Hey holy brothers .

Ive been clean for 5 days and am really determined. I've been looking through lots of GYE forums and having PM's with other incredible people. While speaking to a guy in a similar situation, I realised some of the major issues, and I need some advice which I cannot find enough of...

These are (a few things but really all the same): ways to help DISTRACT oneself when TEMPTED, STAY BUSY when BORED, and RELEASE STRESS in a healthy way. I myself - and lots of others by the looks of it - find these problems to tempt one to act out - particularly when STRESSED or BORED.

Please can this forum be a compilation of any thoughts, ideas, or advice? Everyone! Please! What do YOU think?

S.

25 clapping push ups!

Something that I can do pls?! ;-) I can maybe do one push up! 25?!
Seriously though, exercise is commonly advised. I'm looking for any more solutions...

Define Stress: do you procrastinate?

If you do then going step by step helps me. One page at a time. And lower your expectations

i have a breathing exersize which realy works if ynu do it right. 1.go to a quiet place and lay or sit down in a comfterble position 2.start slowing down your breathing 3.think of a relaxing word i use calm and when any other thougts pop in jurt go back to ur word.do this for about 5 to 15 minutes .tell me if it work

By stress I just me that. When stressed with school, people etc, masturbation seems to be a tempting way to release stress. We are looking for alternatives!
Thanks

I also have come to the realization that temptations, boredom and stress (among other negative emotional situations) are major triggers that can lead to acting out. Through trial and error, I have implemented an approach that deals with all such triggers; but in an unconventional way.

The conventional way is to acknowledge that these situations tend to cause us to act out, and therefore we must work on ourselves to avoid such situations. The problem with this is two-fold. Firstly, until we reach that lofty level of avoiding such situations, we are in trouble. Secondly, if we keep telling ourselves that these situations lead us to act out, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, and whenever we are faced with such situations, there is a good chance we will do what we believe is inevitable, i.e. we will act out.

So therefore, we can try the unconventional approach: Reprogram your way of thinking. Tell yourself again and again that: Just because I am tempted, bored or stressed does not mean that I must act out. I can accept the situation as it is, and yet remain sober. If Pavlov's dog was able to change his conditioned reflexes, so can I (lehavdil).

Maybe this does not work for certain people, but I know from experience that it can work even for a person who has struggled with such issues for many many years (or decades). So maybe it's worth considering.

Hatzlacha

MT

I used to think about this a lot and still do every so often. I think that at some point in my marriage when my wife was too unavailable, I took on reading and smoking after she went to sleep until I was chilled out enough. (funny- she hates the fact that I smoke. Probably doesn't remember when I started, although I switched to e-ciggs and she is happy about that)
then I ended up with computer and an office and a lot more stress. I ended up spending a lot of time playing solitaire and smoking. then I got into the internet and spend time browsing- and guess what? smoking. all these were great ways to reduce stress. but then i got into P* and that was a great way. (of course with a good smoke after M*)and that's part of how I ended up here.
I pretty much gave up on a way to relieve stress. I just wait it out now or sleep it off. I can't think of anything that I could do that I would enjoy doing to relax with. I thought of going to play hockey once in a while bit it's too complicated right now for me. The truth is learning helps for me but when I am frustrated and stressed I can't really open a sefer.
I HAVE learnt to get my life under control. I got into time management and task management and that has helped me feel that things are under control. the more I feel in control of all the things that I have to get done, the less I am stressed. Don't know if anything that I said has a toeles but it's good to get things off my chest once in a while.

Umanuman - For sure you can get whatever you want off your chest - thats what the forums are for!
MT - i hear where you come from. But I think for me, I might need to balance this carefully. While your solution may be the ideal, currently that IS what will happen. So while we can work on your ideas, I would like to continue finding other solutions.

SO PLEASE KEEP POSTING! PEOPLE - WHAT DO YOU THINK?

AS per your request in the PM, I am posting here what I wrote,
I don't really have advice for this. But you have been making me think about it. I think that it is important to find some kind of hobby that you enjoy. I haven't managed to find one for myself though.
I thing that if you can find anything, just anything that you can enjoy doing it can also work as an escape. the the way the Non-Jewish neighbors were always cleaning their cars on Shabbos morning. Or like my neighbor that would spend hours working in his garden.

Another thing that I guess HAS helped me a little was creating more structure in my day. I feel that often I don't know what to do with myself so I just end up browsing away to find something to catch my mind.
The more structure I have through my day, the more I don't have those times to just look for things to do.
Hope that helps. Thanks for giving me the incentive to think through that point.