my name is meier ive been struggling with the urge to look at inappropiate pics and vids since i saw my fathers photography books wich were full of nude woman. (all in the name of ART of course). at age 10
i was pretty much able to control the urge till my job required me to get a smart phone at wich time i became a binge porner i could go for months without the urge or when i got one i was able to outlst it but in the end i always caved my binges could last anywhere from a day (all day)to afew days.than i would be sick with myself and tell myself all that thats it im done but of course that lasted till the next time and most of you can imagine the rest
what really gave me my personal kick in the butt and jolted me into realizing that i need help was that the last (hopefully forever)act of my latest binge came afew days before my wife went to the mikvah after a very late stage misscarriage
when the low after the fake high hit me i was crushed sick with myself and fatalistic.
first i confessed  EVERYTHING to my wife we had a rocky time of it i guess my only saving grace is that BH im a pretty decent husband and father and our good times outdid the bad times.BH my wife is determined to help me fight this addiction.she is my confidant and my rock.i've told her what moods and actions to look out for (withdrawn,impatience,lack of excitment for intimacy,using the bathroom way to often,staying out,etc) so she should know to reach out and force the issue. we talk about it every day.
the next thing i did was join GYE.
I have been clean for 30 days but that does'nt exite me because like i wrote before i can go months without a binge.but hopefully with hashem help and  my wifes support and GYE i can learn to be a winner.
 like winston churchill said after the allied invasion of north africa in world war 2 
             "Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning."

Welcome!  Wow! You've got guts!  and a healthy dose of honesty.  It's nice to have you on board.  Please keep sharing with us.

Hopefully hashem will give  the "real guts" to stay clean

Welcome brother
Hashem gave you brains

You have the guts

Hi Meier,

I see that you're still around, do you want to give us an update?
It will push your thread to the top (although I just did that   ).

BH still going strong life at home has never been better 

Meier wrote on 28 Sep 2016 21:20:

Hi Meier,
Glad to see you're still going strong.
I can't be lengthy now, but just be aware of what has been written elsewhere, and experienced by me personally, that being your policeman may be a major stress for her, with negative repercussions in the long term.

עלה והצלח!

II like the intro and the strength.

Keep it up!