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Glad to be here
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TOPIC: Glad to be here 88764 Views

Re: Glad to be here 29 Nov 2018 15:56 #337606

  • stillgoing
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lionking wrote on 29 Nov 2018 13:51:

cordnoy wrote on 29 Nov 2018 07:19:

Cordroy ain't here!

The big question is, WHY NOT??!
Perhaps you feel like you have nothing to gain from being on the forums, however others gained tremendously from you over the years.
I beg you pardon, if the reason is family and time constraints. Please don't forsake us.
Thanks!

.Lion, when I wrote that cords is still here, I couldn't resist an old tease by writing Cordroy.  Cordnoy responded that Cordroy isn't here. Really he never was.
Sorry for confusing you. :-)
BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)

613stillgoing@gmail.com

Re: Glad to be here 29 Nov 2018 17:33 #337608

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stillgoing wrote on 29 Nov 2018 15:56:

lionking wrote on 29 Nov 2018 13:51:

cordnoy wrote on 29 Nov 2018 07:19:

Cordroy ain't here!

The big question is, WHY NOT??!
Perhaps you feel like you have nothing to gain from being on the forums, however others gained tremendously from you over the years.
I beg you pardon, if the reason is family and time constraints. Please don't forsake us.
Thanks!

.Lion, when I wrote that cords is still here, I couldn't resist an old tease by writing Cordroy.  Cordnoy responded that Cordroy isn't here. Really he never was.
Sorry for confusing you. :-)


I didn't notice the misspell. Perhaps I was under some spell. However my question remains as per the following quote below.
cordnoy wrote on 28 Nov 2018 05:44:

serenity wrote on 27 Nov 2018 20:14:

...
My first day here in 2015 Cordnoy (he still around?) asked me if I was ready to stop struggling!?
...

No, he's not.
My email address is: growinghigher613@gmail.com

Re: Glad to be here 29 Nov 2018 22:17 #337612

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I was checking back in and I was surprised to see my thread bumped up.  I usually don't remember what I wrote, but I remember that fruit fly post. 

I'm online listening to Bill S.  A man with truly amazing sobriety and humility. 
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: Glad to be here 20 Aug 2019 04:01 #342949

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serenity wrote on 23 Jul 2017 03:53:
If you know anything about cats, you may appreciate this comparison to addiction. Cats are very instinctual (as I'm sure other animals are as well) and when their instincts take over they can be hard if not impossible to redirect. 

A friend of mine was saying how his cat would go out at night in the snow and come back all beat up. It had an injured leg and was not in the best of shape. And yet still the next night there was some other cat out there that he was pursuing and he would charge out into the cold and snow in pursuit. Are we much different when our desires take over and we are recklessly driven after something to fulfill them.

Bump
BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)

613stillgoing@gmail.com

Re: Glad to be here 28 Jan 2020 04:11 #346993

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Some untruths that I used to believe or tell myself
  • I have to act out
  • I can just watch a little and I won't act out
  • My world will end if anyone finds out
  • Acting out starts when I touch myself or go to a porn site and that's when I lose power

What I have learned
  • II don't have to act out
  • I just watch a little I will act out 
  • I need to trusted people to share with who share my experiences and can provide peer support
  • The loss of power starts way earlier. I have to know for myself what actions, feelings and other things lead me to acting out.
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: Glad to be here 28 Jan 2020 14:52 #347002

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serenity wrote on 28 Jan 2020 04:11:
Some untruths that I used to believe or tell myself
  • I have to act out
  • I can just watch a little and I won't act out
  • My world will end if anyone finds out
  • Acting out starts when I touch myself or go to a porn site and that's when I lose power

What I have learned
  • II don't have to act out
  • I just watch a little I will act out
  • I need to trusted people to share with who share my experiences and can provide peer support
  • The loss of power starts way earlier. I have to know for myself what actions, feelings and other things lead me to acting out.


Good to hear from you old buddy, how goes it?
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Glad to be here 24 Feb 2020 00:31 #347512

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Reb Cordnoy. Good to hear from you as well! B"h doing well. Trying to do the best I can one day at a time. 
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: Glad to be here 15 Feb 2021 06:32 #363405

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How u been buddy?

Re: Glad to be here 04 Mar 2021 04:07 #364681

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Hello all, I'm going to try and check in here for the next 90 days and click that 90 day chart. My SA sobriety date is March 18, 2015 but can I really say I meet the GYE standards. I don't know but I didn't want to click I had a fall. What a terrible word "fall" is in my opinion. So negative and shameful, but who am I to question the 90 day chart. (It helped me) Anyways in the past Cordnoy (is he still an admin here?) gave me dispensation to say I'm clean on the chart. What another ugly word, "clean". So if I'm not clean, I'm dirty? They got rid of those words in the counseling profession. Time to update the lingo here? Look at me, here 5 minutes and already complaining. Such an addict. 

