Hello there,
Two days ago, I decided that I must put an end to it. And I join GYE - again.
I tried two years ago - but failed. I do not know how, but this time it will be for good.
I come back to GYE because - although I failed last time - I truely feel that this place is my best chance to succeed.
I am a sex addict - for the last 36 years...
I've done many wrong and shameful things - nothing illegal (by common law) but certainly immoral.
This has caused me much harm along the years, I am painfully aware of that. But that's it, I really want to stop now and discard completely that side of me - concentrating on the many good things in my life.
I am otherwise happily married with a wonderful wife. I have 6 marvelous kids, all succesful in their various activites. One grandson who of course is the cutest, smartest, most succesful kid on earth.
I have a great job, a great house, a great community! Everything is just perfect in my life except for my addiction that shades my entire life with a grey veil. 
Before joining GYE this time - I severed all the ties I had with this other self. Deleted the accounts and the email addresses I used for that, all materials that could still be around, removed the problematic apps from my phone.
Now, the main question is for how long will it last? This is why I decided to have a more active presence on GYE. My first step is to ask to be part of a mini-group hoping that the direct link with people having similar challenges will help me over time.
I shall see what tools proposed here on GYE will be the most helpful.
B"H I will succeed... for good!

GYEBen wrote on 11 Jul 2017 07:34:

Welcome back.
Get yourself a partner, start reading through the manual here and join the duvid chaim talks daily and the dov talks daily.
Since you have identified yourself as a sex addict, reach out asap to dov - his email is all over this site, and speak to him and get onto his desperado calls.
These firm steps will get you on your feet again and moving in the right direction for good, one day at a time.
Harbeh haztlocha!

Thanks for your welcome and advice. 
I found a partner and asked Dov to join the Desperado calls...
Feeling great about it too!

GYEBen wrote on 11 Jul 2017 07:34:

Welcome brother!!

You are taking impresssive steps!

Since you're an old timer I'm taking the liberty to comment, and please let me know if I'm off target

I did not highlight parts of your post, but it seems you are Trying to go this yourself
You didn't ask for help, although GS very kindly offered

Part of recovery is surrender, which I believe can also be used in surrendering our self medication and letting sanity into our lives.
Gye has all the meds needed for mads like me

I wish you success!!

Hello Markz, thanks a lot for your wishes of success.
I welcome any comment, from any good willing person...
Surrendering, Bitul, seems to be the recipe for solving many many issues of the modern man... And by modern man - I mean Me!
This makes room for a lot of good things to enter my life.

Welcome back
It should with a lot more success.

Good luck GYEBen.

I too deleted all my email accounts, apps and so on that I used to view porn.
I find it helps but it is not the main remedy.

The main thing is to identify triggers which get you into the emotional state of lowness where you succumb to lust.

Obviously viewing porn is a trigger for most people, but there will usually be a motivating factor which makes you need to see that porn.

Mine is feeling low, through being one or all of the following: 

Hungry
Angry (Resentful or Hurt)
Lonely
Tired

HALT.

Hello Colin,
You certainly are right. I mentioned these actions because they concretize the decision I took and the immediate actions that followed that decision.
Certainly a lot of work is yet to be done to identify the triggers that might make me fall, and deeper than that the original reasons that led me to this sad situation.
I wouldn't like to dig much in my past to find hidden traumatism or unsolved relationship issues with whomever - I strongly believe in positive thinking and concentrating on the good to fight back the bad.
The triggers I must identify in order to be ready to react when they occur -
At the top of my head I would mention:
- Frustration - when I get stuck in the middle of something and I am unable to continue according to my plans... especially if this was caused by someone else.
- Anger - after a stressfull situation, for instance with my wife - but not only
- Boredom - well... this is an excuse since I always have something to do, something to learn, something to read... but manytimes it became an easy getaway...
- Guilt - this is tricky. After a fall... i feel guilty - and this leads to another fall...

Well... still a lot of work to do on this reflection.

Thank you sooo much for being a trigger for something positive!!!

Good luck to you too Colin! 

Hey Colin!
Just after writing my answer to you, I saw this article:
guardyoureyes.com/component/zoo/item/understanding-triggers-in-pornography-recovery
and it is just on the point!!!
It is so comforting to understand that:
a - what happens to me happens to others - in exactly the same way
b - there is a way out!

Welcome again!  Check out the dov quotes link in my signature.  Maybe join a phone call.  Keep posting.  It is important to connect.  Do you have anyone in "real" life you can confide in?

Welcome. You write honestly and courageously. Stay connected with the oilam here and iyh you will get better. If you are ready, start speaking to real people. It works. Hatzlocha.

GYEBen wrote on 11 Jul 2017 07:34:

Welcome Ben.
What a great first post.  I relate very much to your situation and your commitment
I acted out for more than 30 years before getting sober.
I have been in recovery for over 7 years now, and I just want to say one thing.

I don't think we can "discard completely" this side of us.  I think it will always be a part of us.
What I mean is the pull will always be there.  Stronger or weaker, but there.
What can be discarded is our acting out; our giving in; our letting it control us.
Lust will always be with us, but we can surrender it to Hashem.

I don't in any way mean to be negative.
But it's not healthy to have unrealistic expectations.

This is all probably what you meant anyway.

Much Hatzlocha,
Alex

The 3 weeks are a sad time for the Jews

But today is a happy day because Alex is here hurray

GYEBen

Thank you.
That article is excellent, I can really relate.

Our answer is so much about how we react to the triggers as well as avoiding them.
In fact, we can only avoid some of them, because things such as work troubles or relationship troubles are an almost inevitable part of life.

As for delving into one's past, that is a personal decision.
It has helped me, but it is not for everyone.

Also, I really relate to you writing about how when you fall, it is likely you will then fall again soon.
I have looked back and seen that I am clean for a couple of months, then I usually fall, and then fall again within a few days.

I read somewhere there is a reason for this.
The Yetzer Hara wants us to fall not as an end in itself, but because it knows we will feel low after a fall.
Because it knows if we feel low, we are less likely to do a Miztvah than if we feel joy.
So it knows we feel low after a fall, and so then feel we have little to lose by falling again and again.
It is a trick of the Yetzer Hara, a negative cycle.
Which we can break for sure, and better still, use our awareness to react positively to triggers so that we avoid the fall in the first place.

Hello Gibbor,
Thanks for your welcome, I really find this community a great place to be.
I am i contact with Dov to join his calls. I also got me a partner...
So... the support seems to be really strong. And writing here on the forum is a great help to.