Not sure what to say other than my life is in the balance and I need help to make the changes necessary to change my behavior and save my marriage.

Welcome. That's a pretty good way to start.

Welcome - one of the first trucks I crashed met when I joined this site was BigMoish's, follow it and you'll be ok

All the best!!

WELCOME!

Welcome! Have you read the handbook? What is going on with your life and marriage?

Not yet, but I will this week. As for my life and my wife, that's a complicated matter. My secret life is out in the open now and my wife and I are trying to come to grips with it. I've promised to get help and change, but she is doubtful. I've been here before and failed.

lastchance1948 wrote:


Welcome,

There are others in the same boat as you.
There are also those who can guide you in this situation.
Reach out.

B'hatzlachah

Thank you all for your responses. I had forgotten how good it can be to realize that I'm not alone.

Welcome aboard. Definitely look around and check out the different forums, people's different posts, and how they share their experiences. Check out the links in The signature or a guy named Markz- he has great resources, and check out cordnoy as well. Both have a lot to offer.

What a lot of people find very helpful is to actually share the specifics of their story and their struggle- I have been doing x for this amount of years, I struggle with ---- and my wife found out about -----. Chances are that you'll find someone who has gone through some of your experiences, and has wisdom to share. Just jump in.

Of course, I'm not pushing you-just encouraging you. But know that we're with you, and as you said you're not alone.

Welcome (back?)!
I 2nd what WorkingGuy said. Without knowing what your "Secret Life" entails it's hard to give specific advice.
I feel for you. It must be horrible with your secret life out in the open. Perhaps there's a silver lining. Maybe this is what you need to really recover? Perhaps you've finally "Hit bottom" and will come to realize how unmanageable your life is currently. Maybe you'll actually WANT to stop, not just "Should" or "Have" to stop?
Just a thought.
Hatzlacha!

Of course you're right so here goes.

I've been masturbating since puberty and hooked on porn since my teens. Now I'm 67 years old. My particular field of "interest" is women's bodies (not interested in looking at sex acts) of all shapes and sizes. I've never been with a prostitute and never cheated on my wife. All my viewing took place on the internet. My addiction was partly to blame for the end of my first marriage which only lasted five years. I've been married to my current wife for 21 years. During that time my addiction became known to her and I went into recovery for a while. When I slipped back, about two years ago, I kept it a secret from her and that secret has recently come to light. She is very hurt and has lost all faith in me. I've promised to get "sober", but she doesn't believe me and I understand why. I joined GYE to give me the daily support I need. I know I can't do this by myself. I will also start to attend in person SA meetings this week. I'm committed to making this work and the thought of losing my wife is devastating to me.

As for my faith, it's been severely challenged over the years. I'm not sure what my "higher power" is anymore and that is something else I need to work on to succeed. Thanks for caring.

lastchance1948 wrote:


Thank you for that share.
May God be with you in recovery.
Sounds like you have a real decent plan in place.

Yes, but I'm sure you know the saying "Man plans and God laughs".

lastchance1948 wrote:
Gd wants you to change your life so that you both laugh

There are plans and there are plans - I don't know if you ever had a plan that worked.
There's doing and there's 'trying'

If you commit for the next 3 months to reach out to someone good like cordnoy, that's real doing

All the best

I am very committed. If I fail my life will be shattered.