Hi my brothers and friends
Im a chasidshe bocher I'm in the mid 20's and I'm struggling with m. since about 8/9 years and from p. the last few years.
I'm tired of falling again and again every time I'm falling its taking me minimum a day or 2 to get back up.
I'm getting married in a few months I have to be on the halfway clean when im standing under the chupa (knowing that its a life fight).
Since I found out from GYE ( about 2 months ago) and reading a lot on the forums I saw that marriage is not helping to get rid of the lust problem its only getting worse when I have to start deal with a wife (omg if she will catch me) until I found GYE I thought that the rabbnim (רבנים) are plain staying that Internet are breaking homes when I started reading the forums I was so shocked ( b"h there is fourms were only married man that I'm not able to read it) I'm going to take a inocent girl and I'm going to make her life hell I dont want that for her
I have another problem that I'm watching TV shows I feel I need it after a hard day off working before going to learn and davin (thats against tool #3 ) I have like 2 hours before going to shul if I will have extra time its will lead to…………
im trying to listen to music and shuirim but not always its inof for me if I will have to stop watch to be clean I will do it like I will do everything
I just started again the 90 days taking it day by day so now I'm at day 1
Since I found GYE and really started to fight against lust I feel I'm fighting it the whole day that means its in the back of my mind the whole day I think its taking away a lot of my head from my job is it normal ????
I have set a storng taPHSiC fence
I put a filter and web chaver
I made a time to finish reading the GYE HANDBOOK
But I need still a lot of Chizik
Hashem I'm doing what I can now you send your guys (GYE and whoever is willing to help me ) to get me out from it

Should hashem help us fight the battle
Getting married

Mazel Tov!!

Maybe you wanna read this here

Keep on Trucking!!

Welcome to GYE and Mazal Tov. You've come to the right place.
I was also struggling with porn and masturbation for many years before I got married. I can't explain it, but for some reason from the time I got engaged I found temporary peace and the struggle seemed to magically disappear. I thought I was cured.
Fast forward about 3 years later and I was falling back into all my old behaviors. It seems the magic wore off, and I realized I'm not cured at all. I had no idea what to do to get myself out of the shmutz.
Baruch Hashem I found GYE about a month ago and I've been clean for almost a month.
How am I doing it? I'm not 100% sure. What I can tell you is that I've come to understand that the underlying drive for porn and masturbation is lust, and I've been focusing on keeping the lust down. Once the lusting reaches a certain point it's nearly impossible not to fall, so the trick seems to be not getting there in the first place.
How do you keep the lust down? I'm also not entirely sure about this, but I've learned from the chevra here that talking to Hashem and asking for His help goes a long way. In addition it's important to have some kosher thing to do to keep you busy when you're bored, as boredom is very hazardous. And of course, general shmiras einayim is probably the single biggest factor in avoiding the lust build up.
I don't think the 90 day tool itself helps directly with lust management, but it seems to be a big helper on staying focused on the whole inyan throughout the day.
I hope this makes some sense to you. May you be zocheh to build a Bayis Neeman B'Yisroel B'kdusha ub'tahara.
Hatzlacha in your journey!

i think u shuld get a partner to help u work out of this mess it can be a big help

Hi getting married!

If only i would've found out about GYE before getting married like you did, i probably wouldn't reach such a low level, and could avoid alot of problems.
You have to dance for simcha that hashem sent you to the right place in the right time.
It's a lifetime struggle, but since your'e trying to help yourself, haba letaher mesayin loi!
May you be zoicheh to start a new chapter, and build a happy & healthy relationship together.

Welcome Getting Married,

First Mazel Tov on your Shiduch. May it be a Binyan Adei Ad.

Mazel Tov on finding the right place. and to be honest you are a lucky person. Many here wish the would be here at you rage and stage. Just keep it here and be determent to do WHATEVER it takes to get sober and to recovery.

Hatzlacha

WELCOME! Reading the handbook and joining the forum are 2 good steps in the right direction. MAZAL TOV, you are smart to work on it now, keep posting.

Wow wow I'm really thrilled whats going on here looks like GYE is a 911 operator getting my welcome so fast every one with there touch in there advice its was really hard to press thd submit bottom thinking there is so much forums who will have time for me THANKS A MILLION

And it looks like you plan to be totally sober from lust before your wedding, else you'd have chosen a different name

So two feet on the gas pedal and you'll be there - just make sure to check out the havin fun section too right now - somethings happening there

I will thanks
I really want to answer everyone but i don't know how to answer a few messages in one message with copying a part of it if someone can please help me with it i will Appreciate Thanks

Hit quote on each post, select all, paste all the quotes in notepad or your email and write your reply after each persons quote, then paste back

markz wrote:

I'm only ably to qoute one at a time if I make copy paste its looks like I worte it

You think I learns all the tricks in the first week of my login? Don't worry about it
You can reply to each separately

Why did that msg duplicate?

WELCOME! to start off with a positive, it's good that you are working on yourself now and not once there are marriage implications. it seems like you put in good fences and gedarim, i wish you hatzlacha. you wanted chizuk, well you will definitely get that on these forums. for starters (like i mentioned before) you are here before your marriage started, which is a big plus and also stam that you want to work on yourself is great. many people pretend that it's not a problem or that marriage will fix them or wtvr.

Mazel tov and hatzlocha raba.