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TOPIC: MY PATH TO SANITY 78988 Views

Re: MY PATH TO SANITY 31 Jan 2021 15:38 #362341

  • Markz
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lionking wrote on 31 Jan 2021 14:29:
Friday was a really not good day. I definitely wasn't living life. I was tense and stressed and screamed at my kids. Then I was feeling guilty for doing that. It was a roller coaster of emotions. 
Before Lecht Tzinten, I made a kabala to try to be better. I think I was mostly successful over Shabbos.


Looking forward to a better week.
Gotta live...

Mrs Lionking. 
We are glad to hear you calmed before you lit the Shabbat Candles, and your emotional rollercoaster calmed somewhat.
Just next time if you need to let it out on the kids, please! Ok? It comes straight through the walls and it disturbs our tranquility. So find a different way to let it out. 
oh, and it would be nice if you asked your husband permission before using his device and posting on the men’s forum. 

Actually maybe ask him for help, you know. 
Like how to live less anxiously and not have to rear those cute lion Cubs with your growl. 
And how to stop working like a donkey 24/7. When the day ends, it’s over. Did you forget? Lions sleep 20 hours a day. How can you expect to be calm if you’re acting so unnaturaly. 

Oh and best regards to the King, I haven’t seen him in a while...
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Re: MY PATH TO SANITY 31 Jan 2021 16:09 #362345

  • lionking
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Markz, you are too funny. I burst out laughing out loud. Or as the kids these days say "RFOL LOL!!!!"

Roaring From Our Lions Laughing Out Loud.

I meant before my wife tzinted lecht and I run off the shul to let my wife deal with the aftermath of my outburst. I felt it was my duty to calm the kids down and make up to them so she doesn't have to spend over an hour with kvetchy grumpy kids. 
My email address is: growinghigher613@gmail.com

Re: MY PATH TO SANITY 31 Jan 2021 19:07 #362370

  • hakolhevel
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lionking wrote on 31 Jan 2021 14:29:
Friday was a really not good day. I definitely wasn't living life. I was tense and stressed and screamed at my kids. Then I was feeling guilty for doing that. It was a roller coaster of emotions. 
Before Lecht Tzinten, I made a kabala to try to be better. I think I was mostly successful over Shabbos.

Looking forward to a better week.
Gotta live...

Its a line I've been seeing here recently, about the need to live life.

What exactly is living life?
My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)

My other Thread: My Daily Inspiration

I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash

A bit of honesty and less over confidence might help me - Imperfection

Re: MY PATH TO SANITY 31 Jan 2021 19:38 #362373

  • grant400
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Hakolhevel wrote on 31 Jan 2021 19:07:

lionking wrote on 31 Jan 2021 14:29:
Friday was a really not good day. I definitely wasn't living life. I was tense and stressed and screamed at my kids. Then I was feeling guilty for doing that. It was a roller coaster of emotions. 
Before Lecht Tzinten, I made a kabala to try to be better. I think I was mostly successful over Shabbos.

Looking forward to a better week.
Gotta live...

Its a line I've been seeing here recently, about the need to live life.

What exactly is living life?

It means to live life instead of living sex. Meaning not going through the motions of the day, and calculating every action based on sex.


Example:

Open eyes. "I wonder if I'll have sex today. Modeh ani..."

"Good morning honey!" - I think she looks happy today, maybe there's a chance.

I'm starving what should I eat for lunch? Maybe I'll get Shevi's favorite, she'll probably be so grateful, I'll get some tonight.

-Supper time: "Hi I'm home!" "Oh! Hi Zalman, here's the baby please feed him, I have a headache, I'm going crazy, the kids are acting retarded and my boss is a jerk!" Oh no. She probably won't want tonight.

There's still hope. "I'll help, go lie down." Zalman feeds the kids (for sex), bathes them (for sex), goes to maariv.

