Markz wrote on 11 Oct 2021 02:42:

Some people ask "Does it work, though?" without bothering to check it out themselves. They're either skeptical that it will really work, or they're scared that they'll miss their friend: porn.

Don't know what a header is.

If I was misleading, I would lie and say I haven't had any lapses since I read the book first. The book is based on Allen Carr's Easyway, which I've used to "successfully" quit 2 other addictions; successfully being a term used to refer to long term non-use.

"Fully clean" is another one of those terms. What does that even mean? An arbitrary length of time after which others accept that you're never going to use again? Are you there to see the physical and mental signs of recovery that I go through in the first couple of days and weeks of abstinence? Are you there when I have a lapse and can see that my tolerance and de-sensitization have dropped considerably? Respectfully: I'm fully clean when I say so, just as I'm only addicted when I say so. If someone else thinks differently, they're entitled to their opinion; I've got opinions, too. It's the Internet, we've all got opinions here.

Every lapse of mine has lead to greater understanding of what I had previously not understood. There's no shame in a lapse of non-use. It's an opportunity to find out where you went wrong, and allows you to fix it. It's not a desirable outcome, certainly, but it doesn't mean you throw the baby out with the bath water and join a religious cult.

wilnevergiveup wrote on 11 Oct 2021 05:16:

Good question. I'm happy that I'm not using porn. I'm happy to be a non-user now and forever. I used to quit and think about how long I could keep it up, counting days and getting more fearful as the day count got higher. The higher the climb, the higher the fall.

Now when I get a thought of using porn, which still happens occasionally, I just think (it's all in the book, folks) "Great, I'm no longer a user" or "that's something that users have to deal with all the time, good thing I'm not a user", and the feeling quickly passes. I've divorced the craving from needing to use porn, and now just recognize it as an echo of what my brain and body used to think I needed to do.

My lapses have come in a pattern of (when they have happened) just making bad decisions. Fixable behavior patterns that I've since fixed. It wasn't the traditional relapse cycle of 1)emotional relapse 2)mental relapse 3)physical relapse. That doesn't happen; I don't have emotional relapses anymore. I don't have triggers anymore. I don't see porn as a stress-reliever, for instance.

Trouble wrote on 11 Oct 2021 13:27:

Thank you for this, I am genuinely curious:

If you enjoy porn and find it enjoyable, what led you to seek out GYE? I'm not being facetious, I just don't understand why anyone would want to stop something if they enjoy it.

Also, if you really enjoy porn, especially the kind you like, then why don't you enjoy the kind of porn that you don't like? Every user has their "red line" of what they consider to be enjoyable and acceptable, and what they consider to be shocking, disgusting and distasteful. Is that what you were referring to?

It's healthy and normal to be skeptical about stuff like dopamine before doing your own research, and not just believing some rando like me. I recommend reading these brief overviews into how porn affects your brain's reward system (you can replace the word 'evolution' with 'Hashem's design' if that is going to stop you from reading. That's what they've done in reverse lol):

www.yourbrainonporn.com/miscellaneous-resources/start-here-evolution-has-not-prepared-your-brain-for-todays-porn/

chancy wrote on 11 Oct 2021 20:11:

Do you get pleasure out of sticking a needle in your arm and injecting heroine into your vein? If you're not a heroine user (I assume) then you don't. Because obviously, sticking a needle in your arm isn't a pleasurable activity.
But a heroine user will get pleasure from doing so, even before the dope gets into their bloodstream! 

They're not getting actual pleasure, they're getting the idea of pleasure, namely they feel bad due to withdrawal, and when they relieve their withdrawal by taking the drug that caused it in the first place they feel a little better, and that convinces them that they're getting actual pleasure. Where's the pleasure?

Your pulse surges. I know that feeling, your breath quickens, right? That's not pleasure, that's not how I feel when I enjoy a genuine pleasure. If you're interested in learning more, check out the book.

anonymous.lost.everything wrote on 11 Oct 2021 20:38:

Look, if you want to go to meetings that's cool. But what if quitting could be easy and even fun? What if it were just like dropping an object from your hand that you had been holding onto very tightly? Think about it.

What if all of the things that you did while in addiction weren't because you are a bad person? What if all of the things you think you need to fix about yourself are not causing the addiction, but are caused by the addiction? You really have nothing to lose by reading the book: if it's not for you, you have nothing to lose. If it works for you, you will have gained tremendously. There's even a free audiobook linked in the beginning.

As for 108 pages, it's really less than that due to some blanks. Also, if you're in SA they ask you to read the Big Book of AA (164 + 412 of stories = 576 pages), the SA white book (212 pages), along with all kinds of AA and SA literature, like Came to Believe (121 pages), 12 & 12 (192 pages), Recovery Continues, Step into Action, and so on. I've read all those books and more, we're talking multiple books and hundreds of pages. I've also spent hundreds of hours in meetings. What's 108 pages? That's nothing!

ihadstringsbutnowimfree wrote on 02 Aug 2021 17:45:

Looks intriguing. Thank you for posting.

ihadstringsbutnowimfree wrote on 11 Oct 2021 22:04:

I think that argument applies very much to the average skeptic, and I agree with it. But in my case I can show the necessity of a support group in cases like mine, and making the addiction go away is not a desirable goal, because the good sides of me are also the addiction, so when the addiction goes away for good I'll be nothing at all.

