Read once, then minimize to save screen space.

Forum Overview

Post on the forum to get support, tell your story and reach out for help when feeling weak!

You will never be alone in this struggle again.

The GYE forum is anonymous platform of group support, and a life-line of chizuk for hundreds of people in exactly your situation. 

To use the forum you need to first become a member of the site, sign up here.

After signing up to the site, go to the forum, enter one of our boards and press "New Topic" to begin posting! 

Welcome, Guest
Welcome to our forum! Introduce yourself here (anonymously, of course) and get a warm welcome from the rest of the community!

TOPIC: Big Steps 130522 Views

Re: Big Steps 02 Jan 2016 23:19 #273133

  • Markz
  • Current streak: 197 days
  • NOW ONLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 7434
  • Karma: 376
In my experience, a good therapists opinion is gold.

Are you planning to tell your father all the work you've done toward your great recovery. Honestly is something we must have but in the right places

All the best, and let us know when you're engaged ;-)
My Story---------Dov Quotes




FREE LUST TRUCK TOWING
Click HERE to checkout;
100 Day Success Stories: cordnoy, Dov, Gevura and more...
• Awesome Threads Saved for You
• Cast Your Vote

GYE Plenty Solutions
➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk

➣ Nice Trucking Story
Last Edit: 02 Jan 2016 23:19 by Markz.

Re: Big Steps 03 Jan 2016 01:37 #273146

  • Shlomo24
  • Current streak: 1 day
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 2213
  • Karma: 135
markz wrote:
In my experience, a good therapists opinion is gold.

Are you planning to tell your father all the work you've done toward your great recovery. Honestly is something we must have but in the right places

All the best, and let us know when you're engaged ;-)

That's a good point, I will discuss this with my therapist. Also my father knows about my recovery but I am purposely not telling him my sobriety date or my recovery. It's not supposed to be about him. I would feel very uncomfortable if I told him my sobriety date. They will have to find out how well I'm doing indirectly. Also, it doesn't change him at all if I change so there's no tachlis of telling him. Lastly, I have been advised to have as little contact with him as possible and this will just reign in things more.

In terms of your last (re)mark: I will definitely tell everyone when I get engaged iy"h.
If you're an LGBTQ or LGBTQ-questioning person and looking for someone who can understand you, feel free to reach out. I promise no judgement and to try and listen the best I can. 

Email: iam24zman@gmail.com

Re: Big Steps 07 Jan 2016 20:41 #273643

  • Shlomo24
  • Current streak: 1 day
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 2213
  • Karma: 135
cordnoy wrote:
While it's true that there is more feedback there, not everyone understands this type of addiction, so there might be certain things you should save for here.

Ultimately, the way I see it as a general rule (and I'm no expert) is that this type of addiction or lust desire is the same as others. There was somethin' that triggered our brains and rest of our body at some point in time, and many of us get stuch with that for the duration of our life. It is not the object or person of our desire that makes the difference; it is not the particular fetish that we may have. The common denominator is that it is defined as lust, and we need to learn how to live with it in a healthy fashion.

your road to recovery should be blessed with hatzlachah

Shlomo24 wrote:
i have 2 therapists and one partner to get down 2 the "kishkes" of my ssa. im here mainly for chizuk and support. i have found that there are a lot of warm, caring ppl on the main thread. prob gonna stick with that. thnx though.

I just saw this and I realized how what cordy said was gold and spot on but I wasn't ready for it. I was to much into, "I'm different because I have SSA, so it's harder for me to get sober." Well I have CLEARLY changed since then. My struggle isn't ssa, it's sex addiction. I have to accept my past self.

#2020hindsight
If you're an LGBTQ or LGBTQ-questioning person and looking for someone who can understand you, feel free to reach out. I promise no judgement and to try and listen the best I can. 

Email: iam24zman@gmail.com
Last Edit: 07 Jan 2016 20:41 by Shlomo24.

Re: Big Steps 07 Jan 2016 22:19 #273646

  • cordnoy
  • NOW ONLINE
  • Moderator
  • I'm sailin', for I've got to be free
  • Posts: 11387
  • Karma: 552
We call it #lust.

When did I write that? 2020?
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Big Steps 08 Jan 2016 03:53 #273663

  • Shlomo24
  • Current streak: 1 day
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 2213
  • Karma: 135
lol
If you're an LGBTQ or LGBTQ-questioning person and looking for someone who can understand you, feel free to reach out. I promise no judgement and to try and listen the best I can. 

Email: iam24zman@gmail.com

Re: Big Steps 08 Jan 2016 15:53 #273697

  • Shlomo24
  • Current streak: 1 day
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 2213
  • Karma: 135
I joined the 90 day chart so I can have a 1 sober day by my profile. I want to remind myself that I can never be sober for more then one day and that it's an ODAAT program. How do I get the number below my username?
If you're an LGBTQ or LGBTQ-questioning person and looking for someone who can understand you, feel free to reach out. I promise no judgement and to try and listen the best I can. 

Email: iam24zman@gmail.com

Re: Big Steps 08 Jan 2016 16:03 #273699

  • Gevura Shebyesod
  • Current streak: 2770 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 3949
  • Karma: 448
On the chart by your name there's a link that says "Display streak on forum". But how are you going to get it to keep saying one day if you don't keep telling it that you fell? If you just ignore it you drop off the chart after 2 weeks.
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל

And every day that you want to waste, that you want to waste, you can
And every day that you want to wake up, that you want to wake, you can
And every day that you want to change, that you want to change, yeah
I'll help you see it through...


"If it would be so easy there wouldn't be a GYE, but if it would be impossible there also wouldn't be a GYE."