Thinking- forsure she's gonna jump me, I worked so hard, I'm literally the best husband! Opens bedroom door, Shevi is sleeping...she turns over. "Hi, please put the soup into the fridge. Thanks. I'm bombed g'night. She turns over and promptly falls back asleep.

"%$#@& - &#%$^ - %#*$%"

Next day: Open eyes. "I wonder if I'll have sex today. Modeh ani..."

Etc.

Last Edit: 31 Jan 2021 19:39 by grant400.

Re: MY PATH TO SANITY 31 Jan 2021 19:45 #362376

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Grant,
Thanks, but that isn't what I had in mind.
When I say living life, I mean not being so selfish (irrelevant to sex), not forcing my will on to others, accepting what Hashem wants from me, instead of what I want to do for him. 

In a nutshell, taking myself, my needs, and my wants, out of the equation and just being grateful that I'm alive and well. The ability to appreciate all the things I am BH blessed with, like a good wife, good kids, etc...
My email address is: growinghigher613@gmail.com

Re: MY PATH TO SANITY 31 Jan 2021 19:48 #362378

  • grant400
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I understood from your context that you probably meant what you just wrote. But his question was more of what this line means around the forum, so I took the liberty of explaining it here.

Re: MY PATH TO SANITY 31 Jan 2021 19:50 #362379

  • lou
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[quote="]Its a line I've been seeing here recently, about the need to live life.

What exactly is living life?[/quote]
I think that is a question that each person has to answer for themselves. It is applicable to every area of "life" not just GYE Inyanim. Without the answer to that, then truly what is life?

Re: MY PATH TO SANITY 31 Jan 2021 21:14 #362392

  • hakolhevel
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[quote="Lou" post=362379 date=1612122617 catid=19]
[quote="]Its a line I've been seeing here recently, about the need to live life.

What exactly is living life?[/quote]
I think that is a question that each person has to answer for themselves. It is applicable to every area of "life" not just GYE Inyanim. Without the answer to that, then truly what is life?





[/quote]
That actually was my real intention. Sometimes lines become slogans. So I wanted to hear from lionking what he intended by saying he needs to live life. 

Each to their own, just do let it be a slogan, let it be something to live by (pardon the pun)
My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)

My other Thread: My Daily Inspiration

I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash

A bit of honesty and less over confidence might help me - Imperfection
Last Edit: 31 Jan 2021 21:14 by hakolhevel.

Re: MY PATH TO SANITY 31 Jan 2021 21:51 #362402

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Grant400 wrote on 31 Jan 2021 19:38:

Hakolhevel wrote on 31 Jan 2021 19:07:

lionking wrote on 31 Jan 2021 14:29:
Friday was a really not good day. I definitely wasn't living life. I was tense and stressed and screamed at my kids. Then I was feeling guilty for doing that. It was a roller coaster of emotions. 
Before Lecht Tzinten, I made a kabala to try to be better. I think I was mostly successful over Shabbos.

Looking forward to a better week.
Gotta live...

Its a line I've been seeing here recently, about the need to live life.

What exactly is living life?

It means to live life instead of living sex. Meaning not going through the motions of the day, and calculating every action based on sex.


Example:

Open eyes. "I wonder if I'll have sex today. Modeh ani..."

"Good morning honey!" - I think she looks happy today, maybe there's a chance.

I'm starving what should I eat for lunch? Maybe I'll get Shevi's favorite, she'll probably be so grateful, I'll get some tonight.

-Supper time: "Hi I'm home!" "Oh! Hi Zalman, here's the baby please feed him, I have a headache, I'm going crazy, the kids are acting retarded and my boss is a jerk!" Oh no. She probably won't want tonight.

There's still hope. "I'll help, go lie down." Zalman feeds the kids (for sex), bathes them (for sex), goes to maariv.

Thinking- forsure she's gonna jump me, I worked so hard, I'm literally the best husband! Opens bedroom door, Shevi is sleeping...she turns over. "Hi, please put the soup into the fridge. Thanks. I'm bombed g'night. She turns over and promptly falls back asleep.

