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TOPIC: My strugle 1090 Views

My strugle 28 Jun 2017 02:44 #316264

Hi,
I am a married guy who has struggled with viewing inappropriate material on the internet for many years as a single guy. I pulled my self out of this addiction by firstly genuinely asking Hashem for help. I hated the way I felt about my self and decided I had to change. It has been a process of growth and change for many years now, and I've had times of real yerida and strugle  and times of inspiration and growth. Being engrossed in a daily schedule of yeshiva away from home made things more manageable. But when I'd come home to visit the strugle would become unbearable. I fell so many times, until I finally told my parents of my strugle and of the importance to have a filtered internet. They were so happy to help. I also had the internet removed from my phone. Now I'm married and have made sure not to have any access to even filtered internet without my wife near by. She is so supportive of me in my struggles. Now my strugle is slightly of a different nature. Thank G-d I have the internet piece under control, but the challenge of living in America where people walk the streets in the most immodest way, makes the strugle so hard. I sometimes feel like I can't go 10 feet without seeing a lady dressed inappropriately. I feel so powerless in this area. And even in religious circles, expecially at weddings and Shabbos, women dress up in their finest making it very difficult not to look.
I need guidance in this area... 
thanks

Re: My strugle 28 Jun 2017 03:15 #316268

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Welcome to GYE. Very impressive how you overcame difficult challenges. We are here to help. Two ideas, One, say a special tefilla before you go on the street that Hashem should protect you. Secondly, either take off your glasses or look at the floor. (As long as you are not driving....) I have friends who are not very chassidish or yeshivish who do this and have excellent results.
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Re: My strugle 28 Jun 2017 03:30 #316270

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Re: My strugle 28 Jun 2017 03:52 #316273

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Hay! You did the right thing, hang around here, we will help you!
let me tell you, i was in the same shoes as you, i just couldn't resist not to look on every lady passing me, and on the Jewish well dressed more then on the none jewish less dressed, but im clean of that for more then 83 days, and what i do is, im looking on the floor, and not like a maniac, im doing it in a very normal manor, lately im walking more to the side of the parked cars, and im reading all the license plates, so its not that obvious, it helps, just dont look around, yes, when i drive, i have a big problem, and its tough, but i can tell you, that in the last 83 days i can say, that i maybe looked on a handfull ladys on the street, and yes, im proud about it.. not ashamed. Be proud too about your self, and copy me.
My email:jacdoja@gmail.com
My threads: my long נסיעה of almost 30 years ~ My Book of Business ~ My Upcoming Dilemma

להטות לבבנו אליו ללכת בכל דרכיו ולשמר מצותיו וחקיו ומשפטיו אשר צוה את אבתינו
כי עיקר מציאות האדם בעה"ז הוא רק לקיים מצות ולעמד בניסיון,  והנאות העולם אין ראוי שיהו לו אלא לעזר ולסיוע בלבד לשיהיה לו נחת רוח ויישוב הדעת למען יוכל לפנות לבו אל העבודה הזאת מסילת ישרים
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