my name is aryeh
when i was 8 years old. i got molested and raped by my neighbor for 5 years. it was really painfull for me. In the end i took him to court. i dont know why but i do know one thing Hashem had his reasons and the guy who abused me walked away. but i do know Hashem will punish him in both worlds. i am still in therapy.
because i got molested i started to masturbate. and occasion. i watch porn. and i hate myself for it. its not good for me,not ruchnius and not gashmeus. i really want to stop. A stop masturbating B watching porn. Please i am begging you please help me stop doing it. i am really trying to get closer to Hashem. please let me know what are some steps i can do to stop myself. and 2 make a plan of action to stop myself from mastubating.
yasher koach.
yours truly Aryeh S

Sorry to hear your sit

What does your therapist suggest

i did not quote and reply, so you can remove personal info which you should not post on the online forum

KIT

makpid-lion wrote on 22 Feb 2017 22:25:


That's really rough. May Hashem guide you to clarity. 
Yes, listen to your therapist. I'm glad you wish to stop this struggle but by no means should you beat yourself up because of it. Keep strong with your Emuna, which you sound like you have in heaps and bounds, and seek the calm amidst your storm.

Hatzlocha, brother.

Aryeh, is your therapist trained in abuse and in addictions? What methods does he use with you?

Welcome.  You are already in therapy, so that is a good step.  I recommend replying to the.guard.  He may have resources that can help you.  We can offer chizzuk and suggestions, but from your story, it sounds like you need professional help.

Wow, it sounds like you've been through a lot, and you're really focused on healing, which is incredible. 

It also sounds like you're also open to being real and honest. I'm not sure if your abuse is the sole contributor to your masturbation, but it might well be part of the issue - a good therapist who knows you would be a better judge of that.

Have you considered the support of real-life meetings?

Aryeh your'e a real gibur, 

Your focus should be on healing, you didn't ask for this terrible situation, and it is not your fault, you did nothing wrong.
In terms of masturbating you should not allow it to get you down, have guilty feelings, or feel ashamed! 
even without extenuating circumstances it is a very hard nisayon, but with so many factors..... lo nitna torah lmalachei hasharais! 
Chas vsholom to think I am saying it is muttar.... but try to direct your focus on doing what you can to heal!!!

Yesh Din VYesh Dayan!