Hi,
I am a married man. I don't watch pornography everyday, as at least I am careful to not have a smart phone or unfiltered internet, but whenever I get the chance, I am a slave to it. I have no choice. Being motzie zera livatala invariably follows. 
I also have a big problem with looking at women and fantasizing. Neighbors, people passing by, anybody really- I have fantasized. 
All aveiras aside (if there could be such a thing) I love my wife so much and it kills me that by doing these things she becomes less attractive to me. 
I need help. I want to be as attracted to her as I once was. I want to not feel like a slave. I want to know that this is something I can help. I honestly dont see it happening. There are too many woman around my neighborhood, wearing too many tight skirts. 
Help.

Welcome! Thanks for having the courage to share. A lot of people found hope and solutions here when they felt hopeless starting out. Hatzlacha!

Welcome!

Perhaps gye could distribute flyers for all members to hang all over  their neighborhood asking women to adhere to a better dress code

Will this reduce your high exposure?

I would definitely be game for that.

joereede wrote on 25 Jan 2017 01:15:

Welcome to the place where you will get better with Hashem's help. Sign up for chizuk emails and connect with the people here. We will be rooting for you.

Cords told me over two years ago:
the road to recovery is thru yourself

neshamaincharge wrote on 25 Jan 2017 03:40:

He tells lots of people lots of things
The wise guys listen to him like you do and that's what has you do yourself Monstah trucking thru yourself by yourself cos your neshama is in charge mode

Hey. Welcome to GYE.
my 2 cents - start small. dont rush into crazy kabalos and commitments. take little victories and build on them.
have you tried talking to a rebbi or therapist? maybe try to discover if there is an underlying reason? 
also - always remember - Hashem would not have said "and do not stray after your heart and eyes" (not gonna sit here and futz around with a hebrew keyboard...) if it was impossible. as humans, we have been given the bolt cutters of life. its just a matter of building up the strength to finally snap the chains of enslavement. 
good luck bro -
keep us posted

Markz wrote on 25 Jan 2017 03:47:

lost me


but i sorta get it

Welcome, Joe! You've come to the right place! browse around, discover some tools, see if they work for you.

i feel for you i would invite you to my neighborhood but i noticed a few tight skirts here also

Markz wrote on 25 Jan 2017 01:29:



Im not sure advising GYE members to "hang around neighborhoods" is so smart.

neshamaincharge wrote on 25 Jan 2017 03:40:

Great quote.

Good memory.

Recovery will not come thru sign hangin', tzitzis wearin', wife swappin' or her mood changin', gartel donnin', quotin', postin', eschewin', countin', thinkin', hyperventilatin', or other stuff.

Welcome! Check out the handbook.  Check out the dov quotes (link in my signature). Keep posting.  We know what you are going through, cuz we are going thru it too.

joereede do you see how many responses you got?!  We really care and want you to join the club and get out of this mess. It can be done

cordnoy wrote on 25 Jan 2017 14:54:

Wonder if anyone will remember this quote in two years.