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Chasin', Pleasurin', Minimizin' by: EsLaasos
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Poll: Indulgence Chasin' with an OU by: EsLaasos

minimized other pleasures 3 18.8%
lust dissipated, replaced 8 50%
helped across the board 3 18.8%
have an opinion on this to share 2 12.5%
Total number of voters:16 ( mggsbms AlexEliezer hopeful cordnoy bigmoish neshamaincharge shlomo24 Yesod yidtryingharder stillgoing goodchange613 eslaasos Markz baaltayva Yesodi hakolhevel )
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TOPIC: Chasin', Pleasurin', Minimizin' by: EsLaasos 9330 Views

Re: Chasin', Pleasurin', Minimizin' by: EsLaasos 21 Sep 2015 15:32 #264308

  • cordnoy
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baaltayva wrote:
The only way i get my mind off of lust is by watching sports and cooking shows instead. My eyes needs video!
Baruch Hashem since ellul started I have avoided even R rated media but i have done it only by Eating alot to feed my pleasure addiction and using private time watching kosher videos.
Mu lust still is way up there though.
I'm workin'!


Welcome,

Perhaps tell us your "work" ethic.
Introduce yourself in a new thread.

b'hatzlachah
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

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Re: Chasin', Pleasurin', Minimizin' by: EsLaasos 21 Sep 2015 15:34 #264309

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markz wrote:
"You have been successfully minimizing Lust with your unique strategies. How has that impacted indulging in other pleasure outlets?

  1. I increase as replacement
  2. They have been minimized
  3. I minimize actively
  4. None"




I will leave that to EsLaasos; in my feeble mind, it looks different than his shaila.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
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https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
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MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Chasin', Pleasurin', Minimizin' by: EsLaasos 21 Sep 2015 15:37 #264312

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eslaasos wrote:
markz wrote:
"You have been successfully minimizing Lust with your unique strategies. How has that impacted indulging in other pleasure outlets?

  1. I increase as replacement
  2. They have been minimized
  3. I minimize actively
  4. None"




Thank you Mark.

I'm along the same lines as AE, but not up to his level.
Looking back, I was never that much into food or other self-indulgence until a few years ago when it started to grow, and I would occasionally cut back so I have found it to be therapeutic to cut back, and a helpful tool in feeling more in control of my urges.

The word "lust" is more specific, but I believe it can be translated into Hebrew as taavah, which is a more generic term of desire and can be applied to money, food etc. as well as women.

So I think both A and C can be true and were both true for me somewhat.

As AE points out, B is a separate issue of escapism that is commonly a co-morbid issue.


sounds confusin'...almost like geography.

Lemme know if you want me to rephrase the poll question or options.

I see you didn't vote yet. nu.....
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Chasin', Pleasurin', Minimizin' by: EsLaasos 21 Sep 2015 15:41 #264314

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cordnoy wrote:

sounds confusin'...almost like geography.

Lemme know if you want me to rephrase the poll question or options.

I see you didn't vote yet. nu.....


I guess leave it, the to and fro is available in the thread and we're all Jewishly happy to share our opinions and boich svoros.

I didn't vote because it's single choice and I couldn't select A, B & C.
Quotes that speak to me
What do we replace it with....Life (Cordnoy)
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Re: Chasin', Pleasurin', Minimizin' by: EsLaasos 21 Sep 2015 15:46 #264316

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eslaasos wrote:
cordnoy wrote:

sounds confusin'...almost like geography.

Lemme know if you want me to rephrase the poll question or options.

I see you didn't vote yet. nu.....


I guess leave it, the to and fro is available in the thread and we're all Jewishly happy to share our opinions and boich svoros.

I didn't vote because it's single choice and I couldn't select A, B & C.


well then, maybe option 4 should've been "all of the above."
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Chasin', Pleasurin', Minimizin' by: EsLaasos 21 Sep 2015 15:46 #264317

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cordnoy wrote:


sounds confusin'...almost like geography.



Could be worse...like dikduk
Quotes that speak to me
What do we replace it with....Life (Cordnoy)
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Re: Chasin', Pleasurin', Minimizin' by: EsLaasos 21 Sep 2015 15:48 #264318

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cordnoy wrote:
eslaasos wrote:
cordnoy wrote:

sounds confusin'...almost like geography.

Lemme know if you want me to rephrase the poll question or options.

I see you didn't vote yet. nu.....


I guess leave it, the to and fro is available in the thread and we're all Jewishly happy to share our opinions and boich svoros.

I didn't vote because it's single choice and I couldn't select A, B & C.


well then, maybe option 4 should've been "all of the above."


Oy, now it's almost as bad as dikduk. Fine, why not do

d. all of the above
e. Other - please clarify in a post below

Please feel free to take ownership of this poll, actually I thought that's what you were doing.
Quotes that speak to me
What do we replace it with....Life (Cordnoy)
My Thread    My Other Thread

Re: Chasin', Pleasurin', Minimizin' by: EsLaasos 22 Nov 2015 18:38 #269310

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Re: Chasin', Pleasurin', Minimizin' by: EsLaasos 08 Mar 2016 22:19 #280699

