Growthoriented wrote on 28 Nov 2017 11:11:

I don't think you had another fall, I think you're still under the impression of your first fall. Don't consider it another fall until you're able to stay clean for a short while. In the mean time maybe restrict your self for a short while untill you get back on track so it shouldn't be so easy to fall again?
Every time I feel that I'm starting to fall I come here and read what other people have to say, from my experience it makes it much easier to overcome.

Spike Ed wrote on 26 Nov 2017 11:32:

Hey, If you're falling often, wouldn't that alert you to the fact that your car is hitting spike strips and it's about time you changed lanes and vehicle, so you can follow the successful Truckers?

Hey. With Hashems help I am back to almost 10 days clean, but I don't know how much longer I can last. Every day seems harder than the one before it, and I barely manage to hold myself back by telling myself that I will let myself fall tomorrow, that I will just stay clean for one more day. I feel like any day I won't be able to hold back anymore. I keep telling myself if I make it to 90 days it will be easier but I know that what I really need to do is make an actual change in my life. The problem is I don't know how, and I'm a little scared to try. 

Growthoriented wrote on 07 Dec 2017 13:22:

Growth is always scary especially when it has to do with our defects and character traits 
My way of doing it is to just jump in and do it.

B'Hatzlacha

Growthoriented wrote on 07 Dec 2017 13:22:

Have you tried the conference calls?

Do you have a partner you can call?

I would be interested in doing the conference calls but I am learning in yeshiva in Israel and the schedule and time difference makes it impossible. 
Can anyone tell me what the partner program is like? How are people matched up? 

I think the first approach ("I barely manage to hold myself back by telling myself that I will let myself fall tomorrow") is better than the 2nd ("I keep telling myself if I make it to 90 days it will be easier")  it's hard to tell yourself now that in 3 months it'll get better, but to push off for tomorrow is much easier.
You don't have to make a change in your life, all you have to do is what you're currently doing, the change will happen by itself.
Keep on! (You're a few days ahead of me, let's see who will win the race )

Hello Growth Oriented,

I am so impressed by your posts and your sincere efforts to rise up! Keep on being involved. My general advice would be just to focus on the day at hand, having a plan to be busy and do things that will steer you clear from potential triggers or what any potential issues (what an alcoholic would call a hidden bottle). Feel free to reach out at alwaysresilience@gmail.com just to shmuz or if I can be of additional help. Its important to know yourself so that you will rise and utilize this opportunity for growth to gradually become a greater and greater person. Keep on keeping on. You're a great person and Hashem and all of us love you unconditionally!

youcan wrote on 08 Dec 2017 01:34:

There is a vort which I am not sure whom it is quoted from (if anyone knows, please enlighten me).
Hashem Yisborach told Moshe, go out and battle Amelek tomorrow, צא הלחם בעמלק מחר.
The Satan tries to battle us with the claim of מחר to push off a good deed or kabalah for tomorrow. (Don't start learning tonight, wait for the next siyum hashas, etc...) We can fight him בתחבילותו using his delay tactics in our battle against him.
Hatzlacha Rabba!

youcan wrote on 08 Dec 2017 01:34:

I think we are saying the same thing. I am not telling myself it will be easier if I make it to 90 days as a tool to not fall. I am just telling myself the same as what you are saying that if I keep doing what I am doing change will happen by itself, just adding that it will apparently happen in 90 days. Even though I am saying this, I am not actually sure that change can happen just by holding myself back from what is bad without me doing something active.

By holding your self back you're changing your routine & will eventually become 2nd (3rd?...) nature. By doing something on the positive side you can make it easier & more productive.

You hit the nail on the head.  You can only white knuckle for so long.  Check out the handbook.  check out the "dov quotes" (link in my signature).  Check out Dr. Sorotzkin (article on acting out - also links to his site in my signature).  Change is scary, but ultimately worth it. NEVER EVER GIVE UP. Do what you know is right, not what you feel like doing.  Growth comes from doing the difficult things.  Keep it up my friend.  Keep posting.

I had another fall. I kept telling myself to wait one more day before acting out, but on Sunday it was very hard and on Monday I gave in. I managed to keep saying no all day but when I went to bed I could no longer hold myself back. I don't want to give up but I don't know how to stop myself.

I think part of the problem is that as much as I know what I am doing is bad for me, it hasn't actually made an impact on my life. Sometimes I am tired from being up at night and when I am bored I generally think about things that makes it harder to concentrate, but that is it. When I am telling myself to stop it is because what I am doing is an aveirah and because how it may affect my relationships in the future, but neither of these things feels real enough for me to really take back self control, only to push off my desires for a little bit longer. I just don't feel like I truly want to stop.

Hi, I'm in the same situation than you have a fall 2 days ago so obviously my advice isn't worth much but I think it makes sense.
Yes I had a fall, but what does it help me to think of it now? (except for making me weak so it'll be harder to get up). I know one thing; I came to this world for a reason, we have to fight for it. A fail is not a game over, you lost one battle but you have countless more to win. The more you win the more you fulfill the purpose of your life.
Also instead of focusing on the fall focus one hard time you gave for the lust to get you, you're a hero! You should be proud of your self!
Mr. Lust won't understand your logic claims, when your under attack logic won't work, maybe you should try other tools like taphsic etc.? (I know I have to & I will iyh)
And again, don't try to gain control over your lust just fight & believe that change is happening.
Good luck!