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The EasyPeasy Method for quitting PMO
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TOPIC: The EasyPeasy Method for quitting PMO 3645 Views

The EasyPeasy Method for quitting PMO 02 Aug 2021 17:37 #371363

EasyPeasy is an adaptation of Allan Carr's Easyway to Quit Smoking. The basic premise of the book is that it takes your mindset from being one of a user that enjoys porn (or Youtube, IG, Tiktok, etc.) and sees quitting as something hard to do, to a non-user that sees no benefit in using porn and sees quitting as the most natural thing in the world to do. You probably don't do hard drugs like heroine. If you read the book, you'll see porn like heroine: something that only harms you and provides no benefit, and is therefore very easy to not consume. That's why it's called EasyPeasy: because quitting is easy! You'll want to read the book, but here are some of the basic ideas of the book:

7 Core Ideas of the Book

1. You want to quit porn. Don’t forget this. You decided to escape the trap once and for all. Taking 1 quick peek will only suck you back in. This might seem tempting, except...

2. The trap has no benefit to it. There is no advantage to porn. You might think that it helps you release, escape, deal with stress, etc. But in all of these cases, remember that the non-addict deals with these daily struggles of life better than an addict. Your addiction will only make and keep things worse!

3. Withdrawal symptoms are mild. Remember, it is your fear of withdrawal symptoms that keeps you hooked. It’s what makes you relapse. It’s what makes you have “just one peek.” But there is nothing to fear at all! The withdrawal symptoms are mild at best. You’ve gone through them countless times whether it be due to friends, family, school, or work. Biologically, there is nothing to fear. You won’t explode.

4. The real issue is psychological. It is the fear. It is the crutch that tells you that porn addiction will help you find fulfillment. It will help you fill the void of your life. It will do no such thing. If anything, it created the void in the first place. The larger fact is that you must know where these false beliefs came from. Primarily from:

5. Over a lifetime of looking at media, social media, friends, society, etc., you’ve been fed the lie that sex is the most important thing in the world. They tell you that without sex, you are incomplete. That you must always be seeking sex. That if you don’t, you’re a loser. Start looking out for these things. Don’t fear missing out on these delusions again. They are all lies anyways! They are told by people to make you feeling less worthy and hooked so that you can stay addicted to their apps, their products and services, and buy whatever they’re selling them.

6. You’ve been "brainwashed" over a lifetime. So reversing the lies will take some time. Affirm to yourself everyday about the truths you’ve uncovered in this book. Tell yourself how excited you are to become free from the porn trap. How great it feels to let the poison out. How life gets better when you’re a non-addict. You cannot passively do this. You must actively seek out positive messages and tell them to yourself. Please please please do this! Otherwise, you might slip up again.

7. In case you slip up, don’t beat yourself up! Remember, that is part of the trap. Get back up, re-read the book, and try again. The brainwashing takes time to reverse. Affirm the truth to yourself: you weren't happy being a user. That's why you quit!

Emergency Reminder:
If you’re feeling “on edge” with withdrawal and want to take “just one peek”, remember:

Change the meaning of what you’re feeling. Don’t think that your body is asking for its fix, instead, tell yourself: “Wow! This is how it feels like when the poison drains out of me!” Or think, "That isn't a real urge, because I don't actually want porn anymore, now that I've read the book. That's a withdrawal urge! It's a sign of my brain and body becoming more healthy!"

Change the meaning of what you’re feeling and withdrawals will be easily overcome. You’re not fighting (i.e. using your willpower). You are changing the meaning!

Coda
These notes were adapted from notes I found elsewhere on the book. I hope this at least gives you an idea of what the book is about, as well as giving you some notes to refer back to from time to time or in a moment of forgetfulness of your decision to quit (i.e., an urge). These notes are definitely not a substitute for reading (or listening to, there's an audiobook linked in the pdf!) the book. Thanks and good luck, although you don't really need luck, you just need about 5 hours of time to read the book. If you have a commute, you could easily listen to the audiobook over a few days. Don't think about quitting before reading the book, this will be a barrier to starting. Just think "I don't have to quit at all, I'm just reading this book because I'm an intellectually curious person who enjoys reading new things!" This will make it easier to get started. You might want to print out the PDF so you can read it in a less distracted environment than a screen.

Please post any questions or insights in the thread, so others may benefit. Thank you!

Check out my thread The Easy Peasy Method

Or just read the book. Based on Alan Carr's Easyway.

