bear wrote on 28 Jun 2017 20:14:

The iPod has an anti ballistic system
Its gonna win any war sooner or later
Maybe fight with your sister...

Im sorry to hear about your fall

dms1234 wrote on 28 Jun 2017 22:46:

I do not know. 
Alot of the enemies are caused from school, tests, and other things I have to get done; and also contributing is that I am not in a great set up right now. The challenge is the stress is not going to go away until I get all the work done. So I am not sure how I can free myself before i finish all the work. 

Am I understanding your question correctly ?  
Do you have any suggestions ?
Thanks

Markz wrote on 28 Jun 2017 23:46:

Thanks for the advice. I actually asked my sister if I could put a filter on before, and she said yes. The problem is that her ipod is sort of broken and I cant do what it would entail to put a filter on it. 

Not sure if this is a bad way to look at this, or if this is a bad source to get inspiration from. but my reaction to the ipod was I was originally always stressing about it. but one night i was skimming through 7 habits of highly successful people. and he mentioned that one should focus on what is inside his locus of control , and not spend time trying to fix things that are outside his locus of control.  So I figured putting a filter on my sisters ipod that is broken is outside my locus of control, however putting filters on my stuff, and trying to work on myself to fix up my shmeras einayem and other challenges is within my locus of control. The world is full of challenges, there will always be billboards, immodestly dressed women, and other challenges that I can not prevent. but what I can do is learn how to deal with the challenges. 

I agree when you say the ipod is a hard target to hit. Though, I think the Taphsic will work against the ipod. (taphsic lead me to over 140 days clean last summer but i stopped using it , because it incredibly scares me. it is playing with fire. I think my high risk point will be not while I am using the Taphsic against the ipod. But after I stop( if i stop) using Taphsic.)

What are your thoughts?
Thanks

Great! We are getting places. It seems that you have a lot of fear! Is that correct? "I am afraid i wont pass this test" I am afraid i will not get this assignment done"

I completely relate. When i was in school and also after i was VERY stressed. And i hated it and i still hate it when i have to get things done its a nightmare for me. So much stress. so much fear. Why cant it get better? Finishing the work helped for that particular thing but then the next time around the same thing happened. Sounds like hell doesnt it?

dms1234 wrote on 29 Jun 2017 16:47:

Thanks DMS1234. Well said, I completely agree. I hear your point, you finish one thing but the next is on the way. what do you recommend to combat this?

In regards to my sisters ipod, I do not think there is anything I can really do about it. But the truth is there are other traps in the house that do not have a a filter/fence on them. Markz your post convinced me that I have to do something about the other triggers. These other traps have an anti ballistic system that I can have someone destroy. I need to give them the assignment. Though the ipods all i can do is keep shooting at it, tell I make it past the anti ballistic system. 
Thanks for the encouragement Markz. 

I suggest a fear inventory.

1. What am I afraid of?
2. Why am I afraid?
3. How has self-reliance failed me?
4. I ask God to remove my fear
5. Direct my attention on what He wants me to be

For example: 
1. I am afraid that somebody will find out i am a sex addict
2. Because then they will think less of me
3. I cant control how others think of me, I cant control that i am a sex addict
4. God please remove my fear
5. God wants me to be accepting that I am a sexaholic and to accept myself for who i am

I highly suggest writing it down. This is from the big book, pg 68

1. I am afraid I will not accomplish my goals as well as possible.
2. Because than I will not maximize on my life. 
3. I am not infinitely wise or talented, I am fallible. 
4.God please I should not worry, about things that are best not to worry about.
5.God wants me to do my HIshtadlus, and recognize the rest is up to him. 

bear going to school was always a source of anxiety to me. 
Then one day I sat down and thought about it. Many less capable than me have succeeded.
I must approach school like any challenge. Daven to Hashem and then GET TO WORK.
make a list of what needs to be done.
make a quick game plan
get moving on fulfilling the plan 

I am trying to make a new commitment. I think writing it here will make me more committed. I need to learn to watch my tongue. I need to stop talking about shmutz, I need to acquire a loshon nakie. 

I am not sure if talking about shmutz has lead me to watch shmutz, though it definitely would not surprise me if it has. Regardless, I should be battling shmutz on all fronts. Eyes, mouth, and all.  

bear wrote on 02 Jul 2017 04:28:

Why not write a short list on apiece of paper. Make it a daily ritual to look at it and see if you have been loyal to it. 
​Sometimes just writing it with no accountability gives us a false sense of succeeding.

Thanks for idea Yiraishamaim! I think I am going to use chains.cc/ to keep track.

bear wrote on 02 Jul 2017 04:28:

The seforim hakedoshim (talmidei Ba'al Shem) bring numerous times that keeping a clean mouth helps with shmiras ha-bris. They even term it that the bris ha-loshon is mechuvan (parallel on the body) with the bris ha-maor. You should have hatzlocha. Yidden always prided themselves on speaking in an elevated fashion. "an aidele shprach". There are many examples in Yiddish where issues are referred to in a cleaner way. Example, in Yiddish instead of asking where the bathroom is, one asks "vi geit men arois" - where does one go out (being that the restroom used to be outside the house). The Meor Vo'Shomesh says that the "lo shinu es leshoinom" of bnai yisroel in mitzrayim cannot mean they didn't speak the mitzri language being that they were slaves. Rather it means their clean language did not change. They were careful with all inyonim of speech. The sefer Meor Eynayim spends an incredible amount of time demanding shmiras ha-dibbur......

bear, kutgw

In the Torah as well.

Noach

Pesachim