Hi

After struggling for a long time with porn i started going to massage spas where they provide more than just massages i am addicted and i am broken (i am crying while writing this) and i am considered one of the happiest persons in my community and my friends think that all is good but i am heart broken and after loosing thousands on spas and other stuff and after having marriage problems i decided enough is enough so i am looking for help and i hope with hashems help i will get free

Welcome to the group.

Some fellows pop in and out.
Others take a seat.
Those interested in improvin' move in.

Which road you takin'?

Hopefully i am here to stay, i had enough and i am invested and praying to hashem to put the Yetzer Horah on hold for a while

Welcome to the land of addicts!

Bhol You're one of us and you'll get out of this hol if you can try post post post on this forum for the next month

All the best

Thanks will do

Boruch
Hashem
Od
Lo
!

Welcome!
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Hatzlocha

Hi bhol, looks like I joined GYE the same time you did. My problems started with urges that were able to be satisfied right away and I at least had the "serenity" that my yetzer only had control over me in these instances where hurried reasoning were able compel me under the spontaneous pressure. However, as time progressed, these lusts worsened until I started going places similar to your "spa", which depressed me even further because how can I possibly get dressed, go in a car, and drive somewhere that I didn't want anything to do with?

Addiction is a messed up thing that makes no sense.. I'm committed to learn as much as I can about it and how I can break free from it. I assume you are too, and I'm looking forward doing so together! Much Hazlacha!

Welcome to GYE and I wish you much blessing and success! Part of recovery is getting away from the secrets and hiding. So please feel free to email me with your real first name and I'm happy to talk on the phone as well.

Thanks for your kind words and I wish you all the hotzlocha needed

Please don't stop writing I love to hear from people who have the same situation that I have

Thanks... There is so much to see and do on this website I'm having a hard time keeping up with it! But I of course am going to read, try to do the things I read about, and keep on writing. Because if I'm too busy doing other things to deal with this, would there really be any purpose or meaning in those things?

Welcome to GYE. I can totally relate to the struggle of not being whom you appear to be. One thing to realize, I think, is that you are not your addiction. You may be the cause of it, you may be heavily involved in it, but deep down that is not YOU. When you are able to remove yourself and take a step back you may see this more. It has helped me keep up the fight.

However you choose to fight I wish you best wishes. Keep us posted.

Abd you wrote regarding lust "deep down that is not you"

No it's not me. However it's a natural condition of mine, and with this recognition is precisely how I succeed.

What I was doing for years - which didn't work - was telling myself I am a צדיק, with some unfortunate lust spurts. Whenever that lust re-rears it's head I'll defeat it in order to retain my sanctity, and if I was defeated I was depressed. It was a losing battle.

Current strategy is that I was born with this condition like all the great guys on this website, and I will learn how to live with it, with 12 steps or whatever works

I am sorry if I was misunderstood (again). What I mean is don't give yourself the excuse of, "I'm addicted and can't be helped so I can do whatever I want" or something along those lines. If we see that we don't want that because that's not who we are, it can be motivating. You are definitely correct in your saying that lying to yourself will only hurt you in the larger scheme of things. I like how you explained that we are born with it and we need to learn to live with it, as a strategy of realization.

Thanks for the feedback