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WILL SUCCEED BE
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TOPIC: WILL SUCCEED BE 18518 Views

WILL SUCCEED BE 08 Dec 2016 18:59 #299473

  • will Succeed Beh
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Hi
Here is my story, I'm from a normal Heimishe Family, good loving parents,
When i was i young boy i came to notice that there is some differences in body between male & female, so i started fantasizing about revealing them, then i found some catalogues and devoured them to find some hints, that was basically it.Till one day when i was in Yeshiva Ketane i found a phone (a simple stupid phone) and i found that by browsing a bit i could find some interesting things..., didn't get to far then as the phone had a under 18 safeguard block, but enough to make me realise that with any phone with using a bit of your head you can find what you want, you just have to find your way around, after a few days my parents noticed it (from extra charges on the phone bill) they asked someone to speak to me and he did, but didnt help to much for my newfound ideas.
About a year later i found another phone this time it was a Blackberry and within a few minutes i was exposed to the worst pictures, that i didnt even dream that there is.
Afterwards i went of to Yeshiva Gedola in Israel, at first everything was ok, but slowly the old habits came back, but i didnt have a phone so it basically stayed in my mind, about 1 1/2 years into Yeshiva Gedola i started to masturbate till then interesting enough (B''H) i never did it!
Then one Bein Hazmanim when going back to Yeshiva i took with me a phone, in the Beginning i only played games with it, after that i bought a sim card and...
Then i got married to a beautiful nice young girl was extremely happy, i got settled and it seemed that everything was ok, but deep inside it still bubbled - it was never fixed.
Bout two years after my Chasuna i started again @ first just making sure to see some things by mistake (in a kosher internet caffe) then i got laptop for some work, i made sure to install a good filter.But then it started with movies, i got hooked up on an actor went on searching for more movies and in the same time i started to look for loopholes in the filter, sure enough i found some, i started to search for porn (which i can say was quite hard to find with a filter), after some time i took off the filter, started viewing porn and started masturbating 1st time since my Chasuna (2 1/2 ys), then started the cycle of putting back the filter - taking it off.....
Then i found GYE by an ad on the yeshiva world news site, i started of with the 90 days chart, it helped for a while, then fell back down tried again and fell again, till i realised i need something more,
So im starting Beh the TaPHSiC Method.
BE"H WE WILL SUCCEED
BE"H WE WILL ALL SUCCEED
My Thread
Mini Community
טאטע! אפילו איך שפיר זיך ווייט פון דיר, אוי אוי אוי
ווייס איך אז די ביסט נאנט צו מיר אזוי, אוי אוי אוי
מיט ליבשאפט ווי אן איינציג קינד, פון בענקשאפט א טרערעלע רינט
ואהבת עולם, אהבת עולם אהבתיך
Last Edit: 08 Dec 2016 19:01 by will Succeed Beh.

Re: Will Succeed BeH 08 Dec 2016 19:27 #299474

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May you be blessed sweet guy that you are

Keep us posted on this thread
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Re: WILL SUCCEED BE 08 Dec 2016 19:41 #299477

  • cordnoy
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Welcome,

B'hatzlachah
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: WILL SUCCEED BE 08 Dec 2016 19:48 #299479

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Welcome,

I like your Positive name that you chose! thanks for opening up. May you have lots of Hatzlacha.
I currently attend live SA meetings. Feel free to reach out to me.

Re: WILL SUCCEED BE 08 Dec 2016 19:49 #299480

  • YidFromMonsey
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I wish you a bunch hatzlocho!

Just remember that this issue was years in the making, don't expect it to go away overnight, KOT and DON'T GIVE UP BROTHER!!!
You're better than yesterday but not as good as you're gonna be tomorrow. - Harvey

yfm10952@gmail.com

Re: WILL SUCCEED BE 08 Dec 2016 20:11 #299485

  • Shlomo24
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Hatzlacha
What works for me: 1) Honesty 2) Meetings 3) 12-step 4) Listening to my Sponsor 5) Not doing what I want to do 6) Inviting the God of my understanding into my life

"I can't do it, God can help." | "Everything I want is on the other side of fear." | "Where there is deprivation there is addiction." | "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery." | "Stop stopping, start living."

My thread: Big Steps

Email: iam24zman@gmail.com

Re: WILL SUCCEED BE 08 Dec 2016 21:40 #299490

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Welcome!  Thank you for sharing that.  Coming here is a big step.  There are lots of ideas in the handbook.  The problem I have with the 90 day chart and Taphsic is that (as dov says) "the fox is guarding the henhouse".  There is no accountability.  I found that opening up to a real person was a big step for me.  You may not need it.  But, often the things that work are also uncomfortable.  Don't get stuck ONLY using comfortable methods.  Keep in touch!

It's a warm, accepting chevra here.  We know what you are going through, and we are here for you.

Re: WILL SUCCEED BE 09 Dec 2016 01:43 #299509

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gibbor120 wrote on 08 Dec 2016 21:40:
Welcome!  Thank you for sharing that.  Coming here is a BIG STEP.  There are lots of ideas in the handbook.  The problem I have with the 90 day chart and Taphsic is that (as dov says) "the fox is guarding the henhouse".  There is no accountability.  I found that opening up to a real person was a big step for me.  You may not need it.  But, often the things that work are also uncomfortable.  Don't get stuck ONLY using comfortable methods.  Keep in touch!

It's a warm, accepting chevra here.  We know what you are going through, and we are here for you.

Automatic thank you initiated.
What works for me: 1) Honesty 2) Meetings 3) 12-step 4) Listening to my Sponsor 5) Not doing what I want to do 6) Inviting the God of my understanding into my life

"I can't do it, God can help." | "Everything I want is on the other side of fear." | "Where there is deprivation there is addiction." | "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery." | "Stop stopping, start living."

My thread: Big Steps

Email: iam24zman@gmail.com
Last Edit: 09 Dec 2016 01:43 by Shlomo24.

Re: WILL SUCCEED BE 09 Dec 2016 05:05 #299520

  • AllForHashem
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Stay strong. You will find more productive outlets.

Re: WILL SUCCEED BE 09 Dec 2016 08:22 #299523

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Welcome! Surf around and find your saving grace!
And keep active here! Absence is always the sign of something fishy...
"Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his sobriety level?"
"... It's over NINE-ZEROOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

One day... At A Time :-D


Introduce Yourself and get a free karma point from yours truley!
My Thread

Re: WILL SUCCEED BE 09 Dec 2016 11:03 #299530

  • will Succeed Beh
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Thank you all Guys.

I'll tel you the truth, the only way i could keep up till now (9 days - Passed my Bris Milah yesterday {as HayomYom posted me}) is by keeping up with this forum, all of you are amazing.

Another thing was every time i needed a stretch in work, instead of surfing till i found something that started of the habit... i started surfing GYE forums, this helped me stay clean & gave me a lot of Chizuk.

Again thank you all
BE"H WE WILL ALL SUCCEED
My Thread
Mini Community
טאטע! אפילו איך שפיר זיך ווייט פון דיר, אוי אוי אוי
ווייס איך אז די ביסט נאנט צו מיר אזוי, אוי אוי אוי
מיט ליבשאפט ווי אן איינציג קינד, פון בענקשאפט א טרערעלע רינט
ואהבת עולם, אהבת עולם אהבתיך

Re: WILL SUCCEED BE 09 Dec 2016 11:09 #299531

  • will Succeed Beh
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My short term Goal for now is to Keep a Clean Kislev, get the whole month of Kislev Clean Day by Day!

Trying to imagine the great feeling of sitting by the Chanuka Candles - felling so clean.

BE''H WE WILL SUCCEED!!!
BE"H WE WILL ALL SUCCEED
My Thread
Mini Community
טאטע! אפילו איך שפיר זיך ווייט פון דיר, אוי אוי אוי
ווייס איך אז די ביסט נאנט צו מיר אזוי, אוי אוי אוי
מיט ליבשאפט ווי אן איינציג קינד, פון בענקשאפט א טרערעלע רינט
ואהבת עולם, אהבת עולם אהבתיך

Re: WILL SUCCEED BE 12 Dec 2016 12:05 #299685

  • will Succeed Beh
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B''H going on strong with the Clean Kislev Project,

All credit for GYE, the TaPhSiC Method is working B''H, the idea is to make yourself really committed to stop or at least really try to....
BE"H WE WILL ALL SUCCEED
My Thread
Mini Community
טאטע! אפילו איך שפיר זיך ווייט פון דיר, אוי אוי אוי
ווייס איך אז די ביסט נאנט צו מיר אזוי, אוי אוי אוי
מיט ליבשאפט ווי אן איינציג קינד, פון בענקשאפט א טרערעלע רינט
ואהבת עולם, אהבת עולם אהבתיך

Re: WILL SUCCEED BE 12 Dec 2016 13:15 #299690

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Shkoyach! A taphsic is also helping me! Also 12 steps helps.

Good going, good to be committed. But keep in mind addiction doesn't like other commitments. It will fight back. And it will win. The real tool is surrendering to God.
"Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his sobriety level?"
"... It's over NINE-ZEROOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

One day... At A Time :-D


Introduce Yourself and get a free karma point from yours truley!
My Thread

Re: WILL SUCCEED BE 12 Dec 2016 14:58 #299713

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Welcome to GYE.
Much hatzlocha.
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