Hi GYE community!,
    My name is Aryeh. I have been a masturbation and pornogaphy addict for the past 3 years, but I think my struggles started before that. Being a teenager is scary and confusing as it is, so this addiction has started to cause me depression. 
But enough about that! It's almost shabbos, and BH I've taken the first real step into recovery since this whole mess started years ago. 
I found out about GYE last summer in camp, when i spotted a shmiras eynayim book. While everyone was at breakfast, I read the whole thing and saw that it recommended this website, but I haven't been motivated till now. 
One of the reasons I wanted to go to camp was to get away from the garbage of the internet, and BH I only slipped twice, the whole month I was there. 
on the way home I thought to myself that I was a better person and that I would never sin again. Well, I got home exAusted, said hello to my family. I then flopped onto bed and decided to check on my iPod what was going on in the world. "Just A peek" I thought. 3 minutes later  and a whole month of refraining was down the drain. 
My addiction then came back stronger then ever. Not even starting high school, starting yeshiva, coming home 10:00 at night, was enough to tame it. Instead of dealing with life's challenges and boredom, i simple strapped on my headphones and escaped from the world. 
A couple of days ago something bad happend while I was satisfying my lust. Something really bad, which I might not ever tell anybody. I sat there shaking, not even able to cry. 
Then, with the holy opposite of my impulses i tapped on my screen and found myself here. 
The videos I watched and the stories I read, inspired me to no end. At first, the idea of telling another person about my problems terrified me. 
An hour later however, I had a GYE account set up and had 2 partners requested. I fell asleep,2:00 in the morning, satisfied that I was on the road to recovery.

ive had a lot of ups and downs in my life, hopefully I'm on a long way up. I'm only 2 days in from the 90, and I haven't felt so elevated in my learning In a long time. That does not mean I am cured.  Even now as I am writing this, I can feel the yetzar Hara at my shoulder. I'm not sure what I will do yet, but I do know this. I am not a bad person. I am a good person, who sometimes does bad things.
Have a good shabbos,
Aryeh
PS.
i emailed GYE with a question about the partner program 2 days ago. Anybody know how long it takes to get back to you? 
 

Welcome!

Its great to hear you're excited!

I want to recommend one thing, it's only a very small upgrade more than you wrote

Please read some success stories of real guys here found on the "Free Towing" page (see my signature), and reach out to one of them - push one of them to partner with you - you will gain tremendous help, e.g. cordnoy, skep, dov....

I wish only the best for you
ברכה והצלחה

Welcome

Your road to recovery should be blessed with hatzlachah.

Welcome! You should be very thankful to Hashem for guiding you to GYE at your young age. If only I discovered GYE in my teens I may have not wasted some of my prime years in Yeshiva. I strongly suggest reading the GYE Handbook for starters.
Hatzlacha!
 

Welcome! Great share. The partner program is a little bit shvach here, it depends on who the person is if they respond. If you would like we can be in touch, my email is in my signature.

Hatzlacha Rabah.

WELCOME!  The earlier you tackle this the better.  Many of us  have suffered for decades.  This will not go away by itself.  Do you have a rebbi you could confide in?   A mentor of some sort?

Either way, make yourself at home here.  Keep posting.   There's nothing you could tell us that we haven't heard before.  We are all in the same boat more or less.  The more you open up, the more freedom you will feel.

Hatzlacha!

Jewteenner wrote on 05 Feb 2016 19:18:

Hello, Welcome. I don't know why I  haven't come upon this topic before.
We are all Tzaddikim in HaShem's eyes. 
We may act like jerks, but we are still good people.
I read that Jihadi John has been brought back from the dead.  This is basically crap. All it is a way for your money, same with porn sites and adult videos. They just want your money. They don't care about if it degrades people. 

Thank You HaShem for making me the better person and making me decide what porn really does to a person.
As far as Masturbation goes... I'll have to get back to you on that. 

I hope you get stronger and wiser every day.
Hatzlacha... Shmuly
Look at my signature. 

You seem to be in good hands so I'm just chiming in to say welcome.


KOP! (keep on posting)