Hey you're a group leader - how about do a group call with 14 friends right now

if some guys cant make it - its their loss

OTR wrote on 25 Feb 2016 00:36:

Great to hear.
Keep us posted.

OTR, Any updates? 
Hope you're doing well.

Yeah bh I made it through. I need to set up an action plan though for when I feel at risk of acting out again.. 

OTR wrote on 25 Feb 2016 02:52:

And in the process you gave every one of us some more strength to KOT!

Thanks guys. I have to really internalize this concept of surrender. At this point in my recovery, my 'higher power' is a group or a friend. And I need people who I can call and talk to when I feel low.  

R' OTR, you made it onto the email group.

Reb Cords, I can not tell you enough what an impression this concept of surrender to the group has made on me. Helping me to reframe how I view my whole recovery. Knowing A: That i can not fight, B If I fight I will lose... leaves me no alternative but to reach out for help when I need it. - That could be reaching out to Hashem, or reaching out to a group. - You did a big chesed. 

OTR wrote on 26 Feb 2016 05:31:

it is truly my pleasure.
I am merely an iberzugger.

B'hatzlachah to all

Today's thought... I was not too much on the forum, and missed my phone conference. I was actually beginning to forget that I am a sick person in need of help to get better. Thus, I am beginning to feel the 'itch' to act out. - I need to hang around some more with other sick people to start feeling better... 

OTR wrote:

You sound like a newcomer (just kidding), so here's the welcome package

Oh my....!!! Story of my life. Start getting it together. Forgetting that I am ill. Feeling confident. Not recognizing that anxious feeling for what it really is. Then ... just one quick peek just out of curiosity - of course not becasue of any sexual feelings.... then -- hours and hours AWOL. Hashem help us! 

OTR, thanks for the reminder.

OTR wrote on 01 Mar 2016 03:35:

Hmm, I think there is another itchy individual on this site. Now where is he... I can't seem to find him...

realsimcha wrote on 01 Mar 2016 04:10:



If for yu it its only hours of acting out your in good shape. Unfortunately the scenario I describe goes on for days weeks and months at a time in a never ending cycle. That's just it, there is no end to the madness of this cycle. 

Realizing I am an addict was at first liberating. You know, call myself an addict feel great, go on staying sober whoopee! But realizing this has also started bugging me a bit. It means I have to look at myself as seomthing wrong with me. Which there is. Maybe that is why I am able to act normally when I do. Deep down, I know there is something wrong... trying to fake it, I am faking myself out and lying to yourself never works.. in the end. At least I am being honest with myself. I am an addict. Not just a guy who can look a little at porn. Or masturbate a little... I can't control myself in that way. I am unfortunately experiencing the ramifications of my lust in a painful physical way right now. Further proof. If I needed any. 

Hey maybe I could make up T shirts- "HAppiness is Being a Sex Addict" - Hug Me, I'm a Compulsive Masturbator... On second thought.... I'll stick with working recovery... 

[quote="OTR" post=279860 date=1456873348]





SA will have you call yourself an addict.

My therapist once told me it would be better if I said "I have an addiction", rather than calling MYSELF an addict.

The difference is how you view yourself.

Are you a problematic individual?
Or are you a fine individual who happens to have an addiction.

Very technical?
Maybe.

But it may be helpful for some.

Of course, most guys here will shray chay v'kayom at the very thought of not calling yourself an addict...