Fb2016fbt wrote on 05 Jul 2016 17:38:

You first need to decide for yourself if you're ready to stop with porn and masturbation.
If you're ready to give it up, then it is the time to make a plan, and start reading and alike.
Why wait till you get into trouble???????????????????????????
Without knowing you, just the fact that your posting here, and that you made an online test shows that your in some type of trouble. NO?

You don't miss out by quitting porn, just the opposite!!
best wishes


 

Watson wrote on 05 Jul 2016 18:12:

Now that I read this post, there's no reason to read any more today. Just a few minutes ago, a fellow called me with just that reaching out thingy. It works.

hi i can't help responding.back in february, you wrote:
I haven't managed stopping masturbating for more than 3 weeks in the last 10 yrs how the heck am I realistically gonna make 90 days.   Impossible

it might SEEM impossible, but it's really not.and the '90 days' is not the real stuff - it's just a jump-start.your battery ever die? what do you do? you get a jump, drive to the nearest mechanic, and you fix it for real - you get a new battery.every one starting out needs a jump-start.then, later, you can do the REAL work - whatever that is for each individual person.believe me - the 90 days IS do-able. it might be torture, so for that you have the group here which will help you.YOU CAN'T DO IT ALONE.fuggedaboudit. it's too hard to go it alone.call someone every day.[; if it's someone you like, - you won't want to disappoint him.do this for a couple of years, THEN start looking for a REAL solution,but you have to get out of the morass - IF you want to that is.and by the fact that you're posting here, it seemes that you DO want to break free.so 2 things 1 - it aint easy.and 2 - you can't do it alone.and do the 90 days - it'll be torture, but you gotta do it for your own sanity.
b'ahavas chaverim, jack

I've been following the convo here

A day in the life of Gye...

We used to be addicted to ***

We have replaced our addiction with a diehard passion for one another

Can we change anyone else? Usually it comes from within

Can we change ourselves?
Im still trying to figure that out myself

I have one problem with calling someone. I have never told anyone ever about my problem and take it or leave it, I only want to go through recovery by myself. Whether it's the society that we frum people live in or just a personal insecurity, I will absolutely not open up to anyone about my problem. This could be a result of not having any serious consequences-that I've seen- from my actions, but I'm not at the point where I'm so messed up that I want to start telling people about this issue. I know I'd ranted beat t before I hit rock bottom, but I'm stubborn.  I know I'm going to get blasted for this but I do want to know what u guys have to say about this and if it's possible to do it alone.
i just don't think the 12 steps ever talked to me, maybe it's bec I never really understood them but either way I didn't feel like I got anything ohr of it
 

I wasn't talking about calling people per se, I was just talking about willingness.

I completely understand "I only want to go through recovery by myself.......absolutely not open up to anyone," I felt that way for a few years, both before and after joining GYE. The only reason I finally opened up to others was because I had no other choice.

You said "I thought that I had beaten the sickness".  Now you say "I took an online porn addiction test and it said I wasn't addicted".  Which is it?

You may not do anything until you get into trouble.  That is the way it goes for many, perhaps most, of us.  We like doing things the hard way :sigh:

Meaning I know it's a sickness as I understand how it could mess up my life in the future, however, when I'm in the moment, I suddenly forget that. However, the test said that I'm not addicted as its not taking control of my life-i don't miss chavrusas for this kind of stuff, it's not(yet) taking over my life, it's just a problem that I do and j would like to stop. 

Fb2016fbt wrote:

If someone's gonna get blasted for something, it's me...

I left yeshiva a few years ago
When there I'd Mast* every 2 - 3 weeks, and I was a more chashuva bachur than you, and it was out of control, but I didn't feel I had hit rock bottom

I promise you I would never had shared my dark secret with ANYONE

Its true that as an Asperger my communication is weaker than it is for others, and hence I didn't have a close relationship with anyone in real life (do I have one now)

What works for me is to post daily on gye, and some other stuff like you may see on my thread

If doing what I do works for you, cool

If not, you have my blessings to try something else, for no extra charge

KEEP SHTEIGINGGGGGGG!!!!

Fb2016fbt wrote on 06 Jul 2016 23:22:

We dont really forget, better said we don't have the control to say NO.
Even if your not an addict, watching porn is very addictive and destructive!!!
Look hereguardyoureyes.com/articles/rabbi-twerski/item/do-i-have-an-addiction


 

Listen if you don't think you're an addict then you very well may not be one. Would you even want to stop p&m if you weren't Jewish?

Until you reach that stage (if at all) then just figure out what tools work for you.

I fell daily since childhood until I found gye. I simply didn't have the tools to stop. Read the handbook and come up with a plan. Connecting with others is a great idea. I didn't call anyone until i was already extremely friendly with them from chatting on the site.

Keep on posting, and keep on trying until you find what you need.

doingtshuva wrote on 07 Jul 2016 07:04:

Nice and succint thanks for the link

So it's great to hear everyone be maskim that I don't have to open up with anyone about the issue. I believe that since I always thought I was going to have to tell people, it held me back since I knew I wasn't going to take that step. 
Hopefully now I can go further in my journey to conquering this thing forever 

I don't know if everyone is maskim.  You may or may not have to open up in order to have success.  For now, you are choosing not.  If things get worse, you may change your mind.  None of us wanted to tell.  We were all forced in one way or another.  Either by being found out, or by suffering so much that we had no choice, we needed help.  Perhaps there are some that told before reaching that point, but I don't think it's common.  Keep us posted.

gibbor120 wrote on 11 Jul 2016 19:42:

Maskim.