During my last year in HS when most people can't wait to get out of high school. I and a few fellow seniors would masterbate together just to experiment, yes it happens in a lot of dorms.
from there it slowly morphed from once a month to 2x a day.

slowly over time my cognitive department could no longer function on yeshiva or summer jobs but how can I have the best orgasim possible.

I so badly want to get out of this mess.
I'm now 21 and still suffering.
I can no longer learn properly.

Welcome,

Sorry to hear.

Great move comin' here.

Can you tell us what you have tried in the past and how you reacted?

B'hatzlachah

Welcome Brother,
You are not alone, there is a group of guys here going through very similar issues for many different reasons.
You can breathe easy, you will find most of the answers you need, right here on the site.
Find some free moments to read through the GYE handbook if you have not yet already done so. Take some extra time to go through the 30 Principles of GYE
Of the many tools you will find here on this site, bringing the problem out into the open, out of isolation and sharing it with others in a similar boat is a great first step.
Read up on the various ways that many here have managed to stay clean for amazingly long periods of time by participating with us in the forum.
If you are dedicated to stopping, know that it is possible.
Most importantly.
Keep on Trucking.

I tried learning more and being focusedon other things. To no avail I would masturbate again. I came to a new Yeshiva this Zeman was clean for like the first month then fell again...
I have no one to open up to my father is in kollel for 30 years I already have 1 sister who is bisexual and not religious. That is hard enough for them.

Only by understanding the triggers for this masturbation can you know to to stop it.

Why do you do it?

What circumstances make you do it?

Tiredness?

Loneliness?

Seeing pornographic images?

Welcome!

Welcome. I'm also 21. Been in recovery for 2 and a half years. Glad to be of service if you want to reach out. 
Hatzlacha

Sometimes people surprise you! I opened up to someone and was pleasantly surprised bh, maybe you can do the same! Whatever way you go may hashem guide you successfully through to the end!

Any updates? You can't keep us hangin'!

Redeemed @ 21 wrote on 09 Apr 2017 18:22:

so then it sounds like your disclosure wouldn't rock their world so much

I find adding on to my learning to fight it just aggravates it.

Welcome, brother. May we all be redeemed soon!

Welcome!  What is your family life like?  Do you have emotional triggers like anger, depression, lonliness, stress?  It may not be primarily an issue of taivah.  Then again, it may be.

Check out the handbook.  Keep posting.

1) Sorry for keeping all hanging, I have Netspark on my phone and sometimes DKY, it doesn't let me access this site, anyone how to work it out? Even when u do have access, can't see all posts.

2) I did open up to a very close friend of mine, who has had a lot of interaction with me over the past few years. Surprisingly,  he handled very well. Thank you Chaimel.

3) I'm still in middle of reading the handbook. Still working on pinpointing triggers. My family life is relatively in tow with what it should be at. Stress, could possibly be a factor...

4) With the Zeman looming ahead, dk how often I will see the forum...

hope you also dk seeing other things

Redeemed @ 21 wrote on 09 Apr 2017 18:22:

Personal question - feel free not to answer.

Is your father in kollel an Ish Chessed and also a masmid who's like the guy that bought an Aliyah at the last Dirshu shabbaton auction for 10,000 daf, or is he more the dysfunctional type (He wouldn't be the first that I know personally)?

If he's part of the 2nd group, it's a bigger question than you think

Feel free to answer, cos (right now) no one knows who you are