"%$#@& - &#%$^ - %#*$%"

Next day: Open eyes. "I wonder if I'll have sex today. Modeh ani..."

Etc.


Grant, I have no words. You are so spot on its actually crazy. When I read this I was thinking, how in the world does he know what I'm thinking?? Lechaim to living life. Lechaim to ending this craziness. 

Re: MY PATH TO SANITY 01 Feb 2021 05:14 #362443

  • lionking
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I was in the car today with the kids for a while. One of my younger children asked me to turn on music, so I plugged in the music usb. He then asked me to turn on Berel (by Motti Illowitz). He then asked me to replay it a few times. By the 3rd time, I was telling myself, Ok, I got the message!

For those of you who never heard this song, it is a story about a father dealing with his rambunctious son and staying calm during the turmoil. Here is a music video: (jmusic.me/motty-ilowitz-berel-official-music-video/?lang=en&d=1) or you can find it on YouTube.
My email address is: growinghigher613@gmail.com

Re: MY PATH TO SANITY 15 Feb 2021 06:40 #363407

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I wonder how this guys doing...

Re: MY PATH TO SANITY 16 Feb 2021 01:37 #363455

  • lionking
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YeshivaGuy wrote on 15 Feb 2021 06:40:
I wonder how this guys doing...

Thanks for checking up. I have a lot going on at the moment. Doing mostly ok.
My email address is: growinghigher613@gmail.com

Re: MY PATH TO SANITY 18 Feb 2021 14:40 #363681

  • lionking
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I fell last night.
I constantly fool myself in thinking I can go on without the support of the forum or email/text.
This plaque breeds in isolation. Gotta stay connected. 
My email address is: growinghigher613@gmail.com

Re: MY PATH TO SANITY 18 Feb 2021 16:58 #363693

  • hakolhevel
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Dov wrote on 20 Feb 2017 17:02:
I think Shlomo24 said it all when he wrote that change requires change.
And Shteeble said the truth when he wrote that if it's important to you then spend time on it.
And I agree w Tiger who wrote that opening up to a safe person who understands is the way to go.

All that stuff says to me that if I look at how I conduct myself during the years of acting out, I will learn how to do things right...by basically doing the opposite. Isolation is king when I act out. Heck, even when I'm not acting out, the worse I feel the more I tend to isolate. If I am lusting or angry or sad, boy do I make myself lonelier by trachten un trachten, etc. and 'figuring it all out'...cuz after all, nobody can really understand me, right?

So if I wanna get right, then I need to do the opposite and start learning how to make friends, how to share myself without cleaning off all my dirt first, and to practice doing those things. Thinking about them will not help me. Thinking is a great part of my problem itself because it increases my fantasy of self-reliance and 'salvation through havonah' - and those things lead to one thing: more masturbation (in private, of course). 

And I have learned that fake named friends are not really real friends. So what you really need ain't happening here staying on any forum. But it's a sweet intro.

And I have learned that self-honesty is the fruit of being honest with others. Kind of like na'aseh venishma works...counter-intuitive. The silly brain tells me that I need to first be fully self-honest so that I will know just what to say to others...and that's a lie.

So, continued hatzlocha you are on the path with us knuckleheads!  
My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)

My other Thread: My Daily Inspiration

I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash

A bit of honesty and less over confidence might help me - Imperfection

Re: MY PATH TO SANITY 18 Feb 2021 20:20 #363697

  • Markz
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lionking wrote on 18 Feb 2021 14:40:
I fell last night.
I constantly fool myself in thinking I can go on without the support of the forum or email/text.
This plaque breeds in isolation. Gotta stay connected. 

Cool Mint Listerine should do the trick. 

You gotta either ‘brush’ up or get on the phone and feel free to roar like the Lion you are - don’t be a stranger!
My Story---------Dov Quotes




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100 Day Success Stories: cordnoy, Dov, Gevura and more...
• Awesome Threads Saved for You
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➣ Nice Trucking Story
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