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Hello 14 Dec 2017 03:38 #323738

  • today
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Hello, 
  I am a young teen struggling with inappropriate content (not porn) and associated frequent masturbation problem (on average 3 times a week), for at least 3 years. I view inappropriate contents daily. Usually it is just one stimulating image I come across on the internet by chance, and temptation will drive me to search for more inappropriate contents.  I'm starting to take on this issue seriously, making use of this site and following its suggestions. In the past I have tried to get on the right path but fell. Nonetheless, I think I, now with the guidance and resources from the site, can overcome it this time and live a healthy life, physically and mentally.

  PS: I used to watch porn but have completely stopped around a year ago
Last Edit: 14 Dec 2017 03:47 by today. Reason: Adding information

Re: Hello 14 Dec 2017 04:52 #323741

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today wrote on 14 Dec 2017 03:38:
Hello, 
  I am a young teen struggling with inappropriate content (not porn) and associated frequent masturbation problem (on average 3 times a week), for at least 3 years. I view inappropriate contents daily. Usually it is just one stimulating image I come across on the internet by chance, and temptation will drive me to search for more inappropriate contents.  I'm starting to take on this issue seriously, making use of this site and following its suggestions. In the past I have tried to get on the right path but fell. Nonetheless, I think I, now with the guidance and resources from the site, can overcome it this time and live a healthy life, physically and mentally.

  PS: I used to watch porn but have completely stopped around a year ago

Welcome to gye today (pun intended)
How did you manage that feat of stopping porn cold turkey?

Apparently many or most or all teens break free from such challenges with the help of a real person in their life - I believe yosef10 that recently joined is still struggling (defiantly)because he has no one to share his life with, so to both of you I suggest - please read the story which I host at the end of my signature  and please keep us posted!!
My Story---------Dov Quotes




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Re: Hello 14 Dec 2017 07:53 #323751

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Thank you for your reply and the story.
Coincidentally, I saw one of yosef10's post when browsing the forum earlier today before I saw your reply. 
How can I contact someone on GYE? I only know how to message someone when they are online. Do I talk to someone by posting on their introduction post in the forum?

Re: Hello 14 Dec 2017 11:06 #323754

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  Stopping porn: Actually I can't really remember exactly how it happened as it happened about a year ago but I will try my best to recall.
  My problem is too shameful to tell anyone and I think that external intervention from any person is unable to solve my issue permanently. Some rather trivial things: I did seek help from my mother (who caught me red handed) but I have always tried to keep it a secret for all other people. My mother agreed to not tell my father in exchange for me behaving well from that point onward (she understood that it is a shameful topic but overestimated the impact of revealing my secret to others on my self-esteem... ). She didn't really take any action except for calling me out of my room when I have been using the computer for too long ( I think it is because she had too strong an image of me being a good boy able to take care of myself.... and thought that the porn was accidentally opened). I have always been quick enough to close whatever inappropriate content I was looking at the moment she opens the door of my room.
  I think one of the biggest reason why I stopped porn is that I found greater meaning in things. I became more busy than ever when I entered high school. The busier schedule made me feel that there is something better to pursue in life than being content with the pleasure of porn. It was like someone knocked me awake. I realised that there are so many things in life and porn shouldn't be one of the most important things (It was still important to me but I wanted to get rid of it not viewing it for as long as possible). It was also the time when I started to think that masturbation and watching porn is wrong. There wasn't an instinctive sense of guilt but to me it was too off the path. I didn't feel that I was a normal person. I didn't feel insecure about my behaviour but I wanted to change for the better even though I felt that I couldn't qualify as normal anymore.
  Many people have the cold turkey syndrome because porn gives them unparalleled pleasure. After some time I got a little tired of porn (because to me they are repetitive). When I watched porn, I felt that it is a little "too much", too vulgar, not what the type of people I want to be in the future will appreciate.
  When I reached this part of the post I realised I didn't actually say what exactly I did, but it did explain my thoughts and motivation..... So these are the things I did that I think helped me to stop porn (After I wrote those things I realised that they are extremely ambiguous options. Those are the thing that I did that stopped porn for me. I am still struggling with masturbation):
  1 I found milder substitute for porn, such as pictures. Although it is still wrong, it provided a transition for me. Looking back I think having a transition is one of the most important things to do because it is simply too difficult (and unrealistic for most people) to suddenly become completely clean. The transition is from still porn (which I do not look at anymore) to fashion magazine style pictures to newspaper style pictures... ( I'm not sure if it's healthy but I think it's better than watching porn...) One thing to note is that I always had the tendency to search for more explicit things. I tried to overwhelm myself with milder content and use imagination to replace graphics...

  2  Stop at masturbation. I will try my best to take a rest after I masturbate. It's better than watching porn continuously. ( Few other things could stop me from watching )

  3I try to make my inappropriate behaviours less impulsive.  I try to insert more rules and conditions into my inappropriate behaviour to make it less primeval, more complicated and closer to what I think is real life . Porn is addicting because it is so simple and primeval. It pleases your instincts and triggers your impulses. I tried to make my instincts play a smaller role in my inappropriate behaviours. This makes it easier for reason to take control.  When I am lusting a women I saw on the internet, I will think of her as a person in real life who deserves respect. Commercial inappropriate contents eliminates the complexities of real relationships when selling imaginary sex to facilitate quick consumption. I lust less women on the internet when I think of them as real people. Also, when I think of pictures I saw as real people, their attractiveness is greatly discounted by the fact that they act in an untzneius way.

4 When I look at inappropriate content, I try to question myself why I am doing so, to call in my rational side and hopefully Yetzer Tov will take over.
Last Edit: 14 Dec 2017 15:09 by today. Reason: Improving accuracy

Re: Hello 14 Dec 2017 13:19 #323758

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today wrote on 14 Dec 2017 07:53:
Thank you for your reply and the story.
Coincidentally, I saw one of yosef10's post when browsing the forum earlier today before I saw your reply. 
How can I contact someone on GYE? I only know how to message someone when they are online. Do I talk to someone by posting on their introduction post in the forum?

There's a Small icon by the users name which is opens a Private Message to him - I assume you'd want to contact someone with decent sobriety over 100 days
My Story---------Dov Quotes




FREE LUST TRUCK TOWING
Click HERE to checkout;
100 Day Success Stories: cordnoy, Dov, Gevura and more...
• Awesome Threads Saved for You
• Cast Your Vote

GYE Plenty Solutions
➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk

➣ Nice Trucking Story

Re: Hello 14 Dec 2017 21:19 #323784

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Thanks for sharing. If you would like to share anything without the fear of shame or judgment there are many people here who can relate to you, who have been in your situation and would be happy to talk. As Mark mentioned you would want that person to be sober and safe. I'd be happy to speak with you if that was something you wanted. You can take a look at my thread below and email me if you wanted to reach out. My email is gomu2serenity@gmail.com. You can also use the private message feature on this site as pointed out above.  
Much Hatzlacha!

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--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: Hello 18 Dec 2017 19:16 #323890

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Welcome!  Check out the handbook.  Keep posting.
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