hashem i reached 90 days clean 

As i reach this milestone i wanted to sincerely thank all my GYE buddies that were there for me encouraging me and who have kept up with me through all the ups and downs that this journey entailed. I wouldn't have been able to reach this day without all of you! I also want to thank the GYE founders for creating this great website and tools!

I know that this is just the beggining and there will be many more stressful and tough fights ahead but what this 90 days have done for me is they showed me I COULD DO IT ODAAT. They have shown me it is possibly to stay clean! Looking Forward to many more clean days

 Love Yankel!
Important quote from Cordnoy
"The need is a perceived one. There has not been one reported case on these pages of a death occurrin' on account of not fulfillin' that need

“I avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward.” 

"My recovery must come first so that everything I love in life doesn’t have to come last."

My Story
                       

Yankel's Daily Inspirational Quotes

Re: just trying to do the right thing 25 Mar 2018 04:36 #328890

  • Gevura Shebyesod
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Mazel Tov KUTGW!!!
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל

And every day that you want to waste, that you want to waste, you can
And every day that you want to wake up, that you want to wake, you can
And every day that you want to change, that you want to change, yeah
I'll help you see it through...



My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends

Re: just trying to do the right thing 25 Mar 2018 06:34 #328897

  • ayidel
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WOW yankel great job on your first shot 
keep it up your a great inspiration and you seem 
to be solving the root of the problem to 

Re: just trying to do the right thing 08 Apr 2018 04:28 #329318

  • Iampowerless
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Ah Gut Voch my dear friends,

This is the hardest post i've ever written but i feel the most important tool for a healthy recovery is honesty so i'll be honest after 104 clean days and feeling very proud. I fell last night and this morning anyways the last 24 hours i've been on such an emotional roller coaster as many of you could imagine.......

Anyways i just had a great and honest conversation with my sponsor calmed myself down and I've reset my chart back to 1 and I'm ready to move past this fall back to being sober, because i can't afford going back to being an addict and now because of my 104 clean streak i know i could do it i just need to go back to using the recipe that got me 104 days clean so here i go ODAAT i'll get past this bump! I CANT AFFORD BEING AN ADDICT

 Love Yankel
Important quote from Cordnoy
"The need is a perceived one. There has not been one reported case on these pages of a death occurrin' on account of not fulfillin' that need

“I avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward.” 

"My recovery must come first so that everything I love in life doesn’t have to come last."

My Story
                       

Yankel's Daily Inspirational Quotes
Last Edit: 08 Apr 2018 04:31 by Iampowerless.

Re: just trying to do the right thing 08 Apr 2018 07:10 #329324

  • ieeyc
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youll do it again,bezras Hahsem, you really are an inspiration!

לב  טהור   ברא   לי   אלקים , ורוח  נכון    חדש  בקרבי

  to all my friends who heeded my request  to be so generous and give me a negative karma  for the sake of me acquiring       
                                                . humility ,i humbly  thank you                                                                                                 

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