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TOPIC: my problems 25830 Views

Re: my problems 30 Aug 2018 16:57 #335168

  • mikestrucking
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wwhat's up with the new design for the app on galaxy (android?)
Formerly mikestruggling I just bought a truck. l hang out in the trailer and G-d drives. 
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
Last Edit: 30 Aug 2018 20:25 by mikestrucking. Reason: was told to (never mess with a trucker) do what your told

Re: my problems 30 Aug 2018 19:43 #335170

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mzl wrote on 27 Aug 2018 12:28:
Ok. So you should before I reply to someone I should read everything. But 99% of people's posts don't contain any information other than "I'm still here, still struggling." So now you know where I'm coming from.

At any rate I'll get out of your way because you sound angry and you are not really explaining.

Mzl, I started writing a whole post to you about how we read other peoples threads before giving advice, and in the name of "practice what I preach" I starded reading your thread. After turning the pages, I decided not to submit my original post. Knowing a little bit more about you made me change what I wanted to say. Just a thought that you might want to think about. 
.
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Re: my problems 31 Aug 2018 03:38 #335182

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It’s on Iphone too. It’s awful; it feels like it’s made for ten year olds (and if there is one site that’s for adults, it’s this one...)

Bring the old one back. 

Re: my problems 31 Aug 2018 04:56 #335186

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tthat may be the point Dov says that it is not adult or mature content it's immature. we addicts are ill adjusted to life 
Formerly mikestruggling I just bought a truck. l hang out in the trailer and G-d drives. 
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!

Re: my problems 04 Sep 2018 16:04 #335271

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 I'm very depressed today. I'm working on fearing my mother less with my therapist. Now I'm contemplating not talking to my mother. I feel the anger very strong which is good I need to get it out of my system. However it makes me want to escape. Thank God today I have a strong step 1 and I won't act out NMW. However I am escaping to books. I didn't go to 2nd  Seder today. In short I'm not really functioning. I'm looking for feedback from experience please don't tell me what to do. You can tell me what you did.
Thanks
Formerly mikestruggling I just bought a truck. l hang out in the trailer and G-d drives. 
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!

Re: my problems 04 Sep 2018 16:21 #335272

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mikestruggling wrote on 04 Sep 2018 16:04:
 I'm very depressed today. I'm working on fearing my mother less with my therapist. Now I'm contemplating not talking to my mother. I feel the anger very strong which is good I need to get it out of my system. However it makes me want to escape. Thank God today I have a strong step 1 and I won't act out NMW. However I am escaping to books. I didn't go to 2nd  Seder today. In short I'm not really functioning. I'm looking for feedback from experience please don't tell me what to do. You can tell me what you did.
Thanks

Sorry to hear

Heres a good place to share 1st seder
This is where many of us find and make Seder in our life. 

Yes - Experience

I don't know the whole situation, but someone I know was advised not to speak to the abusive parent, not to answer calls. It's complicated and tough. 
BH you have a good therapist and I feel for you!

IyH you'll get the 1st seder and everything else in 2nd Seder will fall into place. May those be your only falls ;-)
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Re: my problems 04 Sep 2018 17:10 #335273

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Markz wrote on 04 Sep 2018 16:21:

mikestruggling wrote on 04 Sep 2018 16:04:
 I'm very depressed today. I'm working on fearing my mother less with my therapist. Now I'm contemplating not talking to my mother. I feel the anger very strong which is good I need to get it out of my system. However it makes me want to escape. Thank God today I have a strong step 1 and I won't act out NMW. However I am escaping to books. I didn't go to 2nd  Seder today. In short I'm not really functioning. I'm looking for feedback from experience please don't tell me what to do. You can tell me what you did.
Thanks

Sorry to hear

Heres a good place to share 1st seder
This is where many of us find and make Seder in our life. 

Yes - Experience

I don't know the whole situation, but someone I know was advised (I was advised to consider) not to speak to the abusive parent, not to answer calls. (but I'm scared because) It's complicated and tough. 
BH you have a good therapist and I feel for you!

IyH you'll get the 1st seder and everything else in 2nd Seder will fall into place. May those be your only falls ;-)

iI'm gonna speak to my therapist Thursday which is before I'm expected to call home. This week I have  been avoiding my mother but I don't usually call during the week except when I need to so it's not a statement. 
Thanks for feedback
Formerly mikestruggling I just bought a truck. l hang out in the trailer and G-d drives. 
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!

