I've been on GYE on and off for a couple of years now, and I'm grateful that such a resource exists. My story is basically that I'm a (MO FFB) married father of 2 who has met numerous people using various websites and I've done some terrible things. I know many people here are struggling with porn addiction or masturbation, and I know it's terribly difficult to stop. At the same time I would give anything at this point for that to be my struggle, because everything I've done has escalated (often stemming from porn/masturbation).

And so I'm here because even with the help of my therapist it's not enough support. I'm depressed. I feel out of control. And I'm at a crossroads in my life. I'm 37 years old and I can either continue on the path I've been on, but it's a path I know will lead to my ruin.

Or I can say enough is enough, I can try to give myself the most support possible, and I can move in the direction of the person I know I can become. 

Many thanks to you all for listening/reading and I appreciate your support. I'm hoping that together we are much more powerful than by ourselves. 

Welcome,

I think we share very similar struggles. Lets fight this together maybe??? I am PM ing you now.

Welcome,
​Thank you for posting your story. While i am not entirely in the same boat as you, i can relate to your feelings. We are here to support you whenever you need, please don'r be shy to keep posting. good luck on your journey

Welcome

Wishing you hatzlachah.

What have you done in the past in your attempts at recovery?

Welcome JV
we value you too!!!!

People mistakenly, imho, think that there is a צד השוה if you and i both hooked up with another Jewish woman. We are different if she wasn't Jewish. We are the same if both of us are 40. We are different if I like gay porn and he likes 'em straight. If our fetishes are both kinky, let's email each other, but if I'm into clubs and he's into magazines, we have nothing in common. If he visits parlors and I peep into bathrooms we cannot strengthen each other, but if he and I both use the same peer to peer file sharing, we are cut from the same cloth. If he works in sales and I'm behind a desk, our struggles are not comparable, but if we both take the subway, we should meet underground. If he's a Slonimer and I'm from Chabad, we talk the same language, but if he's fffb and I'm moh, then we walk on opposite sides of the street. If he's a baal tayvah and I'm a hardcore addict, we have different books, but if he was abused and I abused others, we can meet in the John.

Now, there are people that connect with each other and there are those who don't.

MyI point being that there is common ground here between the majority of us. People should read what others write and if it speaks to them, comment; if not, decide. Always have an open mind in this business. Get out of yourself, for it is you/i/him that put us in this situation to begin with. (Ok, God did as well, if that's what you want to believe, and perhaps He did.) One might find that someone's response really hit home and that's good....cherish that and make sure that relationship thrives and flourishes. If you don't speak the same language, move on; there's nothing wrong with that.

This post was brought about by several posts I've seen in the past week. 

B'hatzlachah to all.

Belmont is that why you don't comment??

I'm currently in therapy and have been for a bit. I've tried many methods of self help. I went to one sa meeting which was underwhelming. Some davening. Or maybe a lot of davening. I went to see a rabbi about it also. 

jewishvalues613 wrote on 16 Dec 2016 13:41:

What does the therapist say?

What kind of self help methods? How long did you keep at it? What were the results?

One SA meeting and you called it quits....interesting. If, perhaps, that is what you needed, it would be a big shame (TZ says shanda; many use that expression, but I just saw something from him) to give it up after one time.

Davening is good and important, but we must take actions as well, and it seems like you did some.

Did you tell your rabbi everything? What was his response?

Feel free to ignore many of my questions; feel free to ignore them all.....

B'hatzlachah

cordnoy wrote on 16 Dec 2016 13:49:

Ditto.

cordnoy wrote on 16 Dec 2016 13:49:

You took the words out of my mouth

If he took the words out of your mouth then I chewed them up.

Welcome!  Cordnoy has some good questions and some wise words.  Allow me to add to his questions.  As always, there is no obligation to reply.

You say you have been on and off GYE for a while.  In what ways did you participate?  Handbook? Forum? Phone conferences?  What did you gain from being here?  In what way do you imagin that "together we are much more powerful than by ourselves"?

Who knows about your struggles?  Your wife? 

You say that you would give anything for your struggle to only be porn and masturbation.  I understand what you mean.  I also assume you know that just as an alcoholic wishes he could drink like a gentelman, but cannot.  If you are truly addicted, you cannot "lust like a gentleman" either.  Each "drink" carries the risk of leading to uncontrolled bingeing.  The primary word being "uncontrolled".  Once we are in the grips of lust, it controlls us, not the other way around.

I look forward to hearing more from you.  Many people have been helped.  Many have been in worse situations than you are right now.

I wish you all the best. (I grew up a MO FFB also)

Shlomo24 wrote on 16 Dec 2016 16:40:

See this is what happens when you're off the internet for three days. No time to reply and everyone else has said what you would have.
Talk about redundancy!

Hatzlocha in the struggle! The actions are different but the symptoms are all the same! If untreated, it's just a matter of time before we all hook up online