WELCOME Fightingaddictionnow! You are in the right place. You are young, so now is time to take care of it (before you are 40 something and still posting here). There are tools here. Keep reading and posting.

Ok so dunno if anyone reads this but it's more for myself so I'm going to post anyway.

First things first: With the help of Hashem Yisborach, this is my 10th day clean. DON'T POUNCE with your ideas of 90 days vs. not counting please! I'm carefully balancing them in a way that is really helping me. On the one hand, I am taking this step by step, day by day, hour by hour. But on the other hand, ticking off my chart each day inspires me and motivates me to continue.

Second, the additional precautions I've added to my life have really helped. Since I've 'sealed' my filter I haven't looked at anything I shouldn't have. Also, I've used two cool programs (I love technology) to plaster "לֹא תָתוּרוּ אַחֲרֵי לְבַבְכֶם וְאַחֲרֵי עֵינֵיכֶם" on both my MacBook and Android wallpapers, as a constant reminder!

Third, though it may sound it - it has not been easy so far. I've had some moments when I was so close to falling, but thanks to GYE and some contacts I made on the forums, I've overcome my Yetzer Hora every time so far. I'm constantly gaining more inspiration, determination and knowledge. YET I'm still scared, so anyone with advice please do keep messaging me - it's what's keeping me alive. Seriously. Also please please help me with my other thread, I'm really struggling with this: Stress-Distractions-and-Boredom.

Nothing else I need to write now, but will hopefully (Cordnoy, don't attack - READ: with the help of Hashem, and providing I am not to busy studying, which I should be doing now ) post more later in the week.

Thank you all.

S.

(P.S: Random Questions...
1) What is WAW? Keep seeing on forum? (also tons of other abbreviations, maybe someone should make a key! It's really confusing!)
2) How do you add a signature? Is it only for the elite ? How do I qualify ?!

Also I wanted to add a really cool, inspiring idea I've thought of. Its a crossbreed of a Dvar Torah and Breaking Free advice. Couldn't figure out where to post it - so I'm just gonna keep it in my thread. Feel free to quote it somewhere else if you think it belongs there.

I heard an idea that explains why we count up to Shavuos. By that I mean: When someone is excited for something, they normally count down. "14 days 'till my birthday", "12 days 'till school ends" and so on. During the Sefirah, however, we count upwards! Why?
The reason I heard is that by receiving the Torah, one has to be active in order to appreciate it and thereby fully 'accept' it. If one counts down, then if you sleep through day 10, the goal is still that much closer. It is now only 9 days! But if you count upwards - you are not passive, you are actively counting. If you don't count it - the number remains the same, and you haven't gained. This is why we count upwards.

I would like to suggest the same for breaking free from addiction. While some disagree with it, I find the 90 day count helpful for this reason. (Not specifically 90. I am not aiming for a day, since I agree you will not magically be healed then! But the idea of counting the days.) If you just sleep, force yourself to stay sober - or, as it is known here, 'whiteknuckle' - you aren't gaining. When given the oppertunity, you are likely to slip and fall once again. But by counting upwards, you make an effort. Obviously not simply by counting, but if you understand that it symbolises the active role you must take, to work, to learn, to grow - then by counting the days you are saying just that. "I am taking my life back! I am regaining control!"

May all of us be Zoche to gain full control over our Yetzer Haros. And arrive at Shavuos ready, prepared, and inspired.



These are my thoughts. If it inspires you - I feel privileged to have helped. If you disagree... .

Fightingaddictionnow wrote:


The key (Kee? כִּי?) to all the abbreviations can be found here.

To add a signature click on your name to go to your profile page, then click edit in the upper right corner.

KOMT!!! Do you know what that means yet?

I know what KOT is! but whats the M??? Its not even on that forum u directed me to!!!

Monstuh

BTW nice car I crush those for fun

I read it.

Sorry if I appear as if I'm attackin'

There's gotta be da nice guy on da site, da mean guy, da attacker, and so on.

I was gonna be a real bitch on a different thread, but deleted it.......gotta work a step or two to get me outta this funky mood.

b'hatzlachah

Hello .

I feel the need to 'check in', even if no-one reads it except me! (and perhaps cordnoy to check up on my hopefulness )

So Boruch Hashem I am still clean. This is the longest I have ever gone, and it's been amazing yet impossible all at once.

I'm currently crazy stressed as this coming week are my high school exams. I'm going to study now, but I gotta write up first . I'm finding it easier generally to guard my eyes and not act out, but at times it is still a really hard struggle, and I wonder if I am still just 'whiteknuckling'. Any advice on that?
I did fight the urge to look at the Pritzus all around me on the way to school today, but there were no second looks, and I'm happy because of that.

I've also joined an accountability group, and spent lots of time on GYE. I'm even in the Shabbos Weekly this week!

So all in all the plane is on course but there is turbulence ahead. So anyone with some advice - feel free to post, I'm looking forward!

Good Shabbos my friends.

Cordnoy checks on all aspects.

You are doin' great.

Try to minimize your focus; don't take so much in.
Focus on the task ahead of you.

Don't be concerned with the hundreds of girls; focus on the decision before you.

b'hatzlachah

I just had a fall.

Need to post right away. Show myself I'm not giving up.

I'm getting back up. Taking each day at a time.
Each hour. Each minute. Each second.

The Yetzer Horo may have won this battle. I'm still going to win the war.
Or however the saying goes.

Today is... Today.

Fightingaddictionnow wrote:


No, the YH did not win this battle. You did. The YH's main goal was to get you down, but you bobbed right back up.

You're doin' great!

Hatzlacha,

MT

I don't know who the yetzer hara is and what his techniques are.

Perhaps his primary battle was to get someone feelin' down and s@#$ty, but his game plan is to help, facilitate, cause someone to fall.

I am not sure how denyin' that fact helps anyone.

Personally, I'd stay away from talkin' about the y"h period and focus on yourself.

I fell; I need to plan better; I need to improve; I am happy that I am not down and that makes it easier to bounce back, etc.

b'hatzlachah

Just fell again.
Harder to get back up.
Doing it anyway.

I haven't welcomed you yet, so

Welcome to GYE!!

Seems like you've found a place here, that's certainly a first step!!

What can you learn from the fall? What led to it? How can you prevent that from getting to you the next time?

KOT, KOMT!!!!

I let the Y'H do the old 'You've fallen once already, what's the difference?"

My lusting is B'H a lot better. This was simply desire for pleasure.
How do I curb that? Am I going to live with a desire this strong forever?