"All porn ever does is relieve the withdrawal symptoms that it causes, and it ceases to relieve them completely."
Last Edit: 30 Jan 2022 15:29 by ihadstringsbutnowimfree. Reason: Intro to ideas

Re: The EasyPeasy Method for quitting PMO 02 Aug 2021 17:45 #371364

Porn creates the very symptoms it relieves, and ceases to relieve them completely.

Every porn user consumes porn purely to relieve the dopamine craving caused by it.

Will I miss the fun? No. Isn't withdrawal painful? NO.

Try reading the book, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. I wish I'd read this years ago.
easypeasymethod.org/easypeasy.pdf
Check out my thread The Easy Peasy Method

Or just read the book. Based on Alan Carr's Easyway.

"All porn ever does is relieve the withdrawal symptoms that it causes, and it ceases to relieve them completely."

Re: The EasyPeasy Method for quitting PMO 02 Aug 2021 20:20 #371366

Thanks for sharing.
You shared it on another forum and I read it. Im currently holding at 13 days clean, which is not such a sign that it's working for me, but I'll see over the next few weeks if it's working. I think I still need to reread it 

Re: The EasyPeasy Method for quitting PMO 02 Aug 2021 22:36 #371371

If you really don't like to read, here are a couple of videos that you could try instead. I don't think GYE lets us link full videos, so just append you tube dot com before the / Alan Carr explaining his method in 5 minutes. It's not like reading the book, but it gives you an idea of the mindset you can hope to achieve after reading the book. Highly recommend, even to those who've read the book multiple times like myself. /watch?v=0TL2Vh7goJc The original reading of the book by Fraser Patterson: /watch?v=ZktxO6adTnI An American accented reading of the book, with chapters (check the channel for the other chapters): /watch?v=pg2vyKGdDNM
Check out my thread The Easy Peasy Method

Or just read the book. Based on Alan Carr's Easyway.

"All porn ever does is relieve the withdrawal symptoms that it causes, and it ceases to relieve them completely."
Last Edit: 30 Jan 2022 16:00 by ihadstringsbutnowimfree. Reason: error

Re: The EasyPeasy Method for quitting PMO 02 Aug 2021 22:52 #371372

.
Check out my thread The Easy Peasy Method

Or just read the book. Based on Alan Carr's Easyway.

"All porn ever does is relieve the withdrawal symptoms that it causes, and it ceases to relieve them completely."
Last Edit: 09 Sep 2021 22:16 by ihadstringsbutnowimfree.

Re: The EasyPeasy Method for quitting PMO 03 Aug 2021 02:58 #371377

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ihadstringsbutnowimfree wrote on 02 Aug 2021 22:36:
Glad you read it! Yeah, I figured I'd make a separate thread instead of sharing it over and over. I don't know why this isn't more widely known, apparently the first version came out in 2017. If only I'd known then...oh well.

I read it for the first time about two weeks ago and relapsed after 10 days for 2 reasons. Firstly, I had not followed the instructions to have a last session, as I was a few days abstinent at the time. Secondly, I did not fully remove the "brainwashing" or emotional attachment fully; I still had 5% attachment left, desire to use some "less bad" content (still porn even if not nude material, porn is just sexually stimulating content). Due to both of these reasons, I had to resort to willpower a few times and they were all related to the 5% that I hadn't gotten rid of.

Once I relapsed, I used it as an opportunity to re-read the book with the 5% content in mind, and followed the instructions to have a last session. The next day I felt 99% free, and ever since then I feel 100% free. When urges come along I just follow the method: I think "would a non-user have these urges to use porn?" and then that makes me realize that it's not me that wants to use porn, it's my addiction talking. So then I say to my addiction, "No, YOU want to use porn. Shut up." Then my addiction goes "Ya got me" and slinks away. It's pretty amusing. Sounds crazy to talk to yourself, but it really helps to use the Addiction Voice Recognition Technique with it to realize that you are not your urges, and that any time you have a withdrawal pang or an urge to use, it's the addiction talking, not you. I have a pang? It's not me, it's YOU, Mr. Addict! I'm on to you! Then the urge goes away. No willpower required.

I've looked into many modalities, including Recovery Nation, SA (religious cult), and other things. This method is the one I've been looking for: don't tell me I need to do this and that, just get rid of the addiction so I can begin to live again. It's a lot easier to sort out all the damage I've done when I'm not thinking about this stuff all day.

