Hi GYE guys. Some of you may remember me. I haven't been on the site in well over a year. I wasn't ready to be on the site anymore. I went through periods of ups and downs. Some very low points. I strengthened my personal relationship with my rebbi and got some professional help. This was all since I stopped using the site. Now I'm done with yeshiva for good. I have a job and am planning to go to school soon. I chose to try out the site again, at least the forums, to have some extra social connection. I realize not all of the site's resources are for everyone but the forums are great. I hope to use this to strengthen my life. 

Welcome back!

Welcome back!

Hi Guys. Just checking in. 
I recently got into "mindfulness". Not really into it just trying it out. My counselor, who is frum, told me to check it out a while back. Only really started now though. 
I'm not married to it but I kinda like it. It's definitely calming. I know it's one of those new age things, but the principles are very Jewish. 
Are any of you into it? What do you think ?

abd297 wrote on 25 Aug 2017 02:15:


Over the past two years, I've spent many hours learning about DBT. One of the main points in DBT is mindfulness. It's been very very helpful for me & even though I'm not currently in a DBT group, I think a lot of the DBT has been ingrained into my brain.

Very interesting. I had to look up what DBT was. I see that it is a form of CBT. My counselor and I were using CBT for the most part. I understand how mindfulness can be a major part in these types of therapies.

Good Shabbos guys. It really is great to be back among friends. Thanks

abd297 wrote on 25 Aug 2017 11:54:

I would say that CBT is more well known than DBT. 

Definitely true. I had to look up what DBT was because I had never heard of it. Seems like they are similar in principle though. Basically changing the way we think and feel then act.

Hey guys. I've been having strong lust the past few days. I haven't watched porn or masturbated in over two weeks and have been feeling pretty good. The past few days have been tough though. I had a wet dream last week that definitely didn't help things. A lot of random triggers all around too. All that together with some stress and bad feelings and here I am. I feel confident that I won't fall in the very near future and I'm taking it by the hour.

I'm scared to fall because I'm a perfectionist. Once I fall, I'm going all out. Binges and more intense things. It'll probably last a week or two until the intensity wears off. That's the cycle I have gone through for years. And if I really don't care then, it may take more than a few weeks. Trying not to fall back into it. 

Keep it strong!

abd297 wrote on 29 Aug 2017 16:45:

Abd, I feel confident that you will fall in the near future (Im a non prophet org)

Unless you do something about it

Perhaps it doesn't bother you too much if your life is on a spiral?

I'm glad you said that. Let me clarify. I only said the "spiral" as an acknowledgment of what can happen. Not what I am in right now unless I give up. I'm not about to do that. I am taking it hour by hour because I have stopped trying to see the future. I am in a decent place now. I am working, learning, and trying to enjoy my life in the moment. I am active in my fight against lust. I just needed to speak my mind about how I feel today. 

abd297 wrote on 29 Aug 2017 17:37:

Dunno why I never thought of this before. When we're in school, every so often there's a fire drill. We all practice adhering to a specific plan should there ever be a fire. Some families may have a similar plan at home. When we fall, there's an inferno, especially if we'd completely let loose for a week, or a month.. What if we make a plan. A fire drill, for when (if) we fall. Would that help stop a truck stuck in downward spiral?

That's an excellent question. If we would just ask ourselves that, many of us might have an easier time after a fall. That's obviously only if he planned correctly. I think the reason why I never did this is because I almost wanted to fall. I would get closer and closer to falling without actually doing anything so when I would be in a situation where something really came up it would almost be a relief. I can finally have what I wanted and not feel so guilty about it. That's the mind game that I have played many times. Without this game going on, a proper plan before a fall would be very beneficial.

Thanks for the insight.