I do believe that there are two kinds of people who have compulsions, and your tools probably work very well for the other kind.

I wish you would consider the possibility...that the personality traits that you think are causing the addiction, are actually caused by the addiction!

If you need a support group, by all means keep at it, you're doing great! You can also look into SMART recovery, you might like it.

You should know something about 12 Step groups (AA, SA, etc). They have an abysmal abstinence rate. It's so low (less than 5%) that it calls into question whether the steps do anything. (Polite way of saying that they don't do anything. Look into 1970's Dr. Valient, board member and lover of AA, who did a study on AA here) No one told me this before I started going to SA. I had so many questions and stiros m'nei u'bei about everything I heard and read about in SA and AA, but I pushed it aside, because "it works, so whatever." Get this clear in your mind regarding the steps:I'm not saying don't go, because you might still get some utility out of a peer support group; additionally, you might feel less shame and guilt after meeting with other addicted persons. But know this: Bill Wilson's spiritual experience was caused by an LSD trip. He tried to make it part of the steps but it never stuck. Also, LSD became illegal, so there's that.

Bill Wilson called smoking the "hardest addiction to break".

Well, Allen Carr's Easyway has a 90% success rate at their stop smoking seminars for helping people stop smoking for at least 12 months! If Billy says it's the hardest addiction, and Easyway has a 90% success rate vs. 12 Steps 5% success rate, then Kal v'Chomer Easyway is at least 18 times better than 12 step. Easy Peasy is an adaptation of Easyway for porn addiction. You owe it to yourself to read it. You'll be no worse off than you are now. On the contrary; you stand high chances of making enormous gains!

AA, SA and 12 steps are no more than a sham and a religious cult. That's why Bill Wilson's house is now a religious shrine. They only exist because they had first mover advantage in the late 1930's, and have stuck around since then by grifting every well-meaning medical professional and clergy member that they could swindle, and by employing their members in expensive, government and insurance funded rehab centers that also don't work as they're just glorified AA. It's not the members' fault. They were swindled by Bill Wilson, who was partially swindled by Frank Buchman, the Hitler-loving founder of the Oxford Group, which is EXACTLY the same thing as AA, even though Wilson says he changed stuff in the Big Book. He didn't. Everything AA says is a lie, and that's because Bill Wilson was a liar, in addition to being a thief (stole the rights to the Big Book from the first 100 members (50% of whom relapsed within 6 months of the book's publication, btw))and a womanizer. What a great, spiritual guy, right?

It's not the people in AA's fault: they were lied to themselves by previous members who in turn were lied to by Billy Wilson and Dr. Bob (also a terrible guy). I don't hate them, but I do resent and pity them. That's right. A resentment. Deal with it, Roy K.!

I'll take my porn-free life and keep it moving. Trust your judgement, and don't let the steppers make you think you're a bad person. You're not bad, you're not dumb, and you don't lack willpower. You are just one of many that fell into the subtle trap of addiction. Good news! There's an easy way to pull yourself out, it's called EasyPeasy, and you should read it or listen to the audiobook!

Sorry, I just had to get that stuff out there. Actually, I'm not sorry. I'm angry that I didn't know these facts about AA and SA before wasting countless hours of my time, not to mention my money, on pointless meetings and books that were clearly written by someone in the middle of experiencing a stroke.

I've decided that I'm free from porn, and have no reason to visit GYE anymore. I had only been coming back these last couple of months sporadically, just to let people know about Easy Peasy. People know now, and more will find out about it as people share their success stories. My work here is done. It's time to go and enjoy my porn free life. See ya and good luck. If you read EasyPeasy you won't need luck. I'm out.

HEY SLOW DOWN!!!

I’ve been meaning to ask who the author of the Peasy method is, because you sort of announced the article at the same date that it was printed, so I was wondering if it’s yours?

PAGE 106
“There are many competing methods for overcoming addiction, each with different success rates. I’m not going to mention any of them because most of them are a waste of time and I want to keep this as short as possible.”

No professional would write like that!

Okay later on if you decide that you want to be friends with some sex addicts I hope you'll come back.

Maybe I missed something but that link you posted www.michaelmurphypsychologies.com/vaillantaacultorcure.pdf is saying quite the opposite. I am really confused.

anonymous.lost.everything wrote on 13 Oct 2021 03:20:

I haven't been following the conversation at all (because "easy peasy" methods don't speak to me; truthfully, now, "shverer kishuy" methods don't speak to me as well), but if you'd like to befriend a sex addict, I'm available.

Im not trying to become part of whatever argument is going on here (it's OK to have different opinions btw, that's one of the magical things about being human) but I just wanted to thank the creator of this thread for recommending Easypeasy. I spent most of this week reading it, and it really changed everything for me. It taught me so much about my addiction that just made so much sense! Thanks to you, I'm finally free from the terrible trap and the little monster in my head. For everyone reading this, please at least give it a read. It could mean everything to you the way it did for me. It feels so good to say: Baruch Hashem it's over, Baruch Hashem I'm free!!!

Can you purchase the book (the one specifically for porn) in paperback or is it only in a pdf format?