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Re: The EasyPeasy Method for quitting PMO 03 Aug 2021 13:12 #371384

.
Check out my thread The Easy Peasy Method

Or just read the book. Based on Alan Carr's Easyway.

"All porn ever does is relieve the withdrawal symptoms that it causes, and it ceases to relieve them completely."
Last Edit: 09 Sep 2021 22:15 by ihadstringsbutnowimfree.

Re: The EasyPeasy Method for quitting PMO 04 Aug 2021 15:25 #371422

.
Check out my thread The Easy Peasy Method

Or just read the book. Based on Alan Carr's Easyway.

"All porn ever does is relieve the withdrawal symptoms that it causes, and it ceases to relieve them completely."
Last Edit: 09 Sep 2021 22:14 by ihadstringsbutnowimfree.

Re: The EasyPeasy Method for quitting PMO 08 Aug 2021 17:57 #371516

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Hi

Thanks a lot for sharing about the book. I'm a little new to this website, came across your thread and spent the past few days reading the book, rereading a few times the parts that i found to be extra important.

First of all, i absolutely love the general mindset, instead of getting stuck on this issue and battling it your entire life (counting days etc.) i very much connect to this approach of dealing with the core issue and fixing it from there.

Just a few observations, plus if you can help me clarify something (didn't find a contact in the book to reach out to, but sounds like you're very into this book, so you might be able to help...).

Just a little background about myself: I'm a 22 year old Bochur, started taking this very seriously over a year ago, and managed to stay away completely for almost 6 months. After i fell i had another long period, and then i pretty much went back down all the way. At this point I'm clean for 2 weeks already. So based on my record and the way I'm feeling right now, the "addiction part" or the "little monster" (in the author's language) is i think more or less under control. Right now i don't have easy access to unfiltered internet, and based on my plans, i will not be having for at least another while. My main concern is what the author calls the "big monster" - the brainwashing.

Since I've tried battling this a couple times and even succeeded for a pretty long time, I'm not really worried about day-to-day survival (over those 6 months and again 2 and a half months afterwards when i generally did not have easy access to unfiltered Internet - i was totally fine, no pangs at all), I'm more worried about the long term, when i randomly end up in front of an unfiltered computer and there's no one around, starts with a little peek, and I'm back to square one. That's what I'm dealing with.

Up until reading this book, i would focus on reminding myself of the devastating results after each session, the depression, nervousness, loss of self esteem etc., hoping that by doing so i would get myself to stop.

After reading the book i realized that instead i really should be focusing on the "brainwashing aspect", to realize that i don't actually enjoy watching any of that. In other words: the loss is not after the session but the session itself doesn't give me any genuine pleasure whatsoever, the pleasure i feel is just an illusion. With this mindset I won't be looking at the sessions as a "forbidden fruit" that can have terrible results, rather the whole thing is fake. I don't want it at all.

So while i very much agree to the general approach, i have a hard time applying it to my case since the background i come from is very different then the environment the author is trying to address.

A big portion of the "brainwashing aspect" in the book is what comes from social media, pair pressure, the press etc., which all doesn't apply at all to my case. I come from a very religious family where these things are completely out of question. In my personal life aside from this issue I'm completely observant, and usually even growing in all other areas of yidishkait. Never followed social media etc., and technically there's no outside source (that i can think of) that would be pushing me to be attracted to this.

But the brainwashing issue is obviously still there. I'm not brainwashed from the outside, it's a feeling that i got that this is enjoyable and i got it myself just from "experience". Upon some self examination, i still think that unfortunately my mindset is still problematic. I still look at it that a session is enjoyable and I'll have pleasure, only the results are painful.

For example how is this different then knowing that eating a lot of nosh right now will for sure cause your teeth to deteriorate or a stomach ache, but you still eat it cuz you ignore the future - right now it tastes good. Porn still seems to me the same, I'm fully aware of the pain and agony that will arrive right after this, yet i choose not to think about it to have some fun now.

Of course after a long period of not doing it (fort instance 6 months) i don't just jump right into it, i don't have that massive urge anymore. it starts with a "little peek" "testing the filter" etc., and from there it goes down hill. And of course all of the material in the book addressing this "little peek" trick is definitely true and real, i one hundred percent identify with that, and i will definitely strengthen myself in that, but my perspective on a "session" (which is the main thing that should be dealt with) still kind of didn't budge.

Hope i explained my question well enough, i did read the appropriate parts in the book quite a few times, yet i still didn't really see the light. If you can please add some clarity i would really appreciate that.

