Welcome!  First of all, you have one addiction with 4 parts.  All 4 are unhealthy ways to escape.  These are just 4 unhealthy solutions to one problem (whatever your particular problem is).  

Second of all, your path to recovery will not start with finding out why it is wrong.  Recovery usually starts when it is ruining your life enough that you "cannot" continue.  It just hurts too much.  After some time in recovery, you will not even care if it is right or wrong.  You will just know that it is damaging and you cannot afford to do it any more.

Keep posting.  You are taking positive steps.

So my wife and I had an argument last night.
   She wanted to have sex.   
I Did not.   

Long form.  
One of the ways for me to get interested in Sex is to get my juices flowing during the day.  In the past  i would ready  stories,  and sometimes masturbate but often would wait  until i could be with my wife.  But now that Im trying not to that.    My  interest  in sex also  goes down.  This has happand in the past and is one of the large stumbling blocks that i am having.

mystory wrote on 18 Oct 2017 09:00:

Oh no.
Do you see a marriage counselor?

We used to see one.  
She stopped.
 I kept on seeing  the counselor a few more times but then I stopped.

Is there anything your wife can do to "get your juices flowing?"

gibbor120 wrote on 18 Oct 2017 15:55:

Gibbor - are they not simply flowing the wrong direction, and its probably upto the man to change course

One other thing - sex is a bonding experience. It's highly probable that the less the wife is fulfilled, the more she may want intimacy, as it's the bond she's looking for - a mate - and she's not finding it easily at all.

And often the more sober the guy is, the bond improves - Make sense?

mystory wrote on 18 Oct 2017 09:00:

Hard to comment without knowing more info. Probably your wife wants intimacy. Why dont you give her that and if the "juices dont start flowing" skip the sex part?    Probably it would be very wise to reach out and speak to someone about this situation.

Markz wrote on 18 Oct 2017 16:29:


Very Possible.