"Sometimes a hard decision leads to an easier outcome."

- General Grant



My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends

Re: Big Steps 08 Jan 2016 16:19 #273700

  • cordnoy
  • NOW ONLINE
  • Moderator
  • I'm sailin', for I've got to be free
  • Posts: 11387
  • Karma: 552
Gevura Shebyesod wrote:
On the chart by your name there's a link that says "Display streak on forum". But how are you going to get it to keep saying one day if you don't keep telling it that you fell? If you just ignore it you drop off the chart after 2 weeks.


Doesn't yours stay the same for longer than that?
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Big Steps 08 Jan 2016 17:01 #273706

  • Gevura Shebyesod
  • Current streak: 2770 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 3949
  • Karma: 448
The WOH section works differently
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל

And every day that you want to waste, that you want to waste, you can
And every day that you want to wake up, that you want to wake, you can
And every day that you want to change, that you want to change, yeah
I'll help you see it through...


"If it would be so easy there wouldn't be a GYE, but if it would be impossible there also wouldn't be a GYE."

"Sometimes a hard decision leads to an easier outcome."

- General Grant



My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends

Re: Big Steps 08 Jan 2016 18:04 #273710

  • Markz
  • Current streak: 197 days
  • NOW ONLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 7434
  • Karma: 376
Gevura Shebyesod wrote:
The WOH section works differently
I don't update so every day for me is day 90, and the WOH? idk
My Story---------Dov Quotes




FREE LUST TRUCK TOWING
Click HERE to checkout;
100 Day Success Stories: cordnoy, Dov, Gevura and more...
• Awesome Threads Saved for You
• Cast Your Vote

GYE Plenty Solutions
➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk

➣ Nice Trucking Story

Re: Big Steps 08 Jan 2016 18:27 #273712

  • Shlomo24
  • Current streak: 1 day
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 2213
  • Karma: 135
ok i still have no idea how it works, woh equals wall of honor. mark has his number set at 90 for a while and i would like mine to stay at one
If you're an LGBTQ or LGBTQ-questioning person and looking for someone who can understand you, feel free to reach out. I promise no judgement and to try and listen the best I can. 

Email: iam24zman@gmail.com

Re: Big Steps 08 Jan 2016 18:57 #273716

  • Markz
  • Current streak: 197 days
  • NOW ONLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 7434
  • Karma: 376
So jump on the 90 day chart for one day only, and don't update after that
It's fine - we know what day you're really upto...
day one for the 200th time or whatever
KOT 1DaaT
My Story---------Dov Quotes




FREE LUST TRUCK TOWING
Click HERE to checkout;
100 Day Success Stories: cordnoy, Dov, Gevura and more...
• Awesome Threads Saved for You
• Cast Your Vote

GYE Plenty Solutions
➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk

➣ Nice Trucking Story

Re: Big Steps 14 Jan 2016 18:17 #274309

  • Shlomo24
  • Current streak: 1 day
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 2213
  • Karma: 135
I missed a family simcha this morning and I want to share about it. I completely forgot about it, I was only reminded about it by others later on. I am ok with realizing a mistake and I took positive action to try to make amends. What is bothering me is the reaction I got from others. They all implied that I had just plain overslept and not made an innocent mistake at the wrong time. Had I remembered I would've showed up god willing. I am not the person who sleeps through important stuff anymore. But apparently they haven't realized that yet. That is what frustrates me. My sponsor said, "Yeah, sometimes it's a piss off when we get a glimpse of our former past." Al kol panim I am really po'd right now, something else came up also. I ask god to grant me serenity over my character defects and help me do the next right thing, to imbue spirituality within me so I don't have to seek out lust.
If you're an LGBTQ or LGBTQ-questioning person and looking for someone who can understand you, feel free to reach out. I promise no judgement and to try and listen the best I can. 

Email: iam24zman@gmail.com
Last Edit: 14 Jan 2016 18:18 by Shlomo24.

Re: Big Steps 14 Jan 2016 18:23 #274311

  • Workingguy
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 1150
  • Karma: 139
We're with you totally. And don't seek out lust; you don't need it. You have plenty of people who care about you on the site, and who want you to continue to be successful.

And obviously the lust won't solve anything. It'll only make things worse.

Re: Big Steps 17 Jan 2016 22:56 #274642

  • Shlomo24
  • Current streak: 1 day
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 2213
  • Karma: 135
Someone from GYE told me he has SSA and wants to talk about it. We chatted on Gmail and everything seemed to be going fine. He said he was struggling with porn and masturbation, and we began exchanging a bit of info about ourselves. Things were going very normal then and he said he was from NY, I replied that I am also from NY. Then things went south. He deliberately asked to hook up with me. I first thought he was joking but he wasn't. I shut him down very strongly but he was not letting up, he got more explicit. The insanity was that I kept on chatting him. I am a sexaholic and I'm powerless over lust, there's no other reason that I would have kept going. It really took me out of my place and the lust shocked me. It's crazy how I can go from a sober mindset to back to lust in one moment. This program is truly one day at a time. I am and always will be an addict. I physically felt nauseous after chatting with him. I wanted to throw up. I didn't make any sexual advances but the whole conversation was all about lust for me. I shared it and I called my sponsor. I got on my knees and prayed because I knew that without god there was no way I was going to stay sober. I am still shaken up and I am trying to take it one moment at a time.
If you're an LGBTQ or LGBTQ-questioning person and looking for someone who can understand you, feel free to reach out. I promise no judgement and to try and listen the best I can. 

Email: iam24zman@gmail.com
Time to create page: 0.73 seconds

Are you sure?

Yes