Re: my problems 04 Sep 2018 17:19 #335274

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mikestruggling wrote on 04 Sep 2018 17:10:

Markz wrote on 04 Sep 2018 16:21:

mikestruggling wrote on 04 Sep 2018 16:04:
 I'm very depressed today. I'm working on fearing my mother less with my therapist. Now I'm contemplating not talking to my mother. I feel the anger very strong which is good I need to get it out of my system. However it makes me want to escape. Thank God today I have a strong step 1 and I won't act out NMW. However I am escaping to books. I didn't go to 2nd  Seder today. In short I'm not really functioning. I'm looking for feedback from experience please don't tell me what to do. You can tell me what you did.
Thanks

Sorry to hear

Heres a good place to share 1st seder
This is where many of us find and make Seder in our life. 

Yes - Experience

I don't know the whole situation, but someone I know was advised (I was advised to consider) not to speak to the abusive parent, not to answer calls. (but I'm scared because) It's complicated and tough. 
BH you have a good therapist and I feel for you!

IyH you'll get the 1st seder and everything else in 2nd Seder will fall into place. May those be your only falls ;-)

iI'm gonna speak to my therapist Thursday which is before I'm expected to call home. This week I have  been avoiding my mother but I don't usually call during the week except when I need to so it's not a statement. 
Thanks for feedback

Man, that is a nasty situation. I used to dread going to shul on Shabbos because I knew the Rabbi would figure out a way to work my mzl shortcomings into a sermon somehow. I finally moved to a different shul. The Rabbi there thinks I'm sick in the head basically and accepts it, and doesn't try to reform me.

If you have a sample conversation between you and your mother that might be helpful. It only takes one sentence from you and one from her in response (or vice versa) to describe what's wrong in the relationship.

Re: my problems 04 Sep 2018 17:32 #335275

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mzl how about you try it first. If you have a sample conversation between you and your 1st rabbi that might be helpful. It only takes one sentence from you and one from him in response (or vice versa) to describe what's wrong in the relationship.
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Re: my problems 04 Sep 2018 17:40 #335276

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Markz wrote on 04 Sep 2018 17:32:
mzl how about you try it first. If you have a sample conversation between you and your 1st rabbi that might be helpful. It only takes one sentence from you and one from him in response (or vice versa) to describe what's wrong in the relationship.

Look, everybody knows that mothers can destroy one's life (or save it.) Like I said, what I did was to leave a detrimental Rabbi. But I'm guessing he doesn't want to dump his mother or he would have done it already. Capish?

Re: my problems 04 Sep 2018 19:14 #335278

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SSo I call home and she says "how was your week?"
I say "great pretty much uneventful"
So what do you think
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
Formerly mikestruggling I just bought a truck. l hang out in the trailer and G-d drives. 
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Re: my problems 04 Sep 2018 20:26 #335281

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mikestruggling wrote on 04 Sep 2018 19:14:
SSo I call home and she says "how was your week?"
I say "great pretty much uneventful"
So what do you think
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!

That doesn't sound like a problematic exchange.

I was referring to an exchange where one of you says something critical of the other, and the other responds. For example, you and I had that type of exchange. You said "now I am a little irritated at you" and I said "you sound angry and you are not really explaining things, I'll get out of your way." The exchange wasn't progress for the relationship.

The problem was that you wanted me to dig into your posts and I wanted you to bring it all out so I didn't have to do any work. The exchange did not bring out this problem. The relationship wasn't any better afterwards.

I guess I was looking for that type of exchange.

It doesn't have to be a relationship problem. Just hearing my mother tell me how special this or that store was used to irritate me to no end because she was borderline. But usually there is some sentence or actions that push your buttons.

Re: my problems 04 Sep 2018 20:29 #335282

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mikestruggling wrote on 04 Sep 2018 19:14:
SSo I call home and she says "how was your week?"
I say "great pretty much uneventful"
So what do you think
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!

One question: when this happens do you sense your mother getting frustrated perhaps because you are saying it was uneventful, where obviously you are struggling with painful feelings?

Re: my problems 04 Sep 2018 20:55 #335283

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NNo I actually feel it's very nosy of her to ask me about MY week. My week is MINE. Why is it her business how my week went? I don't ask her about her week. 
If she would ask me about my month that would be a different story...
Formerly mikestruggling I just bought a truck. l hang out in the trailer and G-d drives. 
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Re: my problems 04 Sep 2018 21:12 #335284

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mikestruggling wrote on 04 Sep 2018 20:55:
NNo I actually feel it's very nosy of her to ask me about MY week. My week is MINE. Why is it her business how my week went? I don't ask her about her week. 
If she would ask me about my month that would be a different story...

Does it bother you that she is nosy because you hold that people should mind their own business (as a universal rule) or because she might be doing it to interfere with your life?
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