markz wrote on 08 Apr 2016 13:08:

Don't reveal my secrets! Shhhh!

First off, I raised your karma. Just because. Secondly, I chap the lomdus of karma, I just don't feel it's shayich to my matziv. L'moshol, I chap why people "work out", (and it's not just for the nashim), but I don't do such things because it is bad for me.

(I have no idea why I wrote like that).

AND I JUST SAW THAT MY KARMA WAS RAISED BY 2!!!!!  ARGHHHHHHH!!!!

Shlomo24 wrote on 08 Apr 2016 15:01:

After I resolve my issue with nashim, I'll work on my issue with nashin'. Luckily, working out helps with both.

I just wanna put out there that I went to a seudas preidah and I feel really sad. I feel like a part of my heart is missing, especially in regards to one friend of mine, ironically I used to lust after him but we became really close. It's just so sad that I'm not gonna see certain friends for a while. What is also sad is that I'm not going with them, I'm in college and they're in BM. I feel less than. But I know I'm in a good place and that I can't have everything in life. I always tell my sponsor that not having the cake and eating it too is the hardest thing for me. I want it all, and when I don't get it I feel like I'm settling, even though it's just reality and that is how life goes. L'maysah I didn't have so much shaychus with them so recently, and this drives that point home to me, it's a severance. And I feel sad about that and down about that.

I want to check in with some lustful feelings and desires that I have had, including desire to watch porn and act out with men. I also am thinking that I should have "chapped arein" more when I was in active addiction. I also need to realize that only God keeps me sober, by me "doing more stuff" I won't get myself sober if it's excluding god. Also, I need to realize that sobriety has its ups and downs and I need to love myself more.

Ok, so I have been feeling really down this whole week. Been waking up late, not eating much, not (gulp) showering as often as I usually do, spending a lot of time on my computer and on YouTube, going to sleep really late, and the list goes on. I was feeling the lust really hard today, ayin shom l'eil, and I decided to take the day off kinda. I think that I needed it. So I skipped two classes and wasted time, but I felt bad still. Eventually I went home and in the car I started tearing up. I just felt so depressed and I had no idea why. It felt like someone just turned on a switch and I was suddenly just really sad. I made a concrete decision that I wasn't going to do anything for the rest of the night, and I wasn't going to feel guilty about it. B"h I think that is what I needed, because I feel so much better now. I watched a helluva lot of "Got Talent" videos and just zoned out. But I think it was what I needed to do.

Peace Out.

Do you appreciate I included you on my exclusive msg?
Dont start being lomdish about the topic that wasn't lomdish

i truly wanted to share something lighthearted with you, as you're one of my buddies

Hey there's lots of guys here thinking 'bout you, even deranged despots (that's not me of course)

markz wrote on 15 Apr 2016 04:22:

I say this out of love mark, but you're a total quack.

Peace out Shlo bro. Youve got a lot of talent yourself. I like that firm decision about the rest of the night. You da man!! But, um, ... maybe... we can try to work on those showers.., you know, like maybe every rosh chodesh weather you need it or not.
Sg

Us quacks are getting voted in

Shlomo24 wrote:

Thanks for sharing. 
I had to pipe in and say I also know you!

Shlomo24 wrote on 15 Apr 2016 04:24:


But the best quack that a person can ask for.......no one like him!

Well, there's definitely no one like him... Gonna leave it at that

markz wrote on 15 Apr 2016 04:30:

They're not gonna pay for the wall, ok!?

Hey Shlomo, forget the shower,  that is why deodorant was created.  

I know the feeling of sudden sadness attacks,  i get about one a day when i think about certain things in my life. It dont feel good,  especially when it seems like it's the truth. 

I just want to commend you on being self aware,  of which you seem to do very well,  and trying to address your mood and mode. You seem to express that you are aware that it is not your essence but just something to deal with. 

Gd bless, and have a good one
 

I would like to make some public disclaimers about myself:

1) If I don't respond to your chat, it's because I don't like you. Oh dang, sorry, Freudian slip. It's because I'm probably on my phone and I don't see the chat messages.

2) If we are on hangouts or have each other's number, please use one of those mediums instead of GYE chat. I personally find the chat annoying to use. If you chat me I will probably respond by one of those.

3) Al kol panim, if you don't have hangouts with me or my number, then feel free to chat me, but I may not answer, (see announcement #1).

4) I showered.

Good Shabbos.