For me not having a Filter is like an alcoholic in recovery entering a Bar
But he can buy his whisky in every supermarket? Thats right but to the bar you go to drink.
The same is with the Internet, we misused it for porn or for any other forbidden pleasure. so our addiction will automatically drive us off the road, therefore we need Filters accountability and all the boundaries we set up not to fall.
A Filter is to help you and if you fool him, you fooled yourself.

I'm still a little confused. You came here because of something you did in real life, not from behind a computer screen, but now we've been discussing a filter for a while. The tone has totally changed.

I have found that, for myself, if I do not treat my sexahloism I will always go back to acting out. Every time. I have no choice. The obsession of my mind for lust will beat my willpower every time.

I have broken the filter more times than I can count. (Cos I broke the filter lots of times, not cos I can't count very high.) Then I got a much better filter and I lusted by trying to break it. Eventually I got so frustrated that I couldn't get round it that I just had to act out anyway.

Without treating the sexaholism I will act out again, filter or no filter. If someone locked me in a room with no windows and no computer I'd still be able to lust and act out. And if I was not acting out but had not addressed the sexaholism, I'd go crazy. Sober but crazy.

So what's the real issue here? Why did you join GYE? What's the core problem? And, in your heart of hearts, do you think you can stop?

I am far from a recovered person myself and I was mekabel not to stick my two sense in too often. However, I have read lots of the back and forths about filters and as one who fell backwards a few times I feel it would be vital to share my own persoanl expeirience Often the way I fall back is not just oh one day I wake up and say hey lets lust and go back to old averious. Rather it starts with my mind saying hey I won't lust or follow social media, dating sites, porn etc.. But I just want to see whats going on there. What are the latest posts, ads or semi tznuis pics. Then I slowly shelp my way back in. What a filter does is, it stops that first drink. So when I am just "checking it out" it stops me. Once I am dying for it yes it won't stop but its that first drink that it stops. Unfortantley, on my work devices I have no control or admin rights to add filters. BH my company switched filters to a stronger one and I did help for a while. I wish I could block more. 

My main point everyone is right, filters won't solve the underlying lust problem. yes guns don't kill people kill. But Rome wasn't built overnight. Ridding lust is a process and multi step. While struggling to recover we don't want the vodaka waived in our face.
So we really need both.

Watson wrote:


I can't express it as well as the Dr, Thanks man

This is why I repeat my request, and forgive me for that, but when lust reaches the point of acting out with real people, FORGET ABOUT A FILTER as a first step

In any case Reb Kedusha you demonstrated yourself how helpful a filter is in your current state, when within a minute of installing one you were figuring how to override it
So guys, I don't see why you are all expending so much energy here - the filter emphasis at this time is pointless

Further - as is general policy - we like to advise BASED ON OUR EXPERIENCES, and I feel whoever hasn't had the struggle Reb Kedusha has, may not know what can help him
If you'd like to see example of poor mIs-placed advice, please see "Free Towing" here

I personally believe that when dealing with such a struggle, more profound recovery tools are necessary, and with those tools a filter may not be needed AT ALL

So let the Trucking begin!!!

My advice for what it's worth:

1) Install a strong filter
2) Forget about the filter
3) Work on recovery

Watson wrote on Unknown:

Waston - I would start with #3 then #1 and only then #2
it's a chut hameshlush shelo bimheira yinatek

markz wrote on Unknown:

There are varying mehalchim within SA and SAA in terms of filtering so I think that proclaiming one mehalech pointless is a little immature. My sponsors tradition is a filter right away. The goal is not that it would keep the person sober, but he believes it is a step in the right direction.

He took that step already, and that's when I wrote that further emphasis can be pointless at this point

I think my sharp talk isn't good - look what happened - a few hours after that one yesterday, the website closed shop :-(

I don't think that installing a filter where you are the password holder is called "taking a step," but I suppose that there are those that may disagree.

markz wrote on Unknown:

I hear where you are coming from, but my personal opinion is that this thread has already ventured into a side topic. I forgot about the person who started the thread to be honest . There's nothing wrong with having a general discussion about filters. It's been a while since everyone chimed in on a topic.

I thank Hashem everyday for my filter.
Sounds like some sweet yiden here feel like it's momesh yehrog val yavor to have a filter
 

Before this gets out of hand
I NEED A FILTER  - URGENT

This shikse is triggering me

Do you live in an igloo? Cave? Have you never seen a woman before

oh ok I got it - I see your cute avatar image - you're wearing those cool glasses we sold from the 'gye men's office'

keep them on when you swing from your tree onto gye too, and you'll be fine 

markz wrote on Unknown:

I don't want to open my mouth to tell you if or what kind of women I have seen before I came to GYE.
Can't you take a joke from a monkey?
Monkeys don't like Igloos, they like going bananas