Hi Everyone,
i need chizuk. I'm married and have a few children. I had an extremely rough childhood. I was emotionally abused, sexually abused and was forced to learn and Daven much much more than an average boy my age was supposed. 
I've been through years of therapy and over the last year I am doing a very intense and extremely painful therapy which is bringing up all my past trauma. 
I have a very good marriage and have wonderful kids and also built up a great and respectable business but inside I'm so depressed, so hollow. I have a dark dark inside. I'm already on meds so there's not much more I can do right now.
The reason why I'm posting here is because for as long as I can remember I'm suffering from lust. I lust every woman I see. I don't really act out much and don't mast... but I still lust a lot. If I ever get an unfiltered computer I go everywhere on it. I recently had a very very bad fall which I never ever dreamt that I would do. I'm just in so much pain that I need something to keep me happy and I also don't have the emotional stamina and strength to fight my urges. 

I'm so broken right now. How should I control myself when I feel like I have no strength? i need someone to hold my hand and help me get through this massive massive nisayon. I have a lot more to write but I really have to go now so I'll continue next time.

Welcome,

Sorry to hear about all that.

Have you told your therapist about all that?

Hello Butterfly. Long time no see. Welcome back.

Have you read the GYE handbook? Also, please check out the second link in my signature if you feel inclined to do so.

Overcoming this takes a lot of work and patience. No-one can tell you everything you need to know in one post. So keep posting and keep reading.

I'm glad you're getting therapy for your childhood trauma. As far as GYE goes, I'm not sure you'd gain anything by mentioning it here. We're not therapists so we can only really talk about the lust issue, because we all have the lust issue irrespective of childhood. But good for you for seeking help for that in an appropriate setting.

Stick around. Post some, read more.

Watson wrote:

Watson I beg to disagree

I saw a great gye vid last night and am hoping to discuss it on the forum maybe Sunday.
But now I need to work thanks to cordnoy for reminding me to stay focused on life

Markz wrote on 30 Dec 2016 15:21:

Wish he'd remind me.

I'm sorry to hear that you are having a tough time right now.  Keep us posted on how you are doing.