I'm 23, married 3 years this October with 2 girls. I have tried to stop many times, once for even over 100 days when I first got married and my wife was pregnant with our first, but had a relapse that sent me spiraling. I've had this struggle since I was 13, but never tried to stop till my marriage. Until the 90-chart with GYE, any relapse would destroy my life, but I can't make it more than 90 days...my longest recently being 30 days as of a week ago. Now if I relapse it's not so hard to get back on track. Due to my work (graphic design for business signs, I sometimes stumble across non-tzniyus images, which is of course a huge trigger. Sometimes I pass, sometimes I fail. I'm honest with my wife, I have blocks on my phone, tablet, and webchaver on my computers and phone. Once a trigger starts though, it can be hard to fight, and for some reason, if I get triggered too far, it seems like nothing is "too bad" for me to look at, and I can almost always find a way, even if it's using one of the tablets we have here at the office.

Welcome,
Sorry to hear about your struggle.
There are other tools to help you stay clean

growingdaily wrote on 19 Jul 2017 22:52:

Welcome.
What does your wife say all about it

I relate to the non tznious images popping up. I am also in a similar situation. I usually bookend with a fellow program member when i go on the site and ask God for help. 

I also have tried stopping many times. In fact, I stopped many times. But could never stay stopped until i realized that i was ultimately unable to stop. I, on my own, couldnt stop. I tried a lot of different things even posting on this forum but for me, it wasnt enough. I needed more.

growingdaily

You mention having a relapse which as sent you spiralling.
I know exactly what that is like.
I had a relapse about 10 days ago and since then I have struggled so much.

It is a trick of the Yetzer Hara.
It tries to make you feel low so that you feel removed from Hashem.

Being aware of this is half the battle.
The other half of the battle is about distracting the Yetzer Hara...so fill your time with study, friends, family and enjoyable activities.
Be nice to yourself, make yourself happy.
It provides more defence against falling.

growingdaily wrote on 19 Jul 2017 22:52:

Welcome GD

In a way I'm glad I didn't ultimately follow the graphic design route. But it was a big passion for me. So I can relate.

Welcome to the forum
A great place to grow daily if you look around at other post, we all struggle with similar situations.

My wife understands, she had a struggle herself when she was around 12 years old, and she appreciates that I'm honest. We've had to have a lot of long hard talks though about how it has nothing to do with her "not being pretty enough," and she understands. It can still be emotionally hard for her sometimes though, especially if I get home late from work, and I tell her that that's the reason why. :/

I've got to say, I was a little nervous posting, or being involved at all in chats/forums/etc., even though it's anonymous, but seeing other people with similar problems, standing together, giving each other chizuk....it's really encouraging. Thanks everyone

Welcome!  You are fortunate to have an understanding wife.  This can strain and even ruin your marriage.  Do you have anyone you can discuss this with?  Therapist, rav, friend?

Kein ayin hora, she's a huge blessing!

And no, I really don't. I mean, my Rabbi does know, and I have a great relationship with him, but not one where I generally "chat" with him about anything like this. He's the one I'm accountable to via webchaver, but other than that no. I'm trying to look for a partner in the partner program, just havent gotten one yet.

If your rebbi knows and you have a great relationship with him, what is the problem?  Usually, people say, my rebbi doesn't know.  What will he think of me...

Your rebbi does know and apparently you are not worried about what he will think of you (which is very highly, I'm sure).

Welcome to the GYE forum. I like your sincerity and honesty. Keep searching around the site and using the tools and see how things work out. There is no one way for everyone and people have different kinds of struggles. I think the best advice I could give to someone here is to keep an open mind and be cautious about people giving out advice including me. Realize that there are two types of advice. One type is where I give you good advice about I think makes sense and the second type is where I share my experience and and share about something that worked or didn't work in my life. Oh and by way there is hope friend. 

serenity wrote on 26 Jul 2017 01:55:

Perhaps there's a 3rd type of advice, which includes both of the other two types of advice. It is not a stretch to say that Serenity is sharing this last sentence with you because both
A) he thinks it's true, &
B ) in his personal experience, he's discovered this to be true