,I have a tag filter on my computer but when the yeytzer is strong i find a way to get to something.I need help in my brain not just locks all around me.
If someone can help me i would really appreciate it. 
Thanks and i hope to get out of this fast!

Welcome. You're in the right place.

First of all please take time to read through the GYE handbook.  No two people are the same, everyone has a slightly different set of circumstances, but we all share this problem and since we share the problem we can share the solution too. The book is written in a general way so it can apply to everyone. I found it helpful to really think about what the book was saying and how it applied to me and my own life.

This is a very common problem nowadays, you're far from the only one to deal with it. The word addict gets thrown around quite a lot, but most people who struggle with this issue are not addicts, just normal people with a normal yetzer hora. Which is good. Some people have come to realise that they really are addicts because their situation got gradually worse and worse despite working on it. When I say worse I mean, in frequency, severity or just feeling worse after every slip. If that is the case we may need more than GYE, which most people find to be therapy or SA or both. But I wouldn't jump to that conclusion about you. Many people have overcome this challenge right here on GYE using the tools in the handbook.

So stick around. Keep posting, keep reading and keep on trucking.

Thanks where do you think i should start?

Welcome,
It sounds like you want to deal with the issue rather than just putting fences, which is great. A first step would be to think about what the problem stems from and try to fix it with someone.

jack3777 wrote on 15 Feb 2017 23:56:

I would recommend reading Jerusalemsexaddict posts and Dov quotes (see below)

Welcome. Wishing you much hatzlocha! Look through the site here - there's lots of chizuk. Articles, shiurim, forums, etc. But the most powerful thing is that you are now part of a family. We are mechazek each other, we make everyone realize they are normal and dealing with a challenge that thousands are struggling with. We even argue with each other like in a real family. So welcome and keep on posting.

Welcome brother! Like watson said, maybe start by reading the handbook. Gauge where you are holding in this issue and find the tools appropriate for you.

Also please don't expect to break out of this fast! Everything takes time. Compound interest is most effective, but it takes years to develop. This battle requires growth and transformation the likes you've never before seen, and it's no easy task! But we're here to help you all the way!

Welcome!  Check out the handbook.  Keep posting.

Singularity wrote on 16 Feb 2017 07:33:


Damn you are to fast for singer boy well at least we think alike some/most of the time

Welcome can you share some of your' story no pressure bot that will help us know what to say (or not to say) but most of all it will help you (hopefully)
Either way let us know how we can (try) to help

Welcome to the club
Gr8 first step 
 I'm not gonna sugar coat a couple of realities so here goes
You write"I love my wife" . every time you watch porn and masturbate you are contradicting that statement.so it's either a fake sense of love or you don't know what genuine love is.you love yourself alot more than you love your wife .Most of us here know that we DIDN'T love our wives.so look into it.read some shalom bayis books.(garden of peace worked for me). Another reality.You have a emotional void or reaction that you have to realize/recognize in order to fight P/M.
With me it's rage/anger and WAS (BH getting better every day)a lack of relationship with my wife.
please take these things seriously.you are exactly where I was and it's torture.the longer you put it off the worse it gets.
Hatzluche rabba

Meier wrote on 21 Feb 2017 17:55:

II think people can love their wife and still watch porn, but I agree completely with what you wrote that they love themselves more than they love their wives. I know I did.

Yes, of course masturbating myself to fantasy women (or even to fantasy about my own wife) is forever gonna be an obstacle to real closeness and love.

But Meier seems to be leading to an assumption that if one had a better relationship w his wife and really loved her then he'd probably be able to quit resorting to porn and masturbating himself. I may be wrong of course, but that's how it reads, to me.

While I certainly can't speak for sinners, I can speak for many of the addicts I know and for myself, and say that I find that theory lacking. And I know that a person can improve their relationship with their wives (and even with Hashem) in some respects even though they are still masturbating and using porn on a semi-regular basis. Hey, 'sheva yipol tzaddik' is all about that very fact, right?
Sure, they will not get that far, but they will surely make progress! And progress is very nice....I think we can all agree on that one. But it begs the question again: So what?

To me, the question was, "Is this kind of progress what I want?" - and even if I wished I could settle for it, I eventually couldn't tolerate it any longer.

Meier wrote on 21 Feb 2017 17:55:

Hi Meier
I did and do love my wife. When i was acting out I loved myself more though.
I am interested to know who this was actually posted for? Poor Jack had his thread hijacked and he did make a very valid point about filters not being the real solution, which does need addressing.

Ooooooops
my post was supposed to go on a different "introducing myself"