I'm getting the feeling it's impossible again.

Hey
Mazal Tov! I made it to 90 days clean with Hashems help and the support of GYE!
I thought I'd try and list what's worked for me so far, if it will help anyone out there.

#1 Having a filter.
This is plastered all over GYE, but I gotta reiterate it. However motivated you are and however strong you think you can be, having a filter is imperative to staying clean and guarding your eyes. I use Covenant Eyes for my laptop, and Net Nanny for my android phone. Both of these filter the sites on your device, but also give your accountability partner access to view reports on everything you visit.

#2 No filter is complete without you.
That being said, every filter has its holes in the system. I don't want to bring attention to them and cause temptation for anyone unaware of them, but I personally know where the yetzer hora takes me to that isn't blocked. So you need to stay far away from them - be it having a phone curfew, restricting your use of devices when alone or in the bathroom - whatever works for you. This is still a battle for me, so bring on #3.

#3 Hashem is in control.
Talk to G-d. We can't do this alone. Ask Him to take away temptation and help us through this... It helps.

#4 90 days chart.
This isn't the ultimate goal, nor am I immune now, but having a goal in sight is infinitely helpful in overcoming the temptation rush. Join the climb, update regularly and appreciate how well you are doing! It definitely helped me.

#5 Music
As I type, I'm listening to some awesome Jewish music. While I do listen to non-jewish music, I have seen the difference in staying clean when tempted while listening to 'kosher' music. Try it - there's something that just calms you and really helps there. Combine this with #6 for the ultimate recipe .

#6 Distraction
Sitting in your room and white-knuckling doesn't work. Guaranteed that long term it's easier if you train yourself to never open the door to the temptation. Find a hobby, exercise, phone your parents or treat yourself to an ice cream. Whatever distracts you - it's not cheating, it helps. For me this was one of the most important, and now the temptation doesn't find its way in from boredom .

#7 Guard your eyes (and hands) - from yourself.
Maybe this should have been #1, because for me this is literally the game changer. When I turned around and decided to stop on Tisha Bav, I also made this commitment. Basically I thought about it logically and realised that dieting is impossible if there's cake on the table always. SO - DON'T LOOK AND DONT TOUCH. Never look at or touch your Makom Habris. It's that simple. You lie to yourself and say you need to when you go to the bathroom etc, but your brain isn't that stupid... You learn to be excused while not touching it. Looking is much harder, but don't look down. Showering is the hardest time but you can do it! For me this totally changes things - it made staying clean a thousand times easier.

#8 Talk to people.
Whether you're ready to tell a real person, or post on GYE, talking out what works and does't and how you're doing is a crucial part of recovery.

#9 Don't get down.
It's hard. Don't get depressed. Firstly, for me I know that falling is the worst thing and impossible to get back up. So I use the three second rule, if you see something think and then look away. Then congratulate yourself! Don't let the Yetzer Hora win. Same goes for nights... unintentional falls don't count. So don't be upset, Just KEEP ON TRUCKING.

I had lots to write but thats all I can think of now. Feel free to add chizuk and comments in reply, I can't wait to read them - I'm still on this journey too. If any of the moderators could pin this for a while I'd appreciate that because I really want those who can to benefit from this. KOT guys. Thank you all. Kol Tuv!

S

So I think this might be the first only good news post I've ever posted. I wrote a long helpful post when I crossed 90 days, describing what I think are the best tools etc. and I've kept off the GYE website since then as it can be a trigger for me - totally forgetting works better for me. Anyway, I think GYE and all its visitors deserve some happy stories for motivation, so I'll add my bit.

Nothing long or fancy. Just some facts...

- With the help of Hashem I'm 163 days clean.

- Acting out has literally become a non-option for me. I don't even think about it anymore.

- My Shmiras Einayim is on a whole new level than it ever was, with regards to controlling myself and looking away as soon as I see something.

- I'm SO FREAKIN HAPPY ABOUT THIS!

Lots more to write a different time. Just wanted to stick that up for now. Hatzlacha everyone and thank you all!! Peace out.

WOWOWOWOW.

Thank you @markz for bringing this thread to life. I'd totally neglected it but I'm really glad to have it back alive and updated thanks to your thoughtfulness. So firstly small correction... I'm 18 now, so just thought I'd keep you up to date on that .

Second, I've been on a break from routine, in a house with an unfiltered open internet top of the line computer. I would never suggest testing yourself like this but Bisyata Dishmaya somehow I'm still afloat - I've kept clean and stayed strong, and leaving here tomorrow. Thank you Hashem.

I guess thirdly is just a check in. BH I'm doing well - though maybe not well enough, being a little over confident - that's when the YH usually steps in. So here's my written resolve to restrengthen and be more protective over my eyes, and IYH to KOT. Thank you Hashem for all You do, for all Your help, for giving me challenges and helping me overcome them.

WOW! Holy cow this is cool that a thread got revived like this. I think that it's also cool that you're 18 because that was when I joined GYE. But you apparently joined at 16, which is super cool. How have things been going? Is it still a struggle? Also how do you feel when you look back? I just read ur thread and it seemed very roller-coastery, I totally relate. I think that as a teenager it's common for those things to happen, our hormones were totally out of whack.

On a side note:
I read cordy's posts also and I really relate to them. It sounded like I was writing them... Maybe there's hope for me Shoot! Did I just say that out loud!

That there's hope. That took a very long time before it was noticed.

Not all of us hear that well anymore[/size]