I appreciate your posts to RS, yes we are building something. I posted on my thread a long thought on this exact topic. That the posts on the forum are accomplishing a lot whether we realize it or not. 

Workingguy wrote on 23 Feb 2016 02:19:

Why do you say it's irrelevant.  GYE tends to be very 12 step heavy.  If other methods work better, why not share them?

well said.. I have B'H been posting on the forum everyday since the begging of my 90 day journey even though they all haven't been on my forum. I feel just saying something to someone everyday helps and makes me part of this amazing community of growth and unity. and yes.. even though its hard to do so I feel i should- as you said RS continue to make this nightmare into something beautiful by joining such a beautiful community. Keep inspiring us RS!!!!!!!

gibbor120 wrote on 25 Feb 2016 17:45:


It's a good question, but I think the reason it's irrelevant is bc it doesn't really make so much sense to share what studies show works better if I don't have the personal experience of using those methods. So I can tell you that motivational interviewing is one of the top five most effective ways to deal with addiction, that CBT seems to have better stats than twelve steps with addiction, of that a ridiculously large percentage of addicts actually recover on their own- I believe they call it spontaneous recovery.

But I just don't see the benefit of sharing publicly my doubts about a method and the benefits of other methods of I haven't personally experienced it.

So I took issue with him saying that twelve steps is the only way bc 1) it's not true and how can he even claim to know that unless he's tried everything, 2) as you pointed out, GYE is pretty 12 steps heavy so I wanted to mitigate that bias, and 3) even if it was too true it's too pushy bc the idea, as Cordnoy says many times, is to share your experience.

So I definitely don't want to be pointing out the flaws in anyone else's recovery system.

If you're saying I should suggest these other ways without knowing them personally just from the stats, I don't know if that's helpful.

But I do think it's too 12 step heavy here, which is why I tried it here a while ago and left.

What I would say to anyone uncomfortable with the twelve steps is read the links to success stories in Markz's signature, and you'll see that probably half of them had nothing to do with the twelve steps- Markz included.

Regardless of if the 12-steps are the only or the most effective method, the fact is that the 12-steps are healthy steps for a person to take. Some say that even non-addicts would benefit from such an approach. So it doesnt really bother me if GYE is 12-steps heavy. Bottom line: the 12-steps are representative of significant spiritual growth in a healthy way. They are incredibly powerful in breaking through the mountains of rationalizations and dishonesty that drives so much of our unhealthy actions. In terms of treatment? Thats for each individual to discover for themselves. There are probably as many approaches as there are addicts. And the addict who is prepared to look himself in the mirror and be brutally honest with himself, can undertake the journey to find what works for him.

That being said... one of the thing s working for me is posting every day...

Day 17: I had a sobering thought today. When i am in the middle of a bad week or month, and my life feels like its falling apart around me, I tell myself that if only I was clean I would be functioning better and I would be accomplishing more and my life would have some semblance of normal. Now, 17 days later, I am forced to admit that while acting out guarantees that my life will be insane, that doesnt mean that not acting out will make my life normal. All the garbage that comes up, all the frustrations, all the limitations will be there and i may feel like my life hasnt transformed into a super success. And what i need to realize is that thats too bad. We need to be clean because not being clean is selfish, painful, dishonest to our loved ones and just plain wrong. I cant pin my health on the guarantee that my life will be awesome now. Just that my life will be genuine and i am grateful for being able to look in the mirror and not afraid of what is staring back at me...

Here are some of my unicorns and candy canes. This is what we all got when we decided to go sober.. Your package was probably delayed.

Day 18: Its getting late and things are so busy but I need to be stubborn about this, because now this is whats working. Its a good feeling to log on a day later and to see that people looked at my post and it makes me feel supported in this struggle. Thanks.

I am relieved that Shabbos is  coming . I havent had issues on Shabbos [although i just speak for myself I know that there are those whose struggles haunt them on Shabbos as well and I feel their pain of never having a day that they can feel is a freebie]. But after shabbos ... that's another thing. Sometimes already on Shabbos by Mincha that tension grips my heart as i worry about what will be after Shabbos. 

Last two motzei shabbosim I knew what to do. I got onto GYE and clicked "I'm still clean" and posted. So thats what I will do. and hopefully that will be the beginning of a good evening. Wishing you all a truly restful shabbos of מנוחה וקדושה

OTR wrote:



You gotta put them in "attachment" brackets before shipping the package
Actually it becomes an image, so can be loaded and fired from the image input box, right here right now

Yes! Don't give up, try to minimize computer use or only use it in the company of others or even get someone to put passwords on site without them knowing what they are doing.

Hey RS 
 
Totally feeling what you're saying. 
Same boat. 

We'll be in the trenches with you if you end up there. Remember to bring a bottle. 

Good Shabbos 

Yesod wrote on 26 Feb 2016 22:28:

Means alot. Thanks. 

Day 19: Shabbos was a break, and once again it was especially geshmack to have been clean all week. I thought of it when I was singing עורה כבודי עורה, that my kavod is finally able to wake up a little ... for today ... its so humiliating to be trapped in the stinkin' garbage, and I am hoping, little by little that the stink is wearing off. I know, though, that it can be back with the click of my mouse. So here's a little prayer for us all that Hashem should give us the strength and clarity to stay sane. especially for this Motzei Shabbos.

Yesod, I've been worried about you. I can tell from your posts that you are a feeling intelligent person and I know all too well how painful it is to be tottering on the edge of a fall. But we are holding on to you... and we are here for you. you are not alone. Gut voch to all.

Day 20: Sundays are not the easiest days and I feel the glow starting to wear off. But I am determined to continue to post to be mechazek myself to keep at it. 

In my experience once the "pink cloud" of sobriety dissipated I went through a little rough patch, but then I found true serenity.

Shlomo24 wrote on 28 Feb 2016 23:02:

Word.

Stock up while the enemy is sleeping. 
Get phone buddies, read,  listen,  daven.

Cuz you never know when the storm'll hit

 

Day 21: Its the end of a long long day. I usually post early in the day but I was not in front of a computer today. (Don't have smartphone). I was out taking care of various responsibilities and I suddenly remembered a part of my story that I had stuffed into the recesses of my mind for a ling time. When I was younger - in my early twenties and already married, and this compulsion to see inappropriate pictured hit me hard, I used to have this compulsion to check garbage bins etc looking for "stuff". It got really bad to the point that I couldnt look at a pile of garbage without my heart racing. Disgusting. I cant even believe now how low and degrading it was. I was little dumpster diving for shmutz. I have come a long way since then. But the memory was sobering. Thanks for listening