I will try that, but I don't think it works for me.


See below, it didn't work. I opened a new file on my desktop and put it in there. It didn't upload. I hit insert and all that stuff u said.

"Our book is meant to be suggestive only. We realize we know only a little. God will constantly disclose more to you and to us. Ask Him in your morning meditation what you can do each day for the man who is still sick. The answers will come, if your own house is in order. But obviously you cannot transmit something you haven't got. See to it that your relationship with Him is right, and great events will come to pass for you and countless others. This is the Great Fact for us." AA

Welcome to the

"Hashem, I offer myself to You to build with me and do with me as You will. Relieve me of the bondage of self that I may better do Your Will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Your Power, your Love and Your Way of life. May I do Your Will always." 3rd Step Prayer


What an interesting prayer in so many ways.

Good morning people! Hashem woke me up early today in time to get to a Sunday morning meeting. Said Modeh and the 3rd step prayer. Got my hand up and shared at the meeting. Made breakfast for the family. Getting ready to get out and do some bikur cholim. Life is good. That's what it's like now. What it was like then? I'd be sleeping after acting out all night. Or maybe I wouldn't even be home yet. The wife would be upset at me, she would isolate and the kids would be miserable. How did I get here? Hashem heard my suffering and gave me the courage to get help. On October 19th of 2014 Hashem removed the obsession from me. An obsession that engulfed my life for three decades. What was that obsession? The obsession was that I could lust like other people. The fact that every time I acted out, it lead to misery and suffering escaped me. I also believed that I could not stop. That lust was the great solution to all my problems. God took that all away from me in a moment. Does that mean I didn't have to struggle, that I didn't have temptation, that I didn't have a slip, that it didn't take constant work? No.

Hatzlacha!

All I can say is that your post just made my day.

I can't even imagine what it did for you.

"Hazorim b'deemah b'reena yiktzoru"

Reply Topic: Re: Glad to be here

Glad YOU are here

For yourself and for us!!!

serenity wrote:


I bolded the part that inspires me the most. Thanks so much for sharing!

Well done Serenity.

Serenity


I'm thankful for your post. I am coming up on 1 yr in SA, but still slip here and there with pictures of underdressed women on the internet and lusting over women on the street and at work. This is a struggle, and I feel on the inside that the obsession is isn't really gone. That Hashem has removed the obsession from the more insidious forms of acting out, but that I haven't surrendered some of the "lighter" stuff. I mean, if I've come this far, shouldn't I just beg Hakadosh Baruch Hu to finish off the obsession to the point where I'm living within the boundaries of halachah? I believe this will become my goal for the coming tekufa. If life has gotten so good for me in just one year of recovery, incomplete as it is, I cannot even imagine how good things might become if I really surrender my lust to Hashem. This is hard. I still crave the sense of love/acceptance/worth that fantasy and lust seem to offer.

Moshe271 wrote:


Moshe, if I may I would like to make 2 comments on the parts of your post that I relate to.

I have heard the concept that it's worse to steal $5 than to steal $100,000 because you could have managed fine without the $5 but the $100,000 is a much bigger temptation. It's a trick of the YH that you trivialize the smaller sins, when really it might make sense to focus specifically on the smaller stuff. "Watch the pennies and the dollars will take care of themselves".

What resonated even more is the feeling that Hashem has removed the lust addiction, but escapism is still a major issue. I have a lot of incoherent thoughts on this but nothing really productive except that I see this as possibly being my primary battlefront, and am always interested in learning new insights about it.

Continued hatzlacha!

Moshe271 wrote:



Thanks for your reply. Just to be clear, lust hasn't been removed, the obsession that it is a solution to anything for me was removed. Further the idea that it's a solution still comes up, just not the obsession.

Portion of the reading on the morning call today:

We, in our turn, sought the same escape with all the
desperation of drowning men. What seemed at first a
flimsy reed, has proved to be the loving and powerful
hand of God. A new life has been given us or, if you
prefer, “a design for living’’ that really works.


What is a drowning man doing? (Asks Captain Steve.) I'll leave the answer to you, of you care to entertain the question and make any comments about it or anything else.

serenity wrote:


Kol HaKavod for that amazing courage! I (currently) cannot even imagine myself ever talking about such things, F2F, in the context of a group, without the warm & comfy cover of Internet anonymity!

(I can and sometimes do speak freely about this topic with my wife, my Rav, and a very small number of especially-close friends. But to "publicly" do so with "strangers" -- who very likely live in my same general vicinity! -- seems to me to be "Kashe KeKri'at Yam Suf"!)