Hi, everybody.

I am a 20 year old college student. I have been struggling with the viewing of inappropriate images for years. I always thought I could beat it on my own, but I cannot. I found ways around filters and programs. 

I thought I had gotten over it when I went to learn in Israel after high school and didn't feel any temptation to look at things there, despite having access to internet. But when I came back after a year, slowly but surely I found myself Googling assur things again. 

So, here I am, hoping to finally conquer this thing once and for all.

-Slippingjew

Welcome,
We are here to support you and give you chizuk. Check out the website and see the various tools that are offered.
Hatzlacha,
360gye 

Welcome!

Great to have you with on the ride!!!

WELCOME!
Take the initial assessment, be honest with yourself, and you'll find plenty of help here.
But whatever you do, stick around and don't get lost!

Hi, I'm also a 20-year old college student. I struggled a lot with lust, (I still have temptations, just I deal with them now), and thank God I have found much success and happiness in my life. Welcome!

Welcome to the forum.  There's a lot of hope here for you.

Welcome! Read the handbook.  Check out some of the links in my signature, and keep on posting. 

So, I had a fall (though BH only with my eyes).

When I joined, I was doing so well for a few weeks, so I never got into a habit of posting in my personal diary on the forums, which led me to lose the sense of responsibility I felt towards all of you on GYE that I have to improve. I also did not properly set up any sort of "punishment" on myself for a fall, so I guess it was bound to happen. I felt at the beginning that just signing up would solve the problem, but I so clearly see my poor judgement now.

I had been struggling to restrain myself for a week or so now, and although I did view inappropriate images over those days, each time I was able to at least catch myself a few minutes in and and remember that I had a commitment to myself and to all of you to keep. So, those weren't enough of an impetus to get me to update that I had a fall and ruin my streak (which, I realize is so, SO against the whole point of the system that we have here, so I will iy'H be changing that permissive attitude). 

What I have realized is, that at certain times, a thought will pop into my head to just go searching on the internet for smut. And a relatively powerful mental response and defense against that is me realizing that it is so pointless to look at inappropriate images, that it is a massive time killer, with no real pleasure achieved and is ultimately so so so plain stupid (I, for the most part, do not fall regarding shichvas zera, however I have had periods of not controlling myself in the past). However, this sort of thought process doesn't work if I can only cull up these thoughts after I start browsing. Anyways, this is obviously apart from the more important issue of the fact that it is sin and damaging. It was just something I realized.

Hopefully I can come out of this Shabbos on the right foot and have a productive and positive Motzash (I have a really busy semester with plenty of work and hard courses!!!)

Looks like you're learning what isn't enough. Maybe go through the guidebook to find more tools before you're next fall.

Hatzlacha! (with you're schoolwork too)

Welcome slippingjew.
Please be very aware that anxiety is a great motivator in causing a person to act out. It becomes a sort of drug of choice for us.
A serious student is constantly under pressure and I suggest you create for yourself  alternate ways of dealing with your stress - keep a list of wholesome, enjoyable chiller outlets -so whenthe nerves  kick in you know how to handle it.

yiraishamaim wrote on 06 Nov 2016 04:50:

II suggest analyzing why you are stressed and learn how to outthink those inner demons.

Cbt is one way.

I wish I had taken the positive steps you are taking when I was 20 (although I guess GYE didn't exist yet.)
Welcome and Hatzlacha

Welcome! I also had a year in israel and even those last few weeks I fell badly, finding unprotected wifi and just looking at anything and everything.

I think catching yourself looking at inappropriate images before it's too late is a big level (provided it hasn't been like 3 hours or so )

Keep it up. Use the tools. It works!

I understand your struggle. In a lot of ways it sounds like your post is describing me, although I have since graduated. I must say, however, that it sounds like you are doing much better than I was in college, for I had much less self control than you seem to be exhibiting. 

A big part of the struggle for me in college, and I imagine for you as well, is that you are really stressed and busy with your school work, and your brain is looking for a quick stress relief. And unfortunately, finding smut on the internet is really easy and quick (not that we don't waste significant time when we find it). Perhaps something for you too explore is the Taphsic method, which can encourage you to find other stress relievers and make internet smut a less convenient outlet for your stress. And of course, sign up for the 90 day chart so you can have a tangible display of your successes.

All the best, and please keep us posted!

LifneiHashem wrote on 05 Dec 2016 01:08:

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