I first heard about GYE about 5 years ago. At the time I was starting to become frum and was really struggling with p**nography addiction. I introduced myself somewhere on the forum around that time, but BH things have changed and I'm in a much different position, and I'd like to get advice on how I should proceed now

Mainly through the daily chizuk emails (which were not read even close to daily by me) and my own taphsic method, I have BH gotten the addiction more under control. Whereas two years ago I was nichshal probably 3-4 times a week, now down to about once every 2 months or so.

My question is: How should I view myself? Am I an addict? While all the work that's been done on GYE is incredible and has save mine and many other lives, at times I can find it all overwhelming. Should I be going to meetings? Do I need a sponsor? Phone conference?

I've been meaning to write this post for months ago, and Baruch Hashem I finally got the koach to do it!

Welcome,
Why get involved in such deep philosophical questions? Focus on today. What can you do to make sure that today is not that once every two months? Stick around here and make yourself comfortable.

B'hatzlachah

welocme! what is happening between acting out? Is there a lot of lusting that culminates in acting out every so often, or is it more "out of the blue".

Can you pinpoint what things tend to lead to acting out? Your mood, stresses, etc.?

cordnoy wrote:

R' Cordnoy,
I think you know I have the deepest respect for you (no sarcasm intended), but I have a hard time with your post.
The OP is not only asking the philosophical question of whether he is an addict which could well be pointless, he is also asking practically what should his approach be - does he need a sponsor, meetings etc.
He introduced this question by voicing (typing?) the confusion that I often relate to. Who am I, why am I this way, how did I get to be like this, what do I need to do to change, how do I motivate myself to get my heart in sync with my head that recognizes the need for changes I don't always want.
As he has already achieved progress in decreasing the frequency of acting out, he is now looking to understand the larger picture in order to get to the next level.

I think I just don't understand your mehalech. When you talk about making sure today is not the bimonthly trip, I assume you include in that plan the steps of working on sobriety. That entails some larger picture evaluation.
Yelamdeinu Rabeinu, preferably not too cryptically or this will be me.

I don't think that someone else can answer those questions for you. I think that you would have to see in yourself. Although I have heard the phrase, "only an addict wonders if he's an addict".

eslaasos wrote:


Maybe he is, maybe he isn't. He posted once. He asked several questions. I answered one directly, and the others, I answered in general. As he continues to post, we will see what it is he wants. I don't have all the answers anyway....as a matter of fact, I have few.

B'hatzlachah

I hear cords mehalech, sure his questions are legitimate and ultimately they need to be answered.

let him warm up to the guys here. post more. engage in discussion. Listen to others. give opinions , make some mistakes, and become all the wiser.

Like the rest of us - in the course of time he will find his way and get his answers.

Remember, he is acting out every 2 months. Of course this needs to be addressed but he is not chasing his tail in the way he was when he acted out 3-4 times a week.

I appreciate you saying this. The responses I've been getting spell out exactly why I feel overwhelmed. I feel very confused as to what steps I should take to get to the next level.

Welcome!
Check out the links in my signature. The FAQ's may answer some of your questions.

Bigmoish wrote:

BigMoish I asked you once already - you have not answered me about your EMPTY FAQ!
In the meanwhile Shomereyni you can try the links in my signature
KOT!

I didn't notice any issues with the link.

This is the link that I get sent to. There's absolutely nothing there

www.guardyoureyes.com/breakingfree/faq

And while you're at it pls tell our good friend Skep. He has the same blank page link

On my computer and phone it works fine. Maybe it's you.

It might appear as a download, so look at the top of your screen where the downloads appear.