Shalom. I have been receiving chizuk e-mails about shmirat einayim for several years, and have been free of "licentious you-tube videos" for almost 2yrs - since Tu B'Shevat 5774: Baruch H'Shem. However, I am still struggling with MB. Any advice on this subject would be welcome. I consider myself a low-level addict, in regard to shmirat einayim; thank G-d that by choice I do not own a computer. Yet, I am still tempted by newspaper advertisements; on occasion, I have brought in a free newspaper with licentious advertisements. I have read the guidebook; although, I do not have a current copy; so, I should probably print out another one. I am baal-teshuvah, with a Jewish conservative background. I am essentially orthodox, now; however, I do not have much of a Hebrew or Yiddish vocabulary. I would appreciate an English translation in parentheses, if any Hebrew or Yiddish is used in your response(s). Thank you very much. Shalom. - seekingshalom

Welcome!!
Are you only looking for resources about MB - Were you not able to find anything on the Talmid Chacham Rabbi Google or Rebetzin Wiki on the topic?

Welcome! It seems as if that you are saying the problem is in your head, if the material is not readily available. Would you agree? If you don't mind me asking, why do you masturbate? What are you seeking.

Great success seekingshalom (peace)

You remind me when I was a Bucher(student) in Yeshiva(school) being able to easily restrict internet access and being able to stay out of the street as well. Unfortunately, these were not enough to stop the masturbating and had to seek further insight in the issue. One thing I learn't is that it is a lot more complex than just watching your eyes, but on top of that I gained hope to attain eventual recovery.
You should have much insight and success on your journey to rest and peace.

Shalom. I have obtained some Breslov information about Shomrei HaBris.
I am hoping to learn more; perhaps, from teachings not on the Internet.

Shalom. Thank you for your response. Although, I am not sure what you meant when you wrote, "it seems as if you are saying that the problem is in your head." Regarding your second question, it seems to be a maladaptive coping style for anger, frustration, and anxiety. Shalom, seekingshalom.

Welcome! You seem to be on your way. You recognize that anger etc. are the triggers. Work on your attitude that e/t comes from Hashem. Focus on being of service to Him. That will make a HUGE diffrence.

Keep posting.

seekingshalom wrote:


i meant that being the externals aren't a problem then the lust must lie in your head. not b/c of externals.

Shalom. Thank you for your clarification on this important issue. With what little knowledge I have of Torah, I do seem to recall that there are at least two teachings, the second being less known, on the commandment found in the Shema: "you shall not wander after your hearts and after your eyes after which you are going astray." The first is Rashi, whereby he says that first the eyes see, then the heart covets. However, I think that it is the Sfas Emes who notes that the order of the words indicate that the heart is mentioned first, then the eyes, connoting the idea that the heart leads the eyes to look. I may be oversimplifying the teaching; however, I can relate to the Sfas Emes teaching, because it is in accord with the idea that lust is internal, as you have mentioned. It is the desire in my heart that leads me to be tempted to bring in the free newspaper, rather than throwing it away in the first place, by placing it in the recycling bin. Again, thank you for your clarification, since this has helped me to gain insight.

I believe I remember seeing on this site an explanation that reconciles the two teachings. The eye sees the first glance, which may not be under our control. But then the heart covets, and that leads us to take that deliberate second look.

I think I saw the opposite. The eye only looks because the heart covets. Then the eye sees, and the heart covets.

either way, it's a viscous cycle .

how could the eye take a first look only because the heart covets? i'm not understanding. if someone walks in front of me i will see them before i lust after them.

I am walking down the street with my wife. I notice pritzus at every turn. She is oblivious to the fact that there is any pritzus at all. That is because my heart covets it, so I notice it everywhere. My wife doesn't pay attention and doesn't know it's there at all.

We see what we want to see.

Your case is different.

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