I've been a GYE member for almost a year now. I've been coming to the site off and on for much of that time. The last time was a long time ago back in January. I hadn't even realized it had been so long. I have been really anxious and somewhat depressed lately. I have a  lot of pressure from work and financially at home. I am mostly depressed at my complete loss of control in my life with regard to acting out. The anxiety is mostly from work and home pressures. The combination has gotten stronger lately and I have been acting out much more frequently. I need help! That's the plain and simple truth. I have been battling this addiction since I was nine and I cant take it anymore. I need a way out. Right now my family doesn't know about my addiction and so maybe I haven't hit rock bottom yet but I am not sure that that is a bottom I would be able to recover from. I think that the revocation of any trust my wife has in me would send me to a place of depression and despair from which I might never recover. Every now and again I have a moment of lucidity and feel a desire to regain control. I know that this site has the proper tools to help me along the way but I feel that I need some more accountability not just to myself but to someone else. Someone who can maybe encourage me to make progress and follow the steps on this site. Someone to help pick me up when I fall and encourage to do battle again. I am literally  begging. If there is someone out there that understand my struggle and can help me get on my feet please show me the way. I have tried so many times and failed. I have made so many excuses and lied to myself so many times. I cant go on like this anymore. Please help.

hi, i know exactly how you feel I'm new to this site and I don't think I'm the one to give you advice as I had told my wife about 6 months after we got married and it has been a huge roller coster the past two years.
 down ,depressed, stressed are what gets me im currently looking for a job and I owe 20,000 in debt the only thing that helps me is structure where i can see consistency and progress I work out every day I'm on a diet etc. so I find some way to feel the accomplishment to feel good despite the goings on around me. 
       another thing that helps me is putting everything in perspective writing it all down to know exactly where you stand financially ,schedule ,and ruchnius 
   if you would like to start the steps with someone to progress together private message me 
 I know you can succeed looking forward

I'm relatively new to this site. The life's pressures I feel add considerably to my risk of acting out. Each day and each moment is a new battle. I wish I knew how to make it through each day. Each day I start off knowing that due to the pressure I feel, I must - no I definitely will act out. I recently disconnected the internet from all my home computers except this one which I use for business and which is heavily filtered. Yet each day is still a battle. 

Welcome to you all!

im also new to this site a few weeks or so, start browsing the site there are tons of tools which can help everyone, don't give up you can do it and so have many others.

me to i just filtered my phone and laptop its the only way other wise at weak times all convictions go out the window and the only thing stoping me is that there is no access 

did you read the handbook?

i glanced at it. its on my agenda today as i just joined yesterday

When anxiety, depression, financial stress, etc, are big factors in the addiction, the 12-Step program can change your life.

If you feel helpless and ready to do whatever it takes, send me an email to gye.help@gmail.com and I will give you the personal phone number of Dov who is clean in SA for 19 years. A good talk with him can set you on the right path.

The 12-Steps were developed back in the 1930’s by a group of alcoholics. These people had tried everything in the world, and yet they could not stop their addiction to alcohol even though it was completely destroying their lives. Somehow, Hashem opened their eyes to a simple spiritual program of 12-Steps that began helping even the worst cases to recover. The success of this program slowly spread, and today there are thousands of 12-Step groups throughout the world for every type of addiction, whether it’s alcohol, gambling, over-eating, narcotics, or sexual addiction. This simple program has helped millions of people to recover from even the strongest cases of addiction. The 12-Steps work best when worked together as a group, and with a sponsor.

Click here to listen to a four part workshop on the 12-Steps from Daniel-UK, that will give you a great overview of how the program works and how it can change your life.

Click here to listen to a twelve part workshop on the 12-Steps from Dov (who is sober in SA for 18+ years) to understand how to make the 12-Step program work for you.

The sadness and despair of the last (many) weeks are over

We finally have the.guard back on the forum!!!!!!

Time to celebrate 

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thank you 
getting better 247. i hope you get advice in regards to you wife that is the hardest i can tell you it has to be done very carefully

I know how that feeling. Lots of debt, not sure if there will be a way to pay it. The days when I don't do too well in business and have nothing to show for myself but bills are my hardest days. Sunday's when I do the family finances and have some time to myself are the worst. I am usually so depressed by Sunday night and so anxious Monday morning i actually feel a ill. I may very well take you up on the partnership offer.