Lion King, regarding your wet dream count reset, i am pasting here a previous post written to someone else who felt very broken after a wet dream.

"When the subconscious mind starts to realize that you have made a decision not to watch pornography anymore, it rebels. It wants the "drug." It wants that rush of adrenaline and raised heartbeat.

Therefore, when it is in charge - when you are sleeping, half awake, or very spaced out - it will take over and flood your head with images in your memory and cause wet dreams. Ignore all of this completely. It actually means you are winning the war and the subconscious is desperate. It is on the attack. It wants you to feel dirty and evil after the wet dream - but nothing could be farther from the truth!"

I hope you find this helpful. Have a great day.

Just to clarify on a yesterday's post. I wasn't depressed or down about the wet dream. It was more like a status update.

In a weird type of way, I actually was feeling very good about it. It felt like my body was cleansing itself. That is part of the reason why I reset my count. The previous 3 days, I wasn't masturbating or looking at porn, however I definitely was lusting, and being in a bad mood.

Yesterday was a pretty good day. I woke up early, davened ok, work was ok. Not the greatest, I wasn't as focused, and kept checking out the forums. Came home at a decent time and spent some quality time with my Wife and Kids, something which I haven't done in a while. Learned well for 2 hours. Came home and went to sleep normally without wasting too much time. 
Overall a pretty good day.

Today I already started off wrong. Woke up over an hour late, rushed through davening. Running late to work. But going to make the best of the situation. I plan to stay focused at work. Give it my full attention. Will try to get out at a normal time to be home with the family.
Looking forward to a great day!
Hatzlocha Rabba everyone!

Does anyone know how to stop themselves in the midst of acting out?

B"H, these past few days where uneventful. Shabbos was a real blessing. Haven't had such a great Shabbos in a while.

Last night I woke up at 3am, in the midst of a extremely sexual dream, I was masturbating. I was clearly cognizant of my actions. I remember thinking to myself, stop, you need to distract yourself, you don't want to do this. And I remember responding in my brain, Screw this whole recovery thing, I really couldn't care. No, I do want to do it.
There was a clear give and take going on in my head. I ended up acting out. 
I know I can work on avoiding triggers, and not arousing myself, however I don't think I can learn how to overcome such a situation. (Perhaps someone would suggest a taphsic, I really believe that I would've done it even with a taphsic.) I guess I just need to wait it out until my body gets used to the fact that it is not getting a release so often.
Any ideas anyone?

As a side note: I am mekabel BL"N from now till Shevuos to say Krias Shmah at night only from a siddur in it's entirety. Instead of in bed, and more often than not, not saying the whole thing.

Hatzlocha Rabba everyone!

lionking wrote on 23 Apr 2018 13:36:

Personally, for us people (those who the site was intended for - I believe), I think the question is almost silly (sorry - I know it bothers you a lot - sorry again). For us, we cannot stop in the middle of actin' out, but who cares? The point is to learn how to live life in a manner in which we don't find ourselves in such positions. That's why this whole streak business is counterproductive for a lot of people (case in point, there are hundreds or thousands of examples on this site where a fellow says (and kudos to these people who can admit and write this publicly), "hey guys, I fell and acted out," to which he receives tens of responses, "don't worry, today is the day, look at how proud God is, so many good malachim you created in the past, live life properly, etc." which are all valid responses....Why? Because yesterday really matters little to us).

God speed!

Cord's: No need to be sorry. It is good to hear other people's opinions. 

Today is a beautiful day.
All the best!

Waking up in middle of a sexual dream and finding one's self masturbating definitely falls very much into the realm of subconscious. Although not permitted, the "finishing up" of the act is definitely not the same as consciously acting out. Whether or not GYE would call that a fall is irrelevant to the fact that there was a big geder of onais here. Ignore the whole story and move on with your journey to recovery. The krias shma is of course a good hanhaga and we daven  it should be a zchus for you to stay clean while asleep too.

they say sleeping on your side is a good safeguard ,do you do that?

ieeyc wrote on 24 Apr 2018 06:06:

Thanks, I definitely try to go to sleep on the side. I probably twist alot during sleep.

