shmirashachaim wrote:

What, you're training to be a gynecologist?

Well then go ahead and read this thread

Markz, you consistently baffle me on your ability to pull anything on anything from these forums (k that was from your lust towing but still)

What I am doing has very much relevance to that, perhaps a little worse though (not in the long run necessarily but right now) But now that you bring it up ill say that I don't understand how any of these frum guys get into these type of jobs. There is a frum OBGYM in the community who everyone goes to, and it's accepted. I just don't understand why though. There are dozens of parnasahs out there, why put yourself through one where your looking at women's bodies/ervah's all day. I'll add that my limited knowledge and my inquiries in high school tells me that these types of stories in navi/chazal apply only to those times, and current Halacha forbids us from such things as our yarida makes all of us influenced. Again that's just my ameratzis understanding. 
This question likely has more relevance to me than stam curiosity, so appreciate this.

It's not necessarily true especially since you yourself mentioned the word "erva"

Our problem is that we lust even about a pinky. There are many Frum photographers that will take family pictures and single poses, which I could never do, because my brain is wired in such a way that I can't easily look at a girl without objectifying her. Yeah if I don't take the first drink / look I'm fine. But does that mean all Frum photographers are lust addicts?
 

Interesting. thanks.

 

I'm still not feeling well. I'm stressing out on this stuff. im calling it a night.
if I go to sleep that most probably means won't cover all material needed. 

may Hashem be with me

gn

לילה טוב

Markz what I think you are saying theoretically makes sense, but not all to clear if I understand your point, and if I do can you just confirm that it's true lemiesa?
I have always thought that everyone is affected by women by just being a guy. That's nature. A lustaholic might pervert everything to lust (as I have done countless of times in the past) but does that negate that every normally functioning guy isn't immune to tyvah? I'm just not getting what your saying. Is the whole concept of shmiras einaim irrelevant if your not hooked on porn? A lot of chashava people are careful not to go to certain places and Guard Their Eyes. Are you proposing their minds are in "addict mode" as you say? Or perhaps, how I underwood it, that theyre in such "positive" mode this stuff affects them even more?
Basically, I understand your point about how when the brain waves are in "addict" mode, even innocent things could become not so innocent, but I don't see the flip side that if the brainwaves are positive then alls good. Hard for me to believe that because one is not an addict he can look at unclothed ladies all day. But I guess I'm wrong as its acceptable.

Perhaps my mind is so messed up that I think everyone is messed up(human)?

And that's what's incredible about gye

Yaakov provides out of the box tools for us to get out of the cycle (and into the Truck), which we aren't able to accomplish ourselves with our own preconceived ideas, eg another Mussar Seder which I know how to really learn as Reb Yisrael Salanter prescribed, and nevertheless didn't help remove my lust

IMHO this is because we need to know how to live before taking the next step and practicing a religious lifestyle. What Dov sweetly calls "Derech Eretz Kadma Latorah"

GYE offers us Derech Eretz, so have the Derech Eretz and utilize it

Mr shmirah,

May I repeat what I wrote to you the last time I posted on this thread? 
Say goodbye for a week or two.

Either way, B'hatzlachah

shmirashachaim wrote:

Waiting for the suggestion.

any update on the calls? Perhaps that's the next move

I'm just hoping it's not SAA meetings:grimacing:

I'm only stating my unprofessional opinion here;

Skep says "tell your wife". I'm not saying you should, but shemira you must start already driving on a real recovery road and not rely entirely on this forum which seems to me an off road dirt track which only helps a select few. How many guys are like me that are clean long term with daily forum posting? Almost no one

Thats the reality

I cannot tell you to tell your wife. But if you do, and don't want to tell her 10 years down the line, then it would do you good to heed cordnoys call before another 10 years pass

Please keep us posted

I know you'll be ok and will miss you

Good Shabbos 

Whatever you feel comfortable with.

My email is below.

B'hatzlachah

Shemira

The other thread is gone :-(

I have been praying for you. and hope you are not gone :-)

Please keep us posted or send me your email address