Thanks
Last Edit: 08 Aug 2021 21:32 by yuditrying.

Re: The EasyPeasy Method for quitting PMO 09 Aug 2021 02:15 #371520

.
Check out my thread The Easy Peasy Method

Or just read the book. Based on Alan Carr's Easyway.

"All porn ever does is relieve the withdrawal symptoms that it causes, and it ceases to relieve them completely."
Last Edit: 09 Sep 2021 22:03 by ihadstringsbutnowimfree.

Re: The EasyPeasy Method for quitting PMO 10 Aug 2021 20:53 #371544

.
Check out my thread The Easy Peasy Method

Or just read the book. Based on Alan Carr's Easyway.

"All porn ever does is relieve the withdrawal symptoms that it causes, and it ceases to relieve them completely."
Last Edit: 09 Sep 2021 22:02 by ihadstringsbutnowimfree.

Re: The EasyPeasy Method for quitting PMO 10 Aug 2021 21:05 #371545

.
Check out my thread The Easy Peasy Method

Or just read the book. Based on Alan Carr's Easyway.

"All porn ever does is relieve the withdrawal symptoms that it causes, and it ceases to relieve them completely."
Last Edit: 09 Sep 2021 22:01 by ihadstringsbutnowimfree.

Re: The EasyPeasy Method for quitting PMO 11 Aug 2021 22:07 #371558

  • yuditrying
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Hey thank you very much for the response, very explanatory and helpful, i really appreciate it.

My main concern is obviously being that I've stayed clean for a relatively long time and yet fallen after that again, and having read this book i still haven't had a major "click" in my head of something completely new or different then the way i thought before, what exactly will stop me from falling again in the future?

Anyways in the meantime I'm thinking over a lot the contents of the book, i think that in the course of some time it will hopefully resonate with me even more.

I'm actually pretty interested in this AVRT theory, i think it may be a little more connected to my case. Do you know what their website is? Also seems like they've only written about alcohol and drugs addiction, not about pmo, is that correct?
Last Edit: 11 Aug 2021 22:21 by yuditrying.

Re: The EasyPeasy Method for quitting PMO 15 Sep 2021 02:00 #372477

Many ask "does it work, though?". Ask yourself the following: who wants to know if it works, you or your addiction? Who is afraid that it WILL work: you, who are willing to try anything and everything including coming on this site to look for some type of way forward, or your addiction (limbic system), which is terrified that you might actually succeed?

So. Who wants to know if it works? You? Or is it your addiction doing the talking? Search your feelings, you know the answer already.
Check out my thread The Easy Peasy Method

Or just read the book. Based on Alan Carr's Easyway.

"All porn ever does is relieve the withdrawal symptoms that it causes, and it ceases to relieve them completely."

Re: The EasyPeasy Method for quitting PMO 15 Sep 2021 02:13 #372478

An even better answer to "does it work?" comes from the book:

Page 11:
"You didn’t decide to fall into the trap, but be clear in your mind: you won’t escape from it unless you make the affirmative decision to do so. You may already be straining at the leash to quit, or you may be apprehensive about the very thought, but either way, please bear in mind: YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE!

"If at the end of the book you decide that you wish to continue to use porn for masturbation or sex, there’s nothing to prevent you from doing so. You don’t even have to cut down or stop using porn whilst reading the book, and remember, there is no shock treatment. On the contrary, I have only good news for you. Can you imagine how Andy Dufresne felt when he finally escaped from Shawshank Prison? That’s how I felt when I escaped from the porn trap, and that’s how the ex-users who’ve used EasyPeasy feel. By the end of the book, that’s how you’ll feel! Go for it!"

Page 13:
"Many don’t finish the book because they feel they have to give something up, some even deliberately only reading one line per day in order to postpone the evil event. Look at it this way, what have you got to lose? If you don’t stop at the end of the book, you’re no worse off than you are now. It’s by definition a Pascal’s Wager, a bet taken where you have nothing to lose and high chances of large gains."

The only thing that stops us from abstaining from porn for good is fear. Well, there's nothing to fear, and there's nothing to lose, but there exists a large potential for gain. Pascal's Wager. It's a New Year; if you're looking for new outcomes, it might be time to try a new approach.
Check out my thread The Easy Peasy Method

Or just read the book. Based on Alan Carr's Easyway.

"All porn ever does is relieve the withdrawal symptoms that it causes, and it ceases to relieve them completely."
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