Listen I'm going to be a bit rude and egotistical. Here is my rule. If you have not masturbated in more than three years you can argue with anything I say and I'll will probably listen to you and you will probably be right.  If you're a chronic slipper then you should probably just keep quiet. Anything in between maybe you have something to teach me. If you have a decent amount of time of no masturbation with no image searches (def no porn)  then let me know how you do it.

Please don't take me too seriously. I just want to go 90 days without an illicit image (or any image search - except for cars) or video search. 

Thanks, 

Wow my Karma is going to go way down. They still have Karma here? 
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: Glad to be here 04 Mar 2021 04:27 #364685

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serenity wrote on 04 Mar 2021 04:07:
Hello all, I'm going to try and check in here for the next 90 days and click that 90 day chart. My SA sobriety date is March 18, 2015 but can I really say I meet the GYE standards. I don't know but I didn't want to click I had a fall. What a terrible word "fall" is in my opinion. So negative and shameful, but who am I to question the 90 day chart. (It helped me) Anyways in the past Cordnoy (is he still an admin here?) gave me dispensation to say I'm clean on the chart. What another ugly word, "clean". So if I'm not clean, I'm dirty? They got rid of those words in the counseling profession. Time to update the lingo here? Look at me, here 5 minutes and already complaining. Such an addict. 

Listen I'm going to be a bit rude and egotistical. Here is my rule. If you have not masturbated in more than three years you can argue with anything I say and I'll will probably listen to you and you will probably be right.  If you're a chronic slipper then you should probably just keep quiet. Anything in between maybe you have something to teach me. If you have a decent amount of time of no masturbation with no image searches (def no porn)  then let me know how you do it.

Please don't take me too seriously. I just want to go 90 days without an illicit image (or any image search - except for cars) or video search. 

Thanks

Nice to see you back!!!!!

Not sure if the world has changed since they dropped mr from potato head (sic), but from my last check, searching for cars is not the most advisable idea if you’re trying to keep safe from illicit images...

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Re: Glad to be here 04 Mar 2021 05:00 #364688

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serenity wrote on 04 Mar 2021 04:07:

Wow my Karma is going to go way down. They still have Karma here? 

Yes, and it appears they fixed the bug that used to allow me to give people more than one point at a time.
Welcome back, buddy.
Handbook | Skep's Tips
My threads:
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/236327-Bigmoish-tries-to-be-good
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/236329-Bigmoishs-path-to-tahara

"Expectation is the mother of frustration" - gibbor120
"Today, damn it! Today!" - cordnoy
"Desiring is not a sin at all, but just a sign that you are not dead yet" - Dov
"We are our own worst observer" - eslaasos's therapist
WDHW!!!

Re: Glad to be here 04 Mar 2021 14:05 #364704

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Bigmoish wrote on 04 Mar 2021 05:00:

serenity wrote on 04 Mar 2021 04:07:

Wow my Karma is going to go way down. They still have Karma here? 

Yes, and it appears they fixed the bug that used to allow me to give people more than one point at a time.


So that's how you old-timers all have a zillion karma!
In the place where ba’alei teshuva stand, even pure tzaddikim who never sinned cannot stand. (Rabbi Avohu, Brachos 34b)

Great free resources:
My favorite book for breaking free: The Battle of the Generation 
https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation. Change your attitude and change your life!

Rabbi Shafier's incredible lectures on breaking free: The Fight. Download here: 
https://theshmuz.com/series/the-fight/

If you're only ready to try something small, check out an easier way to do self-talk here:
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/378128-Captain—Shtarkemotionals-Secret90Day-Challenge

Re: Glad to be here 05 Mar 2021 05:12 #364772

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Day 2. I was about to search an image last night and then I remembered my 90 day thing. I didn't fell at all like I was holding myself back. It felt like a surrender. You can only hold breath for so long. You have to grow gills. I guess it's really the opposite.   We end up living in this unnatural state of fantasy etc and our bodies adapt. Time to stop breathing under water and learn to breath fresh air again. 
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: Glad to be here 05 Mar 2021 10:59 #364785

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serenity wrote on 05 Mar 2021 05:12:

Did we even grow gills? Was it even considered breathing? I don't think it was for me. It was suffocating my life as a person, Jew, husband, father, chavrusah, student, talmid, friend, brother, son. I was definitely not breathing and had to come back to reality for air. It may have seemed like breathing, but for me I now experience that it hardly was.

Re: Glad to be here 08 Mar 2021 00:24 #364932

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Day 4. Been using short prayers to surrender second looks at people. Thanks for your help.  
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.
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