I already the first day missed my commitment regarding Krias Shma. Someone (Thanks, HHM) sent me an email suggesting I learn the Orach Chaim Hakodesh on this week's parsha. I ended up falling asleep on it. I guess falling asleep while learning is also a Shmira!
I will try to learn it when I am not so tired. 

Hatzlocha Rabba!

In effort to recognize the good that Hashem Yisborach bestows on me daily, I will try to pick one each day and express my gratitude to Him.

I am grateful for the fact that I can get my needed sleep in any position. 5.5hrs in a sitting position seems to be all I need.

Looking forward to a great day!

"5.5hrs in a sitting position"

"The path to insanity"?

B"H I am doing fine. Planning to only update the chart once a week. I have decided to take a brief break from posting. It seems like a couple of my posts were too rash. I apologize to anyone whom I have offended. I'm learning to control myself, which also means to decline to respond to posts even when it is on the tip of my tongue.

Today's chizuk email #1853 caused some mixed feelings. The section "LETTING GO OF RESENTMENTS" wasn't a good read for me. It is bad enough that I struggle with the actual resentful feelings, I also struggle with why I feel resentful, now I will start feeling guilty that I have a major emunah problem. Because if only I would've had emunah I wouldn't feel resentful. I really don't call that Chizuk. It is thoughts like these which bring Atzvus and Yiush.
I think the story reflects an extremely high level which most people are not at that level of emunah. I can strive for it, but I need to live in reality to realize I am far from that level.

"Daily Dose of Dov" was extremely inspirational. That I call Gadlus. To have the ability to be machniya himself and learn from Goyim. It really hit home to fact we hide under our facades and if only the world would watch a video of us, how embarrassing that would be.

Hatzlocha Rabba!

GrowStrong wrote on 04 May 2018 09:28:

GS, Thanks for the share. I really appreciate it. Both in Chassidus and Mussar we find the concept of האדם נמשך אחר מחשבותיו. 

On a personal note, I have been working my own little program to try to live a positive life. It's not an easy task however it is extremely important for me.
I'm learning to accept Hashem's will, I'm working on relinquishing my resentments. I'm making a effort to verbally express appreciation both to Hashem and my Wife on a daily basis.
I'm learning to understand that everything is a Mitzva, including my eating, sleeping and working. This is what Hashem wants me to be doing. If he would have wanted me to be the Masmid of the generation, he would've created me as one, etc...
It's a ton of these little details that make me a more happier person. 
I'm B"H noticing a major improvement in the area of lust. I am not looking to fill a void. 

Unfortunately lately I've been needing to use the subway more often. This week itself, I have spend over 5 hours during rush hour on the subway.
B"H, I can report that with Hashem's help I've been successful in guarding my eyes. I didn't even have the temptation to look around.
Did I inadvertently see anything inappropriate? Yes.
Did I take a second look or not turn away right away? No.
Was I tempted to look again? B"H No.

Being connected to Hashem is helping me tremendously.

Had everyone in mind yesterday Lag B'Omer in my Tefillos, some with your first names, some with your screen names, and the rest in a general way. I'm sure Hashem knows whom I was praying for.

Wishing everyone a Git Shabbos!

Beautiful post! Continued success on the subway. Rav Shimshon Pincus was known to say that when we see something inappropriate and turn away, it creates an eis ratzon. And thanks for the Lag B'Omer tfilos!

Gevura Shebyesod wrote on 04 May 2018 22:06:

LionKing ליין-קינג

יחי אדוננו מורנו ורבינו מלך האריות לעולם ועד

Reminder:

• I do not need to masturbate.
• Being moody or under the weather is not an excuse for anything.
• Blank surfing the internet will lead to slips and that will lead to falls.

• Hashem is allowed to challenge me. I don't need to accept the challenge, I have control to hand it back to Him.