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I voted "4 - have an opinion to share," mostly to be able to suggest that IMHO, this poll (and several others that i've recently answered) should have allowed multiple choices at once (via checkboxes?, because I feel that choices 1 through 3 are all applicable to me to a certain extent:
  1. Per the concept of "Itkafia," there have been times when I've made a semi-serious effort to minimize physical pleasures in general.
  2. I clearly see that, as I've gone cold-turkey with porn and acting-out (180 days now! ), my tendency to (compulsively?) procrastinate -- including spending time on "Kosher" websites such as GYE (and NoFap.com) -- has seriously increased! 
  3. Similarly, I've noticed that over the past 180 days, I've gone into quite a "flatline" mode -- for much of this time losing interest not only in porn and acting out, but also in other aspects of physical life.  (Unfortunately, this has not yet had a similar effect on my "eating" dimension!  i'd give anything to similarly lose my interest in food! )
I invite you to follow:

Re: Chasin', Pleasurin', Minimizin' by: EsLaasos 08 Mar 2016 22:40 #280703

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So what is your plan for those other things?
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Chasin', Pleasurin', Minimizin' by: EsLaasos 08 Mar 2016 23:32 #280711

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Yesodi wrote on 08 Mar 2016 22:19:
I voted "4 - have an opinion to share," mostly to be able to suggest that IMHO, this poll (and several others that i've recently answered) should have allowed multiple choices at once (via checkboxes?, because I feel that choices 1 through 3 are all applicable to me to a certain extent:
  1. Per the concept of "Itkafia," there have been times when I've made a semi-serious effort to minimize physical pleasures in general.
  2. I clearly see that, as I've gone cold-turkey with porn and acting-out (180 days now! ), my tendency to (compulsively?) procrastinate -- including spending time on "Kosher" websites such as GYE (and NoFap.com) -- has seriously increased! 
  3. Similarly, I've noticed that over the past 180 days, I've gone into quite a "flatline" mode -- for much of this time losing interest not only in porn and acting out, but also in other aspects of physical life.  (Unfortunately, this has not yet had a similar effect on my "eating" dimension!  i'd give anything to similarly lose my interest in food! )



Interestingly, I had a similar issue with food and I would try and try to white knuckle but it didn't work. But just recently, it him me the same way acting out did- which is I just don't want to overeat now, I WANT to eat like a mentch. And it's been happening for a few days now without fighting.

Which is how I started GYE- with the realization that I don't WANT to look at anything not kosher anymore, I don't WANT to take second looks. So perhaps it can transfer.

Re: Chasin', Pleasurin', Minimizin' by: EsLaasos 09 Mar 2016 00:53 #280718

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I wish I had some control over eating. the better i am doing with lust, the worse with food. enyone have an idea? I just dont feel the strength to fight both at the same time. 

Re: Chasin', Pleasurin', Minimizin' by: EsLaasos 09 Mar 2016 00:57 #280722

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By not fightin' either of them.
Learnin' to live life properly can be beneficial for both addiction/issues.

B'hatzlachah
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Chasin', Pleasurin', Minimizin' by: EsLaasos 09 Mar 2016 01:10 #280725

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cordnoy wrote on 08 Mar 2016 22:40:
So what is your plan for those other things?

Well, if you read some of stuff in my main thread, you'll learn that my life is pretty much in shambles lately: starting with the dismal marital situation with my non-communicative wife, and continuing with my Parnasa situation.

So, my main focus is to somehow rehabilitate these two very-central pillars in my life. And, as I wrote before, I have very little idea how to break out of the paralyzing deadlock situation that I'm in.

I feel that I've taken a very significant step forward by at least stopping to believe that "I have no choice but to act out in my situation," and making a rock-solid decision to forever abstain from porn and acting-out, despite the behavior of my wife to me.

In parallel, there has also been some limited intervention by our local Rav, with limited and superficial resulting improvements so far. In light of my wife's total refusal to sanely engage in any serious dialogue, I don't have too many other options besides continuing to Daven.

In light of all of the above:
  • I don't really feel that I have the mental / spiritual / physical bandwidth available to realistically entertain any ideas I might have once had about "minimize physical pleasures in general." Maybe one day, LeAtid Lavo.
  • Regarding the "flatline" that I report -- I don't see it as such a big problem. At least regarding its sexual manifestation: on the contrary -- I embrace this change, as it makes keeping clean that much easier!
  • As for my tendency to (compulsively?) procrastinate -- and to a lesser extent regarding my tendency to eat unhealthily -- I am not sure what I can or should do. 

    For now, it seems that I will continue "trying my best," with limited results.

    I am open to somehow getting professional help with this, but in addition to not really having any direction on where/how to pursue this in an effective manner, I feel that I don't really have the budget for this either -- and certainly not for many of the BS "treatments" out there that do not help!
I invite you to follow:

Re: Chasin', Pleasurin', Minimizin' by: EsLaasos 09 Mar 2016 01:12 #280727

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realsimcha wrote on 09 Mar 2016 00:53:
I wish I had some control over eating. the better i am doing with lust, the worse with food. enyone have an idea? I just dont feel the strength to fight both at the same time. 

What you are experiencing is very common. I myself went through a stage of a lot of unmanageability around food. What worked for me was that I allow myself to eat whatever I want, I don't say "NO" to foods. However, I stop eating when I am full, no matter if I just pounded a pack of cookies or a salad. I also give myself the liberty of making healthy choices. Just today I was able to have free pizza and I was a little hungry also, I first wanted to stop myself because it wasn't healthy, but then I realized that in actuality I am just holding myself back, one slice of pizza isn't so terrible, so I ate the slice. But only one, because that is what I was hungry for. I didn't stuff my face because it was free pizza. I have found a lot of serenity doing this plan.
If you're an LGBTQ or LGBTQ-questioning person and looking for someone who can understand you, feel free to reach out. I promise no judgement and to try and listen the best I can. 

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