I am sure this will sound common but it's still a very unique struggle.
I have everything a person can need. Family, parnassah, health, and even many good ruchnius things.
But from the other side I have an extreme struggle with things related to lust, and internet is not the problem. I only work with filtered computers, and I even have a web chaver on my main computers.

The reason I am coming here now is that I have now a major nisayon in an inyan of kedusha and I can either fall very badly or grow tremendously if I overcome and build further to become a person that acts the way hashem wants.

If you read this message and can offer support - I will owe you my life!

ahavayirah wrote on 06 Dec 2016 15:47:

You're talking in code words..... mind explaining a bit more what's going on? No one can offer support without understanding what we're dealing with....

​Welcome aboard brother, coming here is already a step in the right direction!

ahavayirah wrote on 06 Dec 2016 15:47:

Welcome,

Consider it offered.

B'hatzlachah

What inyan of kedusha are you struggling with?

First I want to clarify that for around 20 years I have not willfully done zera lavatala or done anything that can lead to that...



But I still have a very strong craving to look and think about things that are not appropriate.



My current struggle is at work. I work with women for a few years and we became too close to each other. I had a close call lately and I know I can fall if I don't have help from hashem and support to strengthen the way I deal with these things...

Close call meaning....? Is it factual or is it only in your head and she has no clue that you lust after her?

factual

YidFromMonsey wrote on 06 Dec 2016 17:01:

I don't understand why that makes a difference. I wish you much Hatzlacha, ahavayirah.

Shlomo24 wrote on 06 Dec 2016 17:12:

Well, if it's in the head only it's working on the head only, whereas if it's factual, usually there's some physical chemistry going on which makes it way harder, at least that's my experience, maybe it doesn't make a difference to other ppl, donno....

Welcome Ahavayirah,
I am sorry you find yourself in this predicament. Do you have a rebbi you can go to for advice?
Good luck

360gye wrote on 06 Dec 2016 17:18:

I second that.

Welcome brother

I feel for you in your situation. You gonna change your job? Move to Marz cos men are from there?
Hashem will send your salvation here if you don't rely on him and take a back seat.
Move to the front of the Truck and let GD GuiDe you DuDe

I agree. A person can not run away from himself... I hope GD will show me the way...

I'm afraid hope will not help you here.  MAKE GEDARIM and MAKE THEM FAST.  Even if it is VERY uncomfortable.  GEDARIM are there for a reason.  If you don't put a wedge between the 2 of you somehow, this will not end pretty.  DO NOT take this lightly.  You MUST TAKE action BEFORE you end up in a compromising situation. DO NOT WAIT. Do not think, ponder, hope... JUST ACT.

DON'T KNOW what to tell you specifically, since I don't know the exact situation.  BUT PLEEEEASE, for your sake, your wife? children?  People loose everything dear to them.  DON'T BE ONE OF THEM.

Please report back and let us know how it's going.

I wish you all the best.

gibbor120 wrote on 06 Dec 2016 18:46:


WOW! now that was a powerful message.
Thank you gibbor120 - I think I